A Book, A Story, Some Photos, And An Olympic Dream

So what's kept me from posting in like FOREVER!!??!! Well as the title tells you, I'm sucked into a really good book right now that I have a hard time putting down (The Eleventh Hour: The Secret of the Rose By Michael Phillips). Even writing this makes me want to curl up on the couch with a blanket and the book. But I've told myself after a week of possible posts popping up in my head that if both girls fell asleep today that I would get on here. I so desperately needed to finish the previous post (note that Olivia turned one about a month ago and I just finished the post and published it) and get some of the crazy out of my head and onto here.

Also, although we've had about three or four "Wednesday Nights" at church cancelled due to the very snowy winter this year I've been keeping up with The Story too. My eyes have been opened so much through this study. Whether I've been leading the Sunday School class, Wednesday night study with the youth, or just enjoying the Pastor's sermons on Sunday it has been really neat to watch how God's story, when read in such a way, really helps us to see His plan, His will, His desire for us, His people. I have a hard time putting this book down too. But I'm having to make myself so I don't get so far ahead that I'm not inline with all the studies and getting things mixed and mingled (as happens in my brain often).

Oh and I FINALLY got Olivia's first photo book done. The poor girl was one and she still didn't have a photo book of her own. So I was working on that and can say I have the first of four done (doesn't sound like much when I put it that way). But I'm going to get right one the second one soon (leaving again less time to blog) since I have a coupon for a free one that expires in March- sometimes the right incentive is all a girl needs. Oh but doing the book brought me back to those first three months! It's so funny how when you're not sleep deprived and nursing, what feels like 24/7, how wonderful those first three months seems. When they're so tiny and you could just hold them all day long (in the fantasyland in which I live you can do this- even with your second). In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday and in others ways I have a hard time remembering any of it- it just goes by too quick.

Then there is these gosh darn Olympic games that keep me up late and glued to the TV when I can. I'm just addicted to watching it all. I've enjoyed the new sports they've added and I love learning all about the culture of the country they're in. I don't usually have the TV on during the day but it has been on a lot in our home these days. In fact I think it was the first time ever I wished we had a TV upstairs...which other than every two years when the Olympics is on would never get used. Needless to say I'll be sad when this weekend is over and we have to wait another two years for the summer games. I think I've made an Olympic viewer out of Lauren too. She has enjoyed the special nights when she watches them with me for a few extra minutes while daddy is putting Olivia down. Her favorite is the luge and the skeleton...yikes...she likes the big icey slide. She was bummed after watching the opening ceremony with me to find that they don't have flags waving for each event, lol. Gotta love that girl. 

What else has been going on? Well we just got over a week or two of sickness. It started with me, but true to form my "Teacher Immune System" keeps me from being down and out for too long. In fact, this time around I just felt like I was going to get something bad, and was extra tired only to never have much come of it. Then Lauren, and Matt too. Lauren didn't get much more than me- except her nose was runny for a week or so. Matt, also true to form, was down and out for a week, plus. He was still able to go to work but was just done when he came home. Olivia got the worst of it, poor girl. She had a fever, runny nose, and was super tired and crabby once she spent what little energy she had. So by the end of last week I was feeling like a caged, wild animal. Matt was so sweet because he took on full time daddy duty this past Saturday and allowed me so repreve. 

So what does a girl do...oh I decided an exercise class would be a great way to get me out the house and shake the muscle atrophy from the week. Well I'm still not 100% recovered from this. I did a class I've never done before called BodyPump. I had no idea what I was getting into. First I show up a minute or two late and didn't realized I should get there early since there was equipment to set up. So while everyone is doing the warm up I'm trying to figure out what I will need. Maybe missing the warm up caused me to ache so bad...yeah that's it. Anyway, I'm keeping up pretty well, muscles burning from each move. The class pretty much does a song per muscle group. So you spend like 3-5 minutes working each of the major groups, while holding weights. It was about halfway through when she instructed us we'd need a "free weight" that I didn't have and needed to get- it was that moment when my eyes opened to the pain I was going to be in. Bless my heart. I was trying not to be obtrusive, I started walking back to get the weight and I have never in my life felt like I did in that moment- the only way to describe the way in which my muscles were acting/feeling was to call myself a robot made of jell-o. I had to look at myself in the mirror when I was walking back to my spot just to see of other people could see what I was feeling. Oh I'm laughing now, but I wasn't then. Mind you I still had the majority of the hour left. I've ached for days- I've never felt so old. I'm hoping Zumba tonight will help shake out the last of the ache that is still lingering behind, a mere five days later.

