Take 1, and 2, and 3, and ...

Enjoy and giggle as you view our photo shoot gone awry...

My attempt at a photo opt with the girls in their cute outfits (again a gift from my aunt). As I looked back at them I felt like this was a gag reel and had to share the goofiness! The joys of parenting these crazy little girls is a pleasure we enjoy each moment of each day!

"In Him was life,

and the life was the Light of men.

The light shines in the darkness." 

John 1:4-5

The Reason

Today's naptime began with a nice hot shower. It's been a lazy day here and oh how we have all enjoyed the first lazy day in about a month. But as I was putting myself back together and enjoying the heat from the hot water still radiating from my skin I hear Lauren yelling on the monitor. I head to the bottom of the stairs to find out what is the matter. As I enter her room, after her not saying any specifics as to why she was screaming my name at the top of her lungs, I find a child in just her underoos. "Why are you in just your underwear Lauren?" I ask with a relaxed, but puzzled tone. Since I was in the shower I hadn't heard any of the the "goings on" from the monitor. She tells me in her frustrated and annoyed voice "I need you to put my pajamas on right now!" of course I had to ask the question "Why are they off?" She goes on to explain that she tried to unzip them but when as she began the task the zipper got stuck and by the time she got the zipper working again she was frustrated so she just took them off altogether. This makes perfect sense, but then I just needed to know, as I help her back into the pajamas, "Why did you need to unzip them in the first place?" "Well mama, I wanted to see my boo-be-button." I laugh and reply "What's your boo-be-button?" She plainly restates the word again, like I must have not heard her the first time- duh lady, you know my boo-be-button. Then it clicks and I realize she wanted to look at her belly button. Oh the joys of being three!

I have felt her frustration so much this holiday season. I L.O.V.E the holiday season but I'm finding myself needing to hear, as I have repeated a million and a half times to Lauren as she rattles off the long list of Thomas the Train Engines she's expecting Santa to bring her (mind you she told him they could all be found at, where else, Target)- that the reason for the season is to celebrate the birth of our loving Savior and Lord Jesus.

This holiday season has been so short and rushed. It all began with preparing to have my family down for Thanksgiving. Oh what a grand time it was to have a house filled with the crazy known as my mom, step-dad, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. I love them so much and was glad that they could all come, because there are always lasting memories made when we're all together. After a fast and furious Thanksgiving (everyone arrived the day of, thankfully we were smart enough to have it catered form a local grocery store- best idea ever!) we headed off to a vacation spot not too far from our house, about an hour. There we stayed in two adjoining condos and had a fun week of spending time together. Although a few hiccups occurred it was an overall wonderful week (it's hard putting three "head-of-the-house", take charge women in one community space and expect there to be nothing but harmony). I really enjoyed Lauren getting to know Bill, her Papa P, since this is really the first time she's spent more than a day or two around him in a few years. By the end of the week they were good buddies. It was also great because this is the first time Bill had met Olivia too! My second favorite thing about our week away was snuggling with my nephew Finn- he is such a cutie. His personality is so different from my girls, it was neat to watch them all interact. Finn pretty much followed Lauren around all week. This took some getting use to for Lauren but when the vacation was over and I ask her what her favorite part was she said sleeping in a room with Olivia and Finn- I thought that was so awesome! And Olivia, she just spent the whole week wanting to be wherever the big kids were- and playing with whatever they had, much to their annoyance. 

All three kids enjoying a bounce on Aunt Shauna's air mattress Thanksgiving night.

Matt stayed only for the weekend, and then him and my brother-in-law headed back home Sunday to go back to work that week, while the rest of us enjoyed the whole week together. Before we knew it, Thursday evening was upon us and back home we headed. Friday I spent doing laundry, organizing, and repacking. Because off we were again. That weekend we were headed north for a wedding. Thanks to my wonderful friend Esther, who watched both kids for us overnight, Matt and I got to get away to celebrate the wonderful marriage of a great friend. Natalie was my mentee when she started teaching and now she's in her seventh year of teaching and even though she has moved to the northern part of the state I still hold our time teaching together so close. Her friendship is so cherished. Her now husband, also Matt, is wonderful as well. I love weddings more than ever as I take the time to reflect on my marriage and friendship with my Matt. It was so nice to have some quality couple time too. It was a two and a half hour ride up and over three hours home due to crazy weather conditions. We spent the time talking, laughing, and being goofy with each other. Giving thanks for our girls and all the blessings we have. Taking a moment and remembering what life was like before two girls took our attention away from each other and on to them was just what we needed. The wedding day/night was filled with laughing and enjoying all my old teacher friends. Some of whom I get to still see regularly but rarely all together. They are a goofy bunch. It's been a long time since I'd stayed up and out that late!

 All the teacher friends with the bride.

 Matt and I

Natalie and I - what a beautiful bride!

As I was walking down stairs from Lauren's boo-be-button episode I felt like I completely understood and identified with her frustration. All she wanted to do was see her belly button- a simple task. But as she set out to complete it things got in the way and muttered up what was to be a fun adventure. That is how almost every task has been this holiday season. Here are the ways this holiday season has been a little more frustrating then normal...

-I went with the girls on a Tuesday morning to get our Christmas tree because I couldn't bear to wait until the following weekend and have it up for a mere two weeks. We get to the tree place only to find it was all gated up, closed, no one around. The sign read open on Tuesdays starting at 10, my clock read 11:15- what's going on. So we turned around and headed home. I told Lauren we'd eat lunch and give the place a call after lunch. When I called the co-owner picked up to tell us how sorry he was, that he had misplaced his keys and that is why he wasn't there earlier. So we headed back after lunch only to have both kids fall asleep in the car and for me to pick the tree out all by myself. Not really the fun experience I had pictured in my head. But I kept my thoughts positive, and my spirits high. Nothing good would be accomplished from me being a Grinch.

