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Monday, May 20, 2013

A Quote


"All that will matter forever and ever 
in our heavenly state is the 
GLORY that came to 
God through our lives." 
~Beth Moore

This really resonated in my soul today, so I'm sharing it with you.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

"Dear God, Amen."

"If you lose your way just stop and pray." My oldest reads over and over as she sits on her bed. I popped my head into her room with her fussy sister in hand. "whatcha readin`?" I ask, even though I already knew the answer. "prayer book" she replies matter-of-factly. "Ohhh, do you think you could read some to Olivia and me? Olivia`s a little sad." She tolerates me setting her baby sister down and continues her reading, "If you lose your way, just stop and pray." She repeats the phrase over and over as her finger rolls over the poem on the page. When she gets to the end of the page she looks up and says "Time to pray" as the next page indicates by the prayer line and she folds her hands over, both Olivia and I follow suit. "Dear God, Amen." Then she turns the page and repeats the process with the next page of her book. Olivia settles down as she enjoys listening to her sister. I take advantage of the serene moment to enjoy these two little girls and smile at the view that is making my heart leap.


There are so many moments like the one above I'm so afraid I'm going to forget. In these busy days when I'm running here, doing this, and making that I feel like their sweet little childhoods are just rolling by. Why does it seem like time flies these days. I mean it's already May for goodness sake. In one week Lauren is going to be two and a half. When did she get so old? Olivia seems to be developing at rapid pace and in a week she's going to be four months- wasn't she just in my belly?

Listening to Lauren read her prayer book just reminded me of what a answer to prayer she is. What an answer to prayer they both are! If I feel joy listening to her read her prayer book, I can only imagine how God feels. As a parent I hope and pray that I'm doing the best I can in bringing my girls up in a way that exemplifies God's love and His desire to be close to us. I'm blessed with wonderful girls and I'm even more blessed with a wonderful Lord. May they always remember to "stop and pray."

"Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life." Proverbs 4:13

***The book she's reading was given to us by a dear friend. It's a great book and we use it daily before nap and bedtime. She just loves it. The title is Really Woolly Bedtime Prayers. There is a whole bunch of Woolly books out there, I'm sure they're all just as great.***

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Quest Continues...

I just had me an Amen Jesus Moment! Thought I'd share.

So if you've cared to keep up with my blog you know that I've been praying and seeking God's plans for me on how to deal with what my future may hold. Not just my future, but the future of my family and I. I went digging in God's word and felt like he answered me loud and clear. Check out my post from yesterday here to see His answer.

So I've been going to Proverbs 31 Ministries daily to read their devotional. I try and do this in the short time I have both girls down for afternoon nap. Today time got away from me so I just checked it after getting in from Zumba. Well, oh my goodness, it reiterated EXACTLY what I concluded last night. It's like the author was in my soul and speaking to me, knowing just what to say. Please take a moment to read the devotional for today here

Well God, I heard you loud and clear! Thanks for driving your word home into my heart. Amen!

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." 1 Timothy 6:6-7


Sunday, May 12, 2013

My Quest

So a few posts ago I was, and still will be, speaking vaguely about an area in my life I've been pondering (check it out here if you want), something God has put on my heart to seek understanding in. I've been wondering how God wants me to act when it comes to the future. In a world that is always pushing the philosophy of "bigger is better" and "here comes the next newer, more desirable model" and "you could be happier if you had _______." How should I be looking at my present and future? I know for sure, I want to be looking at it through God's eyes. Not my eyes of "wanting" but God's eyes of "blessings."  And does God always want us looking forward at what's to come or does He want us to be content in the here and now.

Now I know that I'm not going to walk away from this with these questions answered for the whole world per-say but my prayer is for God to help lead me to answers about my journey and walk with him. I hope that you bear with me in this journey, as I share my feelings and findings. I'm doing this here, in public- um sort of public, because maybe someone else out there may need these words of God to help them as well. So here's what I've come across so far.

God lead me to Philippians 4:12-13. Here Paul states how we should be content in any situation- weather we are hungry or full. For no matter where we are in life we should be content. Here I feel like God is telling me that I should be content in the here and now. With whatever I possess I should be content. I feel like I am. I'm grateful with all the blessings I have now. Even though I don't necessary have all my "wants," I sure do possess all my immediate "needs." If nothing were to change and my "now" would become my "future" I would be okay with that. But does that stop me from wanting more?

While looking around I was also drawn to Psalm 37:7a - "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." This spoke to my heart because God has a plan for me, and if I wait on His will to be done, I will be blessed no matter what it is that happens. But are we suppose to sit around and wait for it? Wait for our future and do nothing in the present?