Oh I also had a wonderful evening out with some friends for dinner that night too. It's funny, sometimes when I get together with people I use to work with I feel like such an outsider. I was thinking about why that is. It dawned on my earlier this week why. When we moved here all the friends I've made since we have been here were work friends. I've made friends at church too, but not too many my own age and not many that I hang with for the sake of hanging with outside of church- except Jason and Josh- I do miss them both dearly and this is just one of the reasons. Anyway, when I decided to stay home it was something that separated me from them and it separated us from a common bond. Now, I can related in a way to their work conversations and enjoy listen to them- but I'm not part of them. This evening happened to be a night with all women who still work at one of my former schools. It was just that when they were talking about school stuff I could just listen and nod my head and then when the conversation turns to me and what I've been up to, it's like we reverse roles- I talk and they nod their heads. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed my time out, a meal I didn't have to cook, and the adult conversation, friendly faces- but it just feels different. As I was continuing to analyze the situation and try to figure out why I feel this way, it has made me realize that the two friends whom I'm relate to the most these days are my sister (who lives seven plus hours away) and Esther (whom I usually see with kids in toe) and so I don't get out with these two ladies very often without kids. I don't feel like I want more friends, I have a hard time keeping up with the ones I have but I just needed to understand why it feels different, so I can get over it and move on. And thus I have. As the World Turns...

Oh I think I could honestly write for another hour, but dinner isn't going to cook itself and these girls are like a ticking time bomb this late in the naptime, so alas I'm forced back to the crazy I love- my life!

"What is God's character like?"..."What you've asked, Matthew, is the most important question in all of life. It is the universal question. Finding the answer to those five simple words you just spoke is the only thing life is really about." ~The Eleventh Hour, Michael Phillips page 165-166

Two Brownies and A second helping

Last week we enjoyed a fabulous vacation with Matt's family at the beach, and it was great. I think a little too great since my butt and gut seem to be dragging today. The vacation worked out perfect with me missing Zumba since there was a break between sessions the week of our vacation. So, being good girl I brought my running shoes, running watch, running clothes, and did a great job at NOT RUNNING! In fact, I didn't just not run, I indulged in yummy deserts, extra helpings, and lots of sitting on my butt (read a whole book, thank you very much)! 

This combination of things has made my first class back tonight a bit of a face slap. Or maybe more of a belly fat giggle. Oh, whatever I call it, it stinks. As I was salsaing, and doing my dance moves to the familiar music I felt like that second brownie was in my blood, still slowing me down. The whole time I was jumping and moving, I was thinking - did I really need the hot dog AND the hamburger AND the... you get the picture.

Oh, goodness. Don't have my pictures from vacation on the computer yet, so the fun picture post of all the greatness that was last week will have to wait for another day. But I'm as glad for the break as I'm glad to be back to moving and grooving to the music! Did I mention I've sworn off all sweets and treats for two weeks?! Pray for me to make it!?

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Running and Praying

Two topics I have had on my heart to write about so here I go...

First praying. As a young mom I have been feeling like my "Jesus Well" is running a bit dry these days. It's hard to fit everything in everyday. There are some days I seem to have more time and others I feel like each moment is filled with something or another. I wish I could say that each day is filled with a devotional that helps to fill up my soul. I'm thinking that my 'old' way of doing things is not working for my 'new' way of life. When it was just Lauren I could rely on a few moments of guaranteed down time each day, and now I can't. Lauren still naps well and so does Olivia, but some days it just doesn't always work out. Like today. Right now everyone is down for a nap (including Brooke who is here today) but in just a few minutes I'll be getting Olivia up to nurse and then before I know it I'll be doing the dinner thing, and everyone will be up. So God has lead me to this wonderful website/ministry Proverbs 31 Ministries. Their website is even linked to Facebook, so I'm able to catch new articles and such on there as well. I'm hoping these short devotionals will bring me back to where I need to be each day, grounded in God's word. I also read a wonderful blog that reminded me that God is with us and waiting to talk to us at any moment we have to give to him. Even if that moment is while I'm folding laundry or in the shower. My devotional doesn't have to be sitting down with my book and highlighter. It can be me writing on here, reflecting on God in my life. I'm so grateful for a God who's available 24/7, 365! Amen!!