-Life continued to be busy so fast forward to Friday night. Lauren was at church for Parents Night Out- enjoying dinner, craft, a movie, a magician, and Santa while we enjoyed Olivia and all her cuteness. I decided we'd put the lights on the tree so that when Lauren got home she would see them and be all excited. I tending to our very mobile little girl as Matt hangs up all six strands of light onto the tree only to find out five out of the six no longer work. Lots of efforts for nothing but a garbage can full of broken lights. Again I kept my thoughts positive, and my spirits high- we'll get the nice new LED lights that should last us at least another ten years! Nothing good would be accomplished from me being a Grinch.

Ultra cuteness known as Olivia the red nosed reindeer!

-Saturday arrives and I was planning on making Christmas cutout cookies with Lauren and decorating the tree. What do I wake up to? I wake up feeling like pooh!!! I spent the whole day getting each task done, but wishing I was in bed and not feeling like a sick lady. But again I continued to keep my thoughts positive and my spirits high. The cookies did get baked, although mostly by me since Lauren elected to go with Matt and Olivia to Target to buy new Christmas lights. And the tree got decorated, even though I sat on the couch and directed Matt and Lauren. It was so cute as she asked with each ornament "Does this one need a sturdy branch Mama?" Nothing good would be accomplished from me being a Grinch.

 Cookies baked and awaiting frosting - that is a Christmas Eve task, as we prepare for Santa's arrival

The Tree is done!

-About midweek I had started having severe pain when I nursed Olivia on my left side. I had also gotten my first blocked duct with her. After emailing our pediatrician, who is a lactation consultant, and going to the lactation center near us I learned I had developed a nipple bleb. Not. fun. But I was keeping my thought positive and my spirits high. I was praying a lot and gritting my teeth too. Nothing good would be accomplished from me being a Grinch.

-Then last night. We headed to see Santa. After much debate was to when strategically it would be best to do it, we headed out after a quick dinner. As we left rain drops fell upon the deck. Oh goodness. We get there and it is pretty much a downpour. I run inside with Olivia and find out that they've given all the passes out already but if we hung around we will still be able to see Santa around 8:15 or so. We shopped and looked around for over an hour and then Matt stood in line for another 45 minutes while I took the girls to different activities they had set up for the kids to be entertained. We got our picture (in such cute coordinating dresses given to us by my aunt) and Lauren informed Santa that she wanted "Some trains." We came home soaked to the bone at 9:05 pm (a little late for our girls) but I kept my thoughts positive and my spirits high. The girls were so well behaved for the circumstance in which they just endured and we learned to go earlier next year. Nothing good would be accomplished from me being a Grinch.

So cute!

So today was I enjoyed snuggling with the girls as we let movies play on the television all day and I reminded myself once more that this season is about God and His eternal gift of life and love given to us in the form of a humble baby, born in a barn. Yes, each of the crazy encounters we had could have us moaning and groaning, but then what would we be teaching Lauren and Olivia. We'd be teaching them that if things don't go as planned and that if life doesn't always fall in our favor that we behave like brats who think the world should revolve around them. When in fact our world revolves around a loving Heavenly Father. And when we keep our eyes on Him then we will have faith in the truth of His redeeming love. Life might not always fall into place exactly how we expect it too, but it's not about us. In the big picture- we have a beautiful, fragrant Christmas tree adorned with lights that remind us of the starry night that shown the night Jesus was born, and ornaments that each hold a special meaning as we watch them dangle from the branches. We have yummy cookies waiting to be special treats for us and Santa on Christmas Eve. We have two beautiful girls, who are full of life, love, and joy this holiday season. Whose dreamy eyes await to see what each new day will bring. So as I held each girl this week during nap time and today, I have reminded myself of all the blessings and all the happiness that surrounds our family this holiday season and beyond. So Merry Christmas to you and many blessings this holiday season!!

 And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
 for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
 He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

Luke 1:46-55

Our Fall Picture Book

Apple picking with the youth from church!

We all had fun!

 Lots of fun school activities, we're slowly making our way through the alphabet and the Bible.

 Fall Festival at church- fun on the bouncy house in the cold rain.

 Grandma and Grandpa B came to visit and enjoyed some fun at the park for another fall festival.

 Great trip to the zoo with Esther, Caitlyn, and Evan.

 Olivia enjoyed the zoo too!

 Fun in the backyard.

 Olivia's first Halloween. Only the cutest elephant I've ever seen.

 The whole family. Olivia Jean - Elephant; Lauren Shea- Shark

 Olivia finding the candy in Lauren's bag to be irresistible! 

 Saturday family fun at the park. Look who loves the swings.

 Two goofy girls.

 Children's Museum fun with Esther, Caitlyn, and Evan.

 Taking a break with Ellie while she army crawls around the living room. 

 Lauren and Daddy enjoyed building a car at Lowe's build and grow.

 Just one goofy girl dancing to her favorite song "Speak Life" by TobyMac

 "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
Proverbs 24:3-4

It's About Time!

It's About Time...that I made time to sit down and catch up on some wonderful blogs I follow and write down what's been going on here in our house. So with peanut butter covered graham crackers and some warm apple cinnamon tea it's time to write!

