Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Busy Little Bee
When I pictured what life would be like staying home with Lauren, I didn't necessarly picture what life looks like now. My image was more made up and posed. I remember feeling the same way when I started teaching. I had pictured this happy classroom where each lesson plan was won over by each student, inspiring them to want to know more...okay well maybe I was more realistic than that. But I do have to say somethings are better than I imagined and other things are not quite the same (not bad, just different). Then there were things that I just knew to expect because I nannied two cuties each summer during college.
I imagined spending lots of time with Lauren as she developed and grew each day. This is a billion time more wonderful than I could have imagined before she was born. There is something about ones own child that you just don't understand until you have one. To see her smile, laugh, investigate, learn, explore, and pick herself back up after a fall just makes my heart swell with joy and admiration. I also imagined going to parks, outings, and the library with her. This is even better than imagined too. It's like having your best pal with you everywhere you go- now she is a little more needy than the average BFF, but I let it slide since she's such a cutie.
Now the things that didn't fit into my mold. I imagined getting all my household chores done while she slept...lol...like that would really happen (what was I thinking). I laugh now, but I made a list of small projects I wanted to do in my "spare" time- lol...only two of them have gotten done- organizing the kitchen pantry and cleaning out the fridge. Some weeks I'm lucky to get the minimal amount of chores accomplished, silly me. I also pictured things being more laid back. Maybe I forgot that I was the person who was staying home- lol, I have to work at being laid back, where to some people it just comes naturally. I do have to say that to some extent thing are laid back, but I still feel rushed to get dinner done, just like when I was working. Except now dinner is healthier and homemade more times than not, unlike when I worked and dinner was whatever was easy and fast. On Mondays and Fridays with Noah here, it can feel more stressed too. I enjoy watching him and am glad for Lauren to have such a great buddy to play with, so don't get me wrong- but taking after two babies sure steps up everything a notch.
I knew what to expect with some things. Like, what could entertain a baby wouldn't necessary entertain me. I knew days wouldn't always go as planned but the best chance of that happening was to plan ahead as much a possible (mostly talking about outings). I also knew that you could get lonely (although I haven't felt that too much). I also knew that it was going to be a lot of effort/work. No days with me just sitting around, kicking up my feet, and sipping away on an umbrella drink (hahaha, I sure make myself laugh sometimes).
It's funny that most people don't have any real understanding of how much work a teacher does in his/her day on top of the actual teaching- I think this is also true of motherhood as well. It isn't until you are in the "trenches" that you realize how much work it is. I'm glad I'm called to this job. It's rewarding, tiring, eventful, loving, fun, and some times just plain busy!
"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity, and honor." Proverbs 21:21