So when I read Psalm 128:1-2 "Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience in him. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours." I feel like he's saying that if we are working with God, following God- our future blessings will come from him. That us working towards His good will bring us our future blessings. So that makes me think- no we don't just sit and do nothing while our future unfolds before us, but what we do is what God tells us to do, be obedient to his will. And when I think of all I've learned in my walk with God, I know his will for me is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." and "Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37, 39. 

So for now, my conclusion is...

To be a blessing to others

Be content with what I have and where I am

I should desire to be more like Jesus 

Love my God with all my heart

Love everyone around as Jesus first loved me

If I do these things then my future- whatever it may hold, will be held in the mighty hands of my Heavenly Father. And with that, I have nothing to worry about. 

God's Greatest Gift

Even though today is called "Mother's Day" I view it as a day to remember how blessed I am to have the children God gave me. For it is because of this special gift, I'm bestowed the title of 'Mom'. Here's to the gift of children and the joy they bring to our lives. 





Heavenly Father, I'm overflowing with thankfulness (Ephesians 5:20) as I enjoy the gifts you've given me today. Lauren Shea and Olivia Jean, two of the biggest blessings in my life give me purpose and meaning (Proverbs 19:21). I pray that they always look to you and your word and see that you're more precious than gold and sweeter than honey (Psalm 19:10) for your love and mercy can't be matched (James 5:11). The joy that fills my soul by your Holy Spirit leaps when I'm with them (1 Thessalonians 1:6) and longs to bring them up in a way that is pleasing to you (Romans 14:18). I pray for my children to learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who lives in them (Ephesians 5:2) always and forever. Amen.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Cloth Diapering 102

So we're finally able to start cloth diapering with Olivia. She had this horrid diaper rash since she was just a few weeks old. Her poor bum was just red and raw. I took her to the doctors three different times trying to figure out what was going on. First they thought it might be a fungal infection, so we got one cream. Then they thought it was a bacterial infection, so we got another cream.Then we were told it was just a really bad case of diaper rash. We were instructed to keep up with the anti-bacterial cream and then top it off with Aquaphor. We did this for over a month with no end in sight. At her 3 month appointment the doctor suggested we just put straight Aquaphor on it and see if that works. And BAM!, it did. I think there was more to it though.

So on top of her nasty diaper rash, she was also spitting up cottage cheese all the time and I noticed if I ate or drank anything with lots of milk it was extra bad. On days I wouldn't drink milk or eat anything, like Alfrado sauce, that the spitting up would decrease exponentially. Even the cheese on our ritual Friday night pizza would cause it, as well as the buttermilk in Saturday mornings pancakes. I have since pretty much eliminated almost all milk products from my diet. Yes, she still spits up but not funky cottage cheese. I even noticed that if I tried to sneak in some milk product here and there, like a little sherbet, that she would then buck like a bronco during nursing a day or two later because her little tummy was bothering her. I still put a slice of cheese on my sandwiches, but that's about it. I sure do miss my dairy but Olivia is well worth the sacrifice!! When I talked to her doctor she said that she wouldn't say she's allergic since there is not blood in her stool but she's intolerant. It might be her under developed digestive system too, so she suggests I try milk again in a while once she's a little older.

Now, for the kicker. I started noticing the direct connection between her diaper rash and diary too! We finally got her bum all cleared up and I ate some pizza and BAM, it was back. I was amazed and felt awful all at the same time. Since I've pretty much cut diary out completely her bum has been 100% A-Okay. So now that that's all set we have busted out our FuzziBunz stash. 

The extra time getting around to using them gave me time to readjust them all. With Lauren I adjusted them as I got them, so it wasn't as big of a task. But now I have Lauren to help as she got in on the fun and helped me organize them. It's so cute how small they get. We use the FuzziBunz, One Size diapers. They are great. I started using them with Lauren when she was seven months old. I didn't start using them until I started staying home. They have paid for themselves ten fold already so now every time I use them I feel like I'm making money- weird but if you think about it, it's so true. Just one more thing I do to help us out in the money department.

Olivia hasn't had any issues with them. In fact, I was noticing that with the disposables she had been having regular blow outs, but not with the cloth diapers. The blow outs are most likely due to the fact that she's ready for the next size up- I hate that about disposables. We buy them in bulk since they're so much cheaper that way but then before we know it she's grown out of them and they're not all used up. Guess I'll save them for the next baby. I still have some size threes left over from Lauren. I plan on using them when we head out for vacations this summer. That is where I cheat on my wonderful cloth diapers. I feel like I get a vacation from the extra load of laundry and all that goes with it, plus I'm very reluctant to wash them some place where they might get ruined by hard water or drying in a dryer that might ruin them. I'm sure I'm just being OCD but it's just much easier for me all the same. 