So here it is mid-November and I've been preparing for my little girl to turn three. With all her silliness and her ever encroaching desire for independence she is becoming quite the little/big girl. This fall had us in a few "phases" of toddlerhood I'm happy to see pass with the leaves. We've entered into the time when her body doesn't need a nap everyday but she still requires downtime. It took us some trial and error but we've worked out a system that works for us. She spends 1 hour in her bed (where sometimes she does in fact fall asleep) and then I set the timer for 1 hour of quiet playtime in her room. This allows me the time to get stuff done without kids in toe and it has also helped her grow. See, along with struggling at naptime she was also struggling with entertaining herself. Now there was 'once upon a time' when she would do her own thing and I could get something done in those 20 minutes before she was interested in my attention again but for some reason that capability seemed to disappear. She was very demanding and it was very exhausting. It seemed worse once Matt got home from work. It was like we couldn't even have a conversation without her needing someone to be paying full attention to her. It was a constant struggle because although we would give her good quality attention it was never enough. You pair that with less and less napping and we were exhausted each day- she was plain tuckered out and so were we. I think the hour of alone playtime in her room each day has given her time to grow in using her own imagination and seeing how fun it is when you're 'in charge' of your time, space, ideas, etc. I'd be very interested in hearing if other moms have gone through this stage of toddlerhood before.

I tell you I was up in arms more days than not. It was during the time when I was watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie on the tv at night and reading through the book series. I would watch/read it, and I know that it is tv and not real life, but still, I would watch it and read through the books and think to myself, back then it was like the kids worked for the parents and in my life I felt like I was working for her. I would say "Lauren, it is not mommy's job to entertain you all day- you need to give me time to do my work." And I knew it was hard for her to understand but as she's growing and learning I'm seeing a change and a difference. I don't want you to think I just sent her to the corner of the house as I propped my feet up and scrawled on my Facebook homepage- no I was doing things like house chores or dinner. I think my lack of blog posts lately can speak to this ever busy mama. And another added point I need to add is, I do let Lauren help with my tasks and sometimes that is great- but I can't do that with every chore, everyday- it's just not possible. 

Needless to say we're making lots of progress in this area. Me taking back my well needed down time for my stuff/sanity and her being directed to spend time alone has helped out everyone. One of my favorite parts of the day now is going up to get her when the timer goes off and check out what she's done in her time. She loves giving me a recap of the things she created, played with, and enjoyed and I love hearing it. Now...how to help Matt and her with bathtime...this is our next hurdle!

Isn't it funny, this motherhood thing?! My sense of humor has stayed very active as I've navigated the last three years. One funny joke I've been telling Matt and friends these day is how when Lauren was Olivia's age (~9 months) I thought I was rocking this mommy thing. She was well behaved, sweet, and doing all the things she should be doing- achieving her physical, emotional, and developmental milestones just like the books said. I was wondering what I was doing right, but I had it all figured out- HA! Not! My good friend Garrett said it perfectly to me one day when my nerves where fried and my hair seemed to be falling out at an exponential rate, "I once thought if I did everything right as a mother then I would produce this perfect, well rounded child who do would all the right things- but then I learned that isn't how it works." So true and such great advice. Because in the end they have free will and they're going to use it just like we do. 

I've been making the parallel in my head these days that toddlerhood is just a glimpse of the teenage years. They struggle to push you away and figure it out on their own. They can be unpredictable and throw a tantrum and then turn around to hug and snuggle you with warmth and affection moments later. They seek to see the world on their own but need you near to help them make sense of it all. Then I watched this internet video of a woman, Sally Clarkson and she said the same thing. I was like "this is a God thing!" I had been lead to her through Facebook- a friend from back home had posted something about her and I clicked the link and just couldn't stop reading. My heart was lead there by God because everything I was reading was making my heart fill with His love in a way only He can. You should check her out. I've since ordered on of her books on Amazon and I'm waiting so patiently for it to arrive any day now. She is all about helping women and mothers find their role of raising God loving, God fearing children. I'm looking forward to how God is going to use her wisdom to help me be the best God loving, God fearing mommy I can be.

So the little one, no I didn't forget about her. Oh Olivia. I can't get enough of her these days. She is just the happiest little girl ever. I'm enjoying her sweetness and the phase of life she's in. Right now it is a nice time and I'm soaking it all up. She wakes up smiling, is easy going, takes two naps both about 2-3 hours each. She is content in almost all of the hussle and crazy as well as the slow and mundane. She squeals with delight and screams with joy. She eats what's put in front of her (for the most part). She's getting better at remaining relatively still during diaper changes- even though yesterday she flipped over on me and then proceeded to mark her territory, if you know what I mean, for the first time in a long time. Right now she's my easy one- but I know that it has nothing to do with my magical mommy mojo- and soon enough she'll be running around like a crazy girl too. Speaking of "running" she's on the move- slowly she will army crawl herself to a desired object. Last night she popped herself up from her belly to her bum- but she has yet to repeat that move. I was so happy and lucky that I was watching as it happened. So much fun! The best part of watching her 'move' about is seeing her personality in the way she does it. She will take four or five rests on her way to wherever she's going- oh she's going to be my doddler. No rush or sense of urgency in her, which right now works to my advantage but I see so many, many ways this quality will not be so sweet in the future. But she's the most perfect Olivia Jean ever and I wouldn't want her any other way.

I say that to my girls all the time: 'God made you to be the most perfect Lauren Shea and Olivia Jean and I'm so lucky to enjoy you' or 'thanks for being you'. They're so much fun and even though most days I'm too drained to do much more than park my fanny in front of the tv, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even though I've spent the last few days in zombie mommy mode due to sleep deprivation and a sick baby I won't have wanted to spend my days doing anything else. 

These days also have us doing some different things at church. We've been reading through the book The Story. It is the bible turned into novel form so that you're able to see the story of God and His love unfold more seamlessly than if you were to pick up the bible and read it. It is the actual words straight from the bible. It has been great. I've learned so much by seeing the Old Testament in this story format. Matt and I are going through the book in our Sunday School class and then I lead the high schoolers through it on Wednesday night. Wednesday night have been different around here too- in a good way. Our church turned this bible study into a family night format. So every Wednesday we head to church when Matt gets home and we eat dinner there. For an extravert like me its so much fun to have dinner with all of our church family regularly. Then after dinner we break off into small groups to do the study. Since Matt and I do it on Sundays, Matt is the helper in the nursery and I'm able to lead the high schoolers. Then Lauren goes to the preschool class and Olivia chills with Matt in nursery. It's been great having the whole family going on Wednesday. Its been a welcomed change. It is however mighty challenging getting everyone in our family feed in a half hour, so we get there early in order to give the little ones, and ourselves, enough time to enjoy the yummy food and fellowship. It's also great to give up cooking one night a week and enjoy playing with the girls during the time I'd usually be preparing dinner.

As life keeps going by faster, I keep trying to keep up with it all. So much going on and so much waiting for us ahead. I really hope I can keep my feet on the ground and my head attached as I enjoy this journey and all the blessings of God that surround us. Here's to all the fun and crazy!

"Blessed are those who find wisdom,
    those who gain understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver
    and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies;
    nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
    in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
    and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her;
    those who hold her fast will be blessed."
~Proverbs 3:13-18~

Big Red

So here it is Monday and I'm just getting around to writing a post about three weekends ago. I haven't been blogging as much these days and it kills me that so many memories aren't get "archived." Sometimes I look back on old posts and I'm so grateful I wrote them since without them that memory might have set sail to the part of my brain in which memories don't come out of. I was just laughing last night that I'm going down in my old age with full understanding that I'll have some form of dementia- and I feel for my poor girls who will have to deal with their batty mom who can't remember her own name. Anyway, my whole purpose in blogging is to keep track of all the blessings God gives us and each moment with these girls is a blessing. 

Like how Lauren is ALL about being a little mommy these days. She has been dressing up her lovies (stuffed animals) in pj's and clothes and taking them places in her "car." Packing bags of food for them and feeding them. She is just so sweet and cute I can't get enough of it. And the things she says...her vocabulary astounds us. And Olivia is just all sorts of crazy. The other day in the car while we were out and about running errands she was in her seat flailing her arms and legs around in a circular motion screaming and having this little conversation with Lauren and I. I just couldn't get enough of it- I was laughing and carrying on, right back at her. Or the moment the other day when she was on the bathroom floor, while I helped Lauren out, and she got herself stuck in the corner- since she's in the part of crawling where she just pushes herself backwards across the floor frustrated she's moving further away from her desired object- and she was screaming and rocking back and forth trying to figure her way out of this predicament. Any day now she'll be crawling  I can feel it in my bones- yikes! Somedays I just want to wear a video helmet archive it all and then we have our moments of crazy and I'm glad that wasn't caught on camera ;-).

So back to a few weekends ago, because that is when we became the "Minivan Family." The iconic suburb home fully equipped with a minivan in the driveway. That isn't the part I want to "archive" though. I want to look back and remember God's hand in it all. This is a case of hindsight being 20/20.

So it all started WAY back when Matt and I decided it would be financially best to pay off our car loan on the Pilot early. Now full props to Matt who had brought up the idea and about a month or so later it occurred to me that Matt's train of thought was best (which is usually the case, but don't let him know that ;-) He helped me to realize that with the economy the way it is right now our savings account was not making us much money and that to pay off our car loan was really saving us money. This is because the interest rate on our loan was greater than the interest rate on our savings account. Plus, he was still at his old job and paying off that loan meant more money for our monthly budget, which at this point was very much needed. So we put a chunk of money towards the loan and paid it off early. 

After doing this, we still took part of the money we were using to pay the car loan each month and opened a new savings account and put a portion of that money into it so we could start saving for a down payment for a 'new to us' car, when the time was right. Because at this time we didn't see the need for a new car for a few years.

Then months later we were very blessed by God and some loved ones. We were able to pay off Matt's loan completely, leaving us with one one student loan payment. Mind you this was totally unprompted by us- we were approached and didn't ask anything of others. Matt and I both fully believe it was our choice to attend college and assume the debut associated with a four year degree. We had full intentions of paying for these loans ourselves. God had another plan though. Very shortly after having Matt's loan taken care of mine was too. This is a blessing I can say without a doubt is the Lord's doing. Matt and I have diligently been paying off student loans since graduating. We started with four loans, two each. We paid off two before having Lauren, when we were a two income house. The two remaining were manageable and plugging away we would have paid them off but to have them taken care early a miracle beyond words. This freed up the funds needed, without even knowing we needed them. In fact, I have a vivid memory after we were approached about helping us out and saying to God- "You must know something I don't- because we're doing okay right now, You're providing for our needs- why do we need more?"

You see we had the Pilot and a four door sedan, both in good working order, nothing wrong with them. That was until Olivia was born. I know that may seem silly, since both of those cars work just fine with two kids, but here's the kicker- when Brooke is around that brings us up to three kids. And if we're lucky enough God will bless our family again (Lord knows I'd love a van full).