I've even turned Esther into a believer in cloth diapering. She has purchased a small stash off eBay. I was telling her they have great resale value when she brought them up to me one Wednesday, ensuring her that if she didn't like them she could just sell them and not lose all of her investment. She went online to check it out and decided to get them used instead of new and saved like two dollars a diaper- go her. She uses them on her two and a half year old at night- since she hasn't quite gotten the hang of potty training at night. She loves them. Her hubby was reluctant to using them on the new baby (just a month away until we get to meet him!) when she brought up the idea to him so she was hoping that if she used them on Caitlyn at night that he would see how awesome they are. I need to check with her on how that is going. 

The pocket diaper system really works for us and I'm loving that I get to use them again. Lauren is having fun picking out which color Olivia should wear when I change her. The silly girl is also very interested in the dirty ones in the hanging diaper pal. That is one thing I've asked Matt for this time round, is another hanging diaper bag and another wet/dry to go bag. I wished I had two travel wet/dry bags with Lauren so if I went out two days in a row I didn't have to us a plastic bag. At first he was hesitant (as with most things I bring up- I love my man, he keeps me in check) but then he agreed having two would come in handy. I'm still wondering if two of the hanging diaper bags is necessary or not. We'll see. 


For now I'm just excited to cut the budget one diaper at a time!!!!!! (I'm such a dork and I know it)




A Potpourri of Stuff

Lots of thoughts running through my head today so here is the potpourri of my brain- sweet smelling but a whole bunch of mixed matched hard to identify stuff in one post. Just to warn you this post starts out light and fluffy, and get's a little bit more deep as I'm working though some stuff in my brain and on my heart.

Super excited to have ventured out this morning with the girls to my first garage sale. I was bummed to only find one in our area setting up shop on Friday but it was still a neat adventure all the same. Lauren scored two awesome items- she got a Build-a-Bear Hello Kitty for just a whopping $4 and a PlayDough kit for just $3. A total of $7 spent and we were good. Lauren has been loving on her Hello Kitty all afternoon/evening. We even dressed her for bed like Lauren. She's not really into dolls so it's neat to see her with a stuffed animal that is more like a doll. It's just not the same to put a shirt or diaper on Sharky and the best we've done with Bunny Night-Night is hair clips. Also, an added bonus is there is a "meow" sound maker in the paw. We found that after we got back in the car from the park- completely unexpected find but it was like it was waiting there for her packed in a box in some ladies shed.

Also going on in our lives, we're cloth diapering Olivia! There is more about this to come, so click here. But I was also super excited to use my clothes line Matt and his dad instilled about a month ago. I did my first wash load of diapers and since it was finally sunny out today, they got to air dry in the warm sun. When I called my MIL to tell her about my garage sale excitement and getting to use my clothes line, she called me a 'Renaissance Woman', and I sure feel like one. I was able to save my family money today in two totally different ways, but that makes me happy to know that I'm doing it. I might not bring much money into the house, just what I make from watching Brooke here and there, but I feel like I'm able to contribute to our monthly budget in different ways. Like lately I've been making my own red sauce and freezing it. I know I'm not saving hundreds or anything, but each little bit counts.

Anyway, I've been wanting to write a little about the thoughts on my heart/brain. I've been thinking about a few philosophical things. I sometimes wish I was smarter and knew where to find the answers to all my 'life questions'- I'm sure I'm not the only one who wishes that. I know God will direct me to the answers if I pray about them and rely on him- so that's what I've been doing- I've been praying. 

I've been wondering when is enough, enough. Do we as humans always strive for more? Do we ever feel content or do we always look ahead for the next thing? And is looking head saying that we're not content with the here and now? I've been praying lately for a lot of things, but I was thinking today that I need to pray for God to help me know what to be focused on. I know this is probably making no sense but I'm trying to get my thoughts down without too many specifics, I'm just not ready to share them here yet. So I've been wondering, when in life or maybe I should say, when should we in life just sit back and be content. And is this what God wants us to do?