The Pilot seemed SO big, until you put three car seats in there. First off with two kids in car seats in the middle row you can't get to the back row unless you climb through the back. So each time I watched Brooke, I would crawl into the back with her- my butt on full display was I buckled her in. Then add a double stroller into the mix. Plus, in order to give Brooke her much needed leg room, I had to move the passenger seat all the way forward, move the middle row seat all the way forward and then she didn't look like an elf stuffed into a too small box. It wasn't horrible, but it just showed us that a minivan was in our future. And the same goes with vacations/trips. Yes, the Pilot fit all of our stuff but we are busting at the seams, especially when we had a little baby that requires so much stuff- it gets better once they're older and I've become a better packer as I've realized what is needed and what can be lived without. But again all signs pointed to a minivan in our future.

Now I'm going to send you back some years. When I met Matt he was driving his family hand-me-down 1988 Dodge Caravan. He's been a minivan man since I've known him. He has been all about a roomie minivan since we were talking babies. So he was on board when I was screaming "minivan" the first time I tried to put three car seats into the Pilot. 

We are not frivolous people so we did not run out and buy a minivan just to accommodate me driving around with three kids when I watched Brooke. I began praying for our next car and what it might be. Praying for God's timing in this decision. We live on one income- two years ago I would have told you we'd be sporting the same two cars for years to come, knowing full right we couldn't afford a new car any time soon. But then God provided in a way only he can. 

We did kind of set a time frame for the new potential car- we were flexible knowing God's timing would be best. When we first talked about it- we were thinking some time in 2014. As things fell together financially though it seemed that it might happen sooner. So things get better- as they always do when God's hand is in it. So here's the cherry on top and sprinkles all over part! We had set a date for Matt's parents to come down and enjoy the girls while we enjoyed some time to ourselves for our anniversary. And as everything worked out the perfect van came into the scene. It was all we desired and more. It was a gift from God delivered at such a time as we could take care of everything kid free. God even provided babysitter so that we could spend then many hours at the dealership without our little loves in toe. That was beyond my imagination wonderful!

I needed to write this. I needed to achieve His working in Our lives. He blesses us beyond our imagination. We were just hoping for a car to better suit our growing family and he didn't just give a four wheels and a payment. No HE provided the money for the car, a newer car that will last for years, a car that fit not only our list of needs but our list of wants too. 

So here she is "Big Red." The car my kids will remember at their childhood minivan. May many fun memories be made in this car. May many great trips be enjoyed in this car. May God's hand always remain as part of this car so that we will be safe and protected every time we're in it. May it always remain a symbol to us of how God will provide!

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-- to the glory and praise of God" Philippians 1:9-11

Just a moment...

I have just a moment to write a quick recap of the funny that is our lives. So here I go...

Today I had Brooke, so with all three kids in tow I headed to the library to pick up some books I had on hold. After the library we headed to the park to meet Esther and kids. Now I was running a few minutes early, yes you read that right and no I have no idea how I managed that, so I decided to make a right out of the library parking lot to see if I could find a different, faster route to the park. And that I did. I was very pleased with myself and arrived to the park early too! 

So I had almost everything unloaded (it's quite a comical mess of stuff that comes with us when we head to the park, especially on days like today when we were going to eat lunch there) when Esther and her two cuties pulled up. This is when the crazy really started. Olivia was on the verge of a nice morning nap but was needing a little extra help so I was holding Brooke in my arms, while I rocked the stroller back and forth to calm Olivia. Lauren was reading her Thomas book in the front seat of the double stroller. I was standing in the parking lot running my mouth with Esther while she unpacked her kiddos. She was only half way done when the first bee showed up. He was buzzing around my water bottle. I was not excited to see him and, while trying not to panic, I quickly walked away to see if that would send him on his merry way. Well it didn't. It's hard enough to push the double stroller with two kids in it when you have two hands on the handle, but I'm freaking out with one kid on my hip and only one hand for the stroller. At this point I had quickly given up on trying not to panic and I'm pretty much standing in the middle of the parking lot dancing to try and get the bee to go away, who is now swarming me.

Esther watching this wonderful sight tells me to put Brooke down and she'd come get her. So I listened as I keep one keen eye on Mr. Bee. He leaves my side only to head back to the stroller. OH. NO. YOU. DON'T. buster- so I swoop in and grab the stoller- thankfully now with two hands and rush it out of the way. Then he's back flying around me- so I find myself dancing like a fool trying to get him away again. It was one for America's Funniest Home Videos. I think I had the winner and Esther will verify it. Finally we lose the bee and the man in the car watching this whole show was rolling his eyes I'm sure.

So all kids ready to go and Mr. Bee is now gone off to bother someone else. Now we're ready to play, or so we thought. We make our way over to the playground and I notice how nice a desolate it is. Oh how I love it when we're the only ones at the park- it makes it so much more fun for me since I have two kids running off in two different directions and I'm trying to push the stroller around and keep my head on straight. 

Well we start playing and it isn't even ten minutes and Mr. Bee and his friends are back. That's right he brought his friends to partake in the fun too. Are you kidding me!? This was a bit much. We attempted to go to the nature center at this park, but no luck since it didn't open for another hours. I looked at Esther and I said- hey lets hit the road this is crazy, and she agrees 100%. So we head back to the cars and as we approach I notice my car is being swarmed by at least four bees. Great, how am I going to get the kids in the car and myself and the stuff without letting a bee in or getting stung?!?! 

Well this is another one for the video archives. I pretty much open the back hatch- toss Brooke in, close the hatch fast. Open Olivia's door, toss her in and close the door. Open Lauren's door, toss her in and close the door. Open the passenger door toss my arm full of stuff in and close the door. I put my stroller in Esther's van- since for whatever reason there didn't seem to be as many bees around her and then jump into the car myself. I then proceed to climb all over the place inside the car to buckle everyone into the car seats, praising God for not allowing any bee in the car and no one getting stung.

So the fun doesn't end there. Esther pulls out of the parking lot first as we head back to my house to enjoy playing in my 'bee free' backyard and eat in my 'bee free' house. When she leaves the park she heads towards the highway like she's going to her home, so I drive fast to get ahead of her so she doesn't take us out of our way. Well the way she took us, I quickly realized, lead us right to my new, fast, awesome route past the library. Excitedly I get in front of her and lead her down the first road. While I'm driving on it I suddenly realize that I can't remember the name of the road I need to turn onto. Mind you we're in a housing, subdivision area so there are lots of small roads so I was easily confused and got us going all over the place.

I tell you I just started laughing. I didn't know what else to do. I had no idea how to get us out of this subdivision and the whole excursion of heading to the park had been one big trip to the goofy house. Lauren in the back seat kept saying "Mommy, what you laughing for?" and I just kept replying I'm laughing at all the crazy, mommy doesn't know what else to do so I'm laughing.

After many wrong turns and one uey, we finally made it to a road I recognized, which wasn't far from where we had intended on going. So all was well. We got to our house, enjoyed a few minutes of fun outside before the lunch bus started, then it was a few minutes more of play and time to say goodbye to our friends and start the nap routine. 

It was a crazy afternoon and oh if they had a video camera pointed at me today it might have been worth a watch...well at least for the parking lot scene. 

Amen for a sense of humor and for perspective on what really matters, that we all arrived back home, safe, sound and in one piece.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25

Here we go again...

Okay, I had a week free of cloth diapering. I desperately needed a break since they were inducing anxiety attacks every time I would wash a load and find more mold. If you missed the beginning of this saga you can read about it here. So after one week away I was ready to try again to conquer the mold once and for all.

So what I did. Well I walked away and that was the first big thing that helped. Then I talked to a wonderful friend at church, Kathy. She cloth diapered all of her children when she was raising them (many moons ago) and asked her what to do and the first thing out of her mouth was "Borax." This was already an avenue I was thinking about so I jumped on it. First I googled it and then I purchased it and many days later I felt motivated to try it out. 

In my google search I read that you can mix vinegar and Borax together and no nuclear explosion would occur so I decided that the combination together would give me a better chance at killing the mold spores. So I filled up my bathtub with the hottest water my tap would create, then a poured a fair amount of Borax into the tub. The directions said one cup for every gallon of water but I was not going to be exact since that seemed like a lot of effort for such a big task. I let it dissolve and put my cleaning gloves on and swished the water around. Then I took my vinegar and dumped a bunch in, again not an exact amount. Then I threw in the inserts and the two diapers that were affected. At this point I realized I could ruin the diapers but didn't care since to me they were no good anymore moldy so might as well see if this worked. I soaked them for a while and then went through and squeezed them/hand washed them in the solution. 

From there I tossed them into the washer and put them through the wash cycle. Then I removed them from the washer and took them to my kitchen sink. Here I went through them with a "fine tooth comb" or more literally a toothbrush. I poured straight bleach on any and all of the black spots I could find. I would say over 80% of the inserts were affected with at least one black spot and of that about 10% were pretty bad. It took me about an hour to do this and my head was spinning, most likely from the fumes. After this I put them through the wash again with a second rinse cycle. Then I hung the two diapers up and put all the inserts in the dryer on high for 40 minutes. After taking them out of the dryer I inspected each insert for any spots and found none. I then stuffed the diapers. 

I plan to start using them again on Monday. Today we were out of the house the whole morning at the church workday and then tomorrow we have church all morning and then we plan on going to the pumpkin patch in the afternoon- and there is no rush in my mind. 

My friend Heather gave me the idea of separating the poop diapers from the pee diapers in two different wet dry bags. This would help me to see if it is the poop that is causing it by inspecting them prior to putting them into the washer to see if I see any mold on them. For the most part now though, Olivia has been having solid poop so I don't think this will be necessary. Plus, I still plan on using the flushable liners until I'm confident that the mold is gone for good. 

So Tuesday will be the day of reveal since that is when I'll wash diapers. I will hopefully be following up with good news!

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:10-12

Giving my Hubby some props

So if you follow my blog at all, then you know that I've been working on changing my perspective and being the person God intended me to be. One way I've been doing this is by intentionally showing my husband how much he truly means to me. You know how it is, in the hussel and bussel of the day and in the stress of life's moments it's a lot easier to get caught up in the crazy- and forget to really lift up and support our spouses the way we should. Why it seems so much easier to do it with the little ones and not our spouses sometimes baffles me. So here I am lifting him up and sharing with you:

TOP TEN LIST:
TOP TEN REASONS MY GUY IS THE BEST...

10. He does the dinner dishes! 

9. How he tolerates my backseat driving and even jokes about it, I know I'm working on this one ;-)
8. The way he's a big goofball and just does the silliest things with the girls and me 
7. When he holds my hand in church as we listen to the sermon
6. The way his hug can melt away the rest of the world and make me feel safe and loved
5. His ability to be selfless- and put others first without hesitation 
4. Helping me out all. the. time. with our crazy life - he's a great partner!
3. Being a great father to our two girls- everytime I catch an 'outsiders' view of him with them it makes me fall in love with him all over again
2. Being able to make me laugh, really laugh, even when I'm tired and cranky
1. Loving me unconditionally, daily and sharing this journey with me

Finding the EXTRAordinary in the Ordinary!