See part of my issue is I'm a planner and so I'm always thinking forward. It has been a trait I've always viewed as a positive attribute. I'm not completely focused on the future, but I've got one eye on the here and now and one on where I'm headed. This part of my personality reminds me of a lesson my dad taught me when I was learning to drive. First we started out in the parking lot, and then we moved to the side roads. Once I was on the side roads my dad told me you're not suppose to look at the road right in front of the car, but out in the distance. When you're driving, if you're too focused on your front bumper you will not be prepared for what is to come in the near future, you won't know where the car is headed. But if you look into the distance, out ahead of the car you'll be better prepare for what's to come. You can still use your peripheral vision for what is directly around the car, but that can't be your focus. So am I too focused on the future, what's out ahead of me and not enough on the peripheral of my life. I'm I having tunnel vision? Is me thinking about the future too much in some way distracting me from enjoying what I have right now?

I wonder and I pray. Pray for God to help me answer my questions. What I should be doing, where I should be heading, what I should be focused on. Trying to balance enjoying the wonders and blessing I see every day of my life and also looking ahead. I know my future is in God's hands- that is not my issue at all. But how much are we suppose to do in preparation for the future. I mean, does God just want us to simply not have a dream- is dreaming of what may come make us greedy for more? For instance, Matt's car. It's a great car. It works fine and does it's job. But I know in the future we are going to outgrow it, so do I pray now for the next car? Is us saving for the next car and thinking about what it might be taking away from the blessing the car we have now is? Here's another thought. We would like more children, but is praying for more a way of saying the two we have now is not enough? Is that we want more, that we dream of more in any way taking away from enjoying the blessings we have right now?

These are the thoughts that keep me up or fill my head as I vacuum or do the dishes. Sometimes I feel like looking into the future, what might be, what is to come allows me to assess the blessings of the here and now better. I think of having more children and I look at my girls- what joy they are to us, the wonder in their eyes, the love in their hearts- I couldn't feel more blessed. It's like my thoughts are a cycle of crazy. Does loving what I have now, make me want more? And I know that we are not promised tomorrow or the next moment for that matter, and God tells us to not worry about our future. Matthew 6:25-34 tells us not to worry plain as day, but what about dreaming what about planning for the future? So then I looked at 1 Chronicles 17 and I see how David was thinking of the future and how God spoke to him, directed him. I read Jeremiah 29:11 and I'm reminded of how God knows my future, he knows where I'm headed and he's got plans to prosper me- so he has dreams for me. So I will keep looking, staying focused on God and allow him to direct where my focus should be.

Here is my prayer...

So I pray Lord, please direct me in how you desire me to be. Lord, your blessing pour out on me daily and I praise you for all I have and all you've given me. I can't praise you enough for all that you provide in my life. But Lord I'm struggling right now. Help me to remain focused on you. Lord, direct my heart, mind, and soul on your will. Allow me to follow your will. As you taught us to pray "...your will be done on earth as it is in heaven..." May my heart be filled by your provisions. May I never take for granted all that you've put before me. Give me the wisdom to know where to focus my energy and the strength to live out your will for my life. I pray all of this in your son, Jesus' name. Amen.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Reason Number 2,496...

...why I'm not getting the mommy of the year award. Please laugh with me as I recall today's crazy events.

The morning was going wonderfully. I got up (A+). Showered. Ate. Even ran to Walgreen's to get three Mother's Day cards, M&M's, and a bottle of salad dressing (seems random, but it wasn't). Folded two loads of laundry- and all before 9:30 am- yes, I do think at this point I was actually feeling good about my day. Then as the morning continued we enjoyed the company of two wonderful ladies- they played with my kids, I was then able to fill out and address said Mother's Day cards and prepare lunch without a problem. We then enjoyed some lunch and chit-chat before our lovely company went on their merry way. Still feeling great at this point- but I should have known the moment of bliss and accomplishments were about to crash because that's what happens in a house with two kids- right?!?

We head upstairs, I was going to nurse Olivia and then give her a bath, since she missed it last night (had a church meeting she was lucky enough to attend with me) before putting both girls down for nap. Piece of cake...or not.