I caught myself the other day. I caught myself being a nag. I don't like that I can get that way. I feel like I just need to get EVERYthing done at this one moment and it can't happen fast enough so I start nagging those around me. I find myself struggling to juggle it all. And am I surprised? NO! I can't get it all done and there isn't a human being on this earth that can, so why I hold myself to a higher standard is beyond me. So when I caught myself I turned my head up and said "God help me. Help me PLEASE."

As I was picking up the house later that day I was thinking how blessed I am and God did helped me that day. He helped me to give my house a look over with a different perspective. So as I watched the "tumble weed" of fur float under my feet and I thought what a blessing it is to have those. Those wonderful bundles of fur that litter our floor regularly are signs that a sweet, loving cat lives here. And she's such a snuggly good cat. Those fingerprints on the back door are reminders that a sweet toddler lives here and how she loves to run and see daddy at the back door when he gets off work. The crumbs of past meals that have taken up residence under the table are just God's little reminder of meals eaten, shared, and enjoyed. Dirty dishes too! The wipes and diapers and saliva soaked toys make me think of the giggly baby fast asleep upstairs. The piles of socks, underwear,  pants, and shirts remind me of my loving, wonderful husband who works hard to be the best he can be for us. The rumpled bed sheets remind me of a peaceful, restful nights sleep. 

I'm blessed beyond measure. After I called Matt to apologized for being the "nagging wife" I made sure I thanked him for all he does, day in and day out for our family. I prayed that God would help me lift him up and say thanks more regularly for all that he does do. In fact, later the next day he laughed and said something about how I've been praising him a lot. 

My life didn't change, but my perspective sure did. 

Yes, maybe it's taking us two weeks instead of one to get through our school stuff for 'E' week, but what a joy it is to have Brooke over our house. To give her a safe, fun place to enjoy her days while her parents are hard at work. What joy she brings to us! Helping us learn to share and having a friend to play with.

I might not get it all done, but what is most important is that we are happy. I saw that this past Friday. When I didn't feel like making another meal and then cleaning it up I was hoping to find a friend to go out to lunch with. Esther was busy packing to head out of town, Robin was busy with prior plans, and Matt had too much going on at work. I drove home bummed, but then I was blessed beyond measure as I ate with my two girls. Lauren helped me prep the food and helped with the clean up. She rinsed every dish in the sink so I could put away what was clean in the dishwasher and then all the dirty dishes were ready to load. It didn't feel like a chore at all. Perspective.

May you God always open my eyes to show me the many blessings that surround me and remind me to take a breath and enjoy each moment on this earth. Life isn't perfect and neither am I, so Lord I ask that you guide my days so that they are exactly how you would have them, finding joy in each 'imperfection.' My house might not be the cleanest but it's filled with life- your life breath fills this house with each loving member in it. Thank you for my family and thank you for loving us in a special way only you can. I ask for your hands to hold and protect us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Scrumptiousness

So what's been going on around here? Lots and little. We've been keeping busy enjoying our cooler days together as a family but not too many big things happening- can I hear an Amen! The last few weekends have been blessed with time to enjoy our home and each other. Last two weekends I've done lots of cooking. For church, for us, and for fun!

So what have I been cooking? Lots these days since our littlest one is in full swing of solids and finger foods. Oh do I have some money saving tips for all of you who are also doing the solid thing with your little ones. First, naturally baking things yourself is lots cheaper than buying them at the store pre-made- I know this is a given. In fact, when I started staying home I asked a dear family friend, who stayed home when her daughter was little (now she's a freshman in college, yikes) and she told me baking things herself instead of buying pre-made stuff is one of the biggest ways she saved money. It's pennies to whip up your own blueberry muffins and dollars to buy them at the store. So one of the things I was making was muffins. I found this yummy blueberry oat recipe in one of my Pampered Chef cookbooks. I was looking for something with a little less sugar than my MIL's wonderful, taste like cupcakes, melt in your mouth recipe- very hard not to be glutinis with those bad boys on your counter. Then this week I made pumpkin muffins- lots of sugar but so yummy! Olivia has loved them both. She enjoys anything she can pick up herself and put in her chubby cheeked mouth! She's been enjoying banana, peaches, and pear chunks. Also a favorite is Gerber Puffs, cheerios, and cracker pieces. She still prefers her veggies over fruit and will eat up her pea, carrot, or green bean puree with a big smile and moans of happiness.

So money saving tips for baby food. First you need to get yourself an immersion blender. I asked for one for Christmas last year after Esther informed me that they are great for making baby food and oh yes they are, but we'll get to that in a minute. Instead of buying small, expensive jars of baby food, I purchase cans of adult food and blend them. Go down the can food aisle in your store and look for the can of peas and green beans that says No Salt Added on the can. Check the ingredients label and you'll see that the only ingredients are water and peas (or green beans). Once you're home you open the can, dump it into the little cup that comes with the blender, pop it in the microwave for a minute or two (depending on the power of your microwave) take it out and blend it. Voila- you've got baby food at a fraction of the cost! I've found that you need most of the water in the can for the peas to have a good consistency but drain most of the water off for the green beans. For carrots, I just buy the baby carrots, boil them in a pot on the stove until fork tender, put them in the cup with a little water from the pan and again yummy baby food for lots less. 

I've microwaved apple slices until they are tender and I've also made homemade applesauce too. I can't wait to try squash this fall and my next shopping trip will include sweet potatoes. 

You can store them in the fridge or buy ice cube trays and freeze it. One cube is 1 oz. of food. That makes it easy. I freeze the fruit but not the veggies since she just has a spoonful at lunch and then again at dinner until that veggie is gone- which is less than a week, so I skip the freezing step. I also mashup banana for breakfast or now I just give them to her in little chunks. Sometimes, to get her fruit in, I mashup a small bit of banana and mix it with pear or peach for breakfast or lunch. If you need more instruction than this a great website is Wholesome Homemade Baby Food. I got that from Brooke's mom- there are some neat ideas there. I use a handful of cookbooks my MIL picked up at garage sales too.

She likes to make a big mess of herself but it is with joy and lots of paper towel that we clean her grubby face up!

Also on the topic of food is school! On C week we made cake for Daddy's birthday and then this week our bible story is Moses and the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus) so I found a fun craft on Pinterest that we made last night as Matt mowed the lawn. I got the idea from this blog. She had a great time with both fun activities. She'll tell you the best part has been eating it! She was super excited to eat up Moses- it sure beat last weeks baby Moses in a basket craft. We also made sure to enjoy some yummy eggs since it's E week. So much fun with food around here!

"Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything." Genesis 9:3

Going Bonkers

So I'm finally getting around to writing a post about how cloth diapering is going this time around. Now if it was going well...I wouldn't need to write this post and I'm also hoping and praying for a solution to my persistent and annoying issue.

First, I need to say that Olivia is a heavy wetter and we found after just a week or so of getting her up each morning with pee soaked pj's that we had to scrap the idea of using them at night. I'm sure there is some ultra absorbent thing out there, but I'm just not interested in purchasing it so we've resorted to putting her in a disposable pampers at night. One diaper a day is no biggie and it is just easier all the way around.

Now onto my issues, well not my issues per-say- we could be here forever on that topic and I'll spare you... So about the end of July I noticed some black spots on the diapers and at first I thought nothing of it. Then one day I took off one of her diapers and the spots were very predominate and on the diaper and the insert. This is when it caught my attention that something was wrong. After further investigation I came to the conclusion that it was mold/mildew. I was HORRIFIED!!!! We are very good at caring for and tending to our diapers. We wash a load every other day and have never had a problem with it. My mind was racing with what I had done wrong. Here is a list of what I might have done, but the God's honest truth is that I have no idea what happened.

• Our clothes pins were left outside in one of the many flash rain showers we had this summer. They were then put away wet and got some mold on them. The clothes pins were then used to hang the diapers. So could it have been that?
• Olivia started solids around this time and her poop changed due to the food change so did I not do a good enough job of removing the poop and as it sat for 24 hours or so the mold took hold?
• We've kept a wet/dry bag in the bathroom downstairs- we shower in this bathroom and therefore the moisture level is higher, maybe causing the mold to have a better growing environment?
• We've had a very damp summer and I've hung the diapers outside a lot, could the mold in the air transferred to the diapers?

Now I need to say that the majority of the black mold spots are on the inserts, not the diapers. Only a few diapers have been contaminated and only one of them seems to not go away. I've done SOOOO many things to try and get rid of this issue. Here's what I've done.

• I bought new clothes pins right away.
• I started using the flushable liners to make sure the majority, if not all, the poop was being flushed away and not sitting on the diapers until wash time.
• I bleached the inserts to kill the mold- and I've done this a billion times it feels like. I've hung them outside to bleach them. I've used bleach in a soak load and then washed them and triple rinsed them. 
• I used a mixture of lemon juice and salt and hand scrubbed each spot and then let them sit for a half hour prior to washing them.
• I've put 3% Hydrogen Peroxide in the rinse cycle.
• I've put them in the dryer on High heat for 40 minutes.
• We moved the wet/dry bag out of the bathroom and into the bedroom

Now nothing has completely gotten rid of the mold. I was about to throw a holy temper tantrum this week because I'm at my wits end. I've devoted so much time and effort doing extra loads and taking extra time to try and solve the problem and no matter what I do it won't go away. 

I need to back up and say that often times when I bleach them they come out clean and look great. 99% of the mold is gone, but then I use the inserts again and when I take them out of the laundry there the spots are- taunting me. 

This morning I pulled a load of "clean" diapers out of the dryer, that when I stuffed them they looked clean to the naked eye, and 6 out of the 7 had a black spot or two or three...on them when I investigated them. I looked at Matt and said- that's it I need a break, I'm going insane over this issue and I can't take it anymore. I'm putting her in disposables until I figure it out. I can't keep doing this. Are we really saving money at this point? I mean come on.

I've found most of the "possible solutions" on message boards on the internet. I'm not the only one who has had this problem. In fact, one person put the same issue down word for word. She said how they kept coming back no matter what she did. I've also been very frustrated since the internet is the internet and some of the advice has been "don't use a pal, use a wet/dry bag" and then you read "don't use a wet/dry bag use a pail." There seems to be no solution out there.

I'm devastated that this has happened. I hate to think I've caused it but have no real way of knowing where it originated from. I hate to think I've just ruined hundreds of dollars of diapers. I hate that I'm not finding a way to make it all stop so I can continue using them. 

So if you're reading this and have heard of or have had this issue and conquered it PLEASE let me know!! I will continue to try and find a solution. In the meantime I'm going to purchase some more disposables to get us through this insane mess. Prayers are needed!

"...we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37b