I'm half way done nursing Olivia on the first side and Lauren comes running into the nursery "I have to go potty!" I say in response "Go ahead, you can do it. Just take off your pants and use the stool to get up there." I continue to coach her through this experience as I wonder how she's going to do, and a few seconds later my question was answered. I heard the sound of pouring water (streaming pee) onto the bathroom floor. All I could think was, amen at least it's all on the "easy to clean" bathroom floor and not the carpet. I tell her I'm almost done nursing Olivia so just hold on. I ask if she kept her clothes dry and if she could reach the toilet paper to wipe up some of the pee. She says her pants are wet and yes she can reach the toilet paper. It's about this time Olivia finishes up and I tell Lauren I'm headed her way. Mind you, the bathroom is only six feet from where I am, but behind a wall so I can't see her. I set Olivia down and look up- there standing in front is me is my poor baby, pee dripping from her legs, with her shorts and undies in hand. I say in a panicked voice "Get back into the bathroom!" All the time thinking- don't make the mess bigger, please, please, please!!!! She turns around and I rush her into the bathroom only to have her step into the huge puddle of pee on the floor, slip, and fall smack dab onto her backside. She is now covered HEAD TO TOE in pee and crying. My mind is racing. I want to pick her up and calm her down but she's covered in pee. So I do want any mom would do and take off her pee soaked shirt and then proceed to pick her up. Poor girl. I just kept saying "I'm sorry baby." I just felt awful for her as I try and calm her. 

So I get her into the tub after calming her down, and she whimpers "I'm so sorry I pee-peed on the floor mommy" My mommy guilt is just dripping off me, along with some pee I'm sure. I reassure her it's okay she did her best to try and get on the potty and it was just an accident. I run a small bath, with bubbles because that makes every one smile, and proceed to clean up the mess on the floor. The whole time I'm thinking, you just peed an hour ago- how on earth did you make this much pee in an hour?!? On the plus side, my upstairs bathroom floor is now sparkly clean!

Lauren played in the tub while I finished nursing Olivia. I then washed Lauren up, pee-pee covered hair and all, and then plopped Olivia in the tub for a scrubbing too. They got all cleaned, lotioned, and new clothes. 

These are the days I wish I had a hidden camera in the house because this must have been a sight. A half hour after this I had both little ones down for a nap and I was taking a deep breath. Bless my heart that was one for the books or should I say blog.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

How Having Baby #2 Has Changed My Mommy-Style


TOP TEN LIST:
How Having Baby #2 Has Changed My Mommy-Style

10. I walk around with spit-up on me and think it's not necessary to change my clothes just yet- it's not that bad 
9. If my kids are mismatched or wear pj's all day I'm not horrified 
8. If Lauren's braid is still in from yesterday that means I don't need to do hair today 
7. The kitchen floor can collect a lot more crumbs than I ever imagined
6. Getting out of the house in under ten minutes should allow me a spot on the mommy wall of fame
5. Having both children asleep at the same time and me using the time productively should put me in front the promotion board for sure
4. I have learned to do many things while I nurse, like help Lauren onto the potty, and others that I never even thought possible before
3. I can somehow get lunch on the table while one child yells "I'm Hungry! I want lunch!" over and over and the other cries her head off in the high chair and I do not explode
2. Matt and I seem to have developed this bargaining deal to try and get the less needy/cranky kid to look after before the other one does...
1. My heart has swollen twice the size it was before when our two little girls flash their sweet, precious smiles at me and my brain somehow erases #10-2 from my working memory






Thursday, May 2, 2013

A batch of cookies

So here's a little crazy  from my house to ours...

I 'adopted' a college student from church- my job is to supply Anthony with yummy cookies to help power him through finals (or in his case this time to help him celebrate them being done). So today after our morning at the doctors office, Olivia's three month appointment, Lauren and I set out to bake some cookies. We were just about done when I noticed smoke coming from the oven...I quickly check the timer...still five minutes left, so they can't be burnt- can they? 

Well my father predicted this weekend that my oven burner was going to break and sure enough it did! He noticed a hot spot on the burner and forewarned me about what was going to happen.  It just snapped and smoked. Amen God gave me just enough heat to bake the last cookie sheet full to go in and all of Anthony's cookies got made! Oh I just laughed. I'm glad that today was a day that I remembered God's words- and put it in perspective. All my cookies got baked- so all was well. Plus there was the added bonus of taste testing them with Lauren- oh that was great too! We did made it to the post office and Anthony's cookies should be in his tummy by this time tomorrow!

Oh and a funny little story too...so I needed to switch strollers in the car for our trip to the post office (the double jogger was in car from going to the park with my parents this past weekend). Well I got the jogger stroller out and was closing up the inline stroller up so I could heave-ho it up into the car when I somehow managed to get tangled and stumbled forward. I would have loved to see this move in slow replay, I'm sure I would have laughed at myself doubled over like I do when I watch America's Funniest Home Video. The best was the lawn guy across the street got a front row ticket. I'm sure it was a highlight for him as he continued his mundane job of mowing the lawn. Oh the joys!

"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." 
Psalm 37:23-24