Today's article on the Proverbs 31 website  reminded me of my crazy episode last week. I was feeling very overwhelmed and very alone. We're working on learning the "Love Languages"  with the youth on Thursday nights. Well I learned my top love language is 'Quality Time.' I realized that my QT with Matt these days seems to be out the window. Hense, causing me to feel very alone. I was so frustrated one day that I just blow a gasket. I called my sister and just vented and if that wasn't enough I called Matt at work at vented to him (what a wonderful husband he is to take a moment to calm his crazy wife). I know part of it is having such high expectations for myself each day and the other part of it was missing my hubby. He's my other half, and when I don't feel connected to him I'm just off. There were too many nights of me not being home or when I was home everything was just chaotic; You other young moms know what I mean.  We need a date night, but life has been busy and babysitters are expensive. So we've worked it out. Matt has been working his hardest to get Lauren in bed by 8:30 so we have a solid hour each night that is just us before we wake Olivia to nurse one more time and then off to bed. The article used a wonderful verse that really spoke to my heart and how I've been feeling. Philippians 1:27a reminds me that I'm working for God so my actions, words, tone of voice, and attitude need to reflect that. Even when things are crazy- put it all into perspective. I mean, honestly I want crazy. I want two little kids, one on my hip the other on my leg. These girls are my world! With that said, it can be a very tiring job sometimes and when I get that way I need to remember God's gifts and promises and put it all back into perspective. 

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." Philippians 1:27a

Now, onto running- which oddly enough links right up to what I've been already talking about. I've been trying to do good with working out and running. I've only missed one Zumba class (the evening of the blown gasket I just stayed home and napped off my stress) in the past two months. I've really enjoyed the hour of fun and dance and my clothes are fitting much nicer these days. This past birthday I was blessed to get an awesome running watch (everyone pooled together in order for me to get it- how awesome is my family). In case you're wondering it is Garmin Forerunner 110. It has really helped me with running. I'm a very goal orientated person so it's really great to watch the miles fly by as I run. Okay...slowly go by...more of a jog than a run. Either way it also allows me to upload my run and keep track of how I'm doing. Which is inspiring too. 

I know I've written in the past about how I often use my jogging time to 'talk' with God and just recently I read about how God created our bodies as temples and we're to care for it as such. And how exercise is a way to glorify God because we're caring for the body He blessed us with- the one he "knit together in our mother's womb." I'm trying to remind myself that as I'm working out I'm worshiping God. Making sure I give back the glory to Him and how He's working through my exercise.

It's easier said then done. Who doesn't want to take credit for things we've done, and I'm not just talking exercise here. But that's not how it works. I'm blessed to have two working legs and a strong heart. These are things God gave me and my healthy body is a blessing from Him who created me. So when I am sluggish to get my butt off the couch or out the door I remind myself that this is a blessing to God, me caring for my body. It's also two fold- caring for myself allows me to be a better me for my husband and children. An hour of sweating off the days stress helps keep me whole for them, so I can serve them in the way that shows them Jesus' love through my actions, words, tone of voice, and attitude. 

I pray daily that all I do and say gives the glory back to the God that made me. I pray that each workout allows me to do this as well.

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Revelation 4:11

A Brief Moment

For a brief moment the house is quiet. This is the only peace I get all day and I cherish it so much. No demands being made of me, I have to involve myself in a quiet activity, and not quite time to think about dinner yet. Yesterday I spent this time writing out thank you notes and cleaning off the desk- both VIP items. Now today I decided to put off writing in Olivia's baby book, reading, or working on my cross stitch to come on here and share my ever so "interesting" thoughts.

First things first. Last night was my first night of Zumba. It was so nice to be back. I decided it's at the perfect time of night too- a 7:30 start time gives me plenty of time to eat dinner with the family and get Matt all organized for my departure. I was pretty nervous heading there- as I always am with stuff I've never done before, not knowing what to expect and all. But I loved the instructor; she was fun and vibrant and had a good variety of music and moves. One instructor I had once did the same three moves for a whole song, it bored me. It was a nice size class so it wasn't too crowded (some of the classes at the Y, during peak time, were huge and you couldn't move, not cool). I worked up a sweat and enjoyed myself. I felt energized when I got home. Too bad I couldn't say the same for Matt. Poor guy was tired to begin with (which might I add is his own fault for staying up so late Sunday night). But he fared just fine. Both girls were happy and sleepy when I got home. I told him again how grateful I am that he so graciously takes over the hardest part of the day (everyone is tired at night, and sometimes that makes for our roughest hour of the day) so I can get out a bit. I'm looking forward to going back Wednesday and looking forward to getting this booty back in shape!

I also wanted to write down some of the very awesome blessings we've received around here in this past month. I'm afraid I might forget one or two since I haven't been able to write them down but I'm going to try my hardest to remember each one!

*The first blessing is the biggest. Matt and I are still, like most people, paying off our student loans. We've been blessed by having some extreme generosity shown to us and now they will be paid off much, much faster. Because we've been diligent and put extra money towards them before kids and me staying home, they aren't too much of a financial burden to us, but having them paid off faster sure allows for our budget to have some wiggle room. It allows us to save up for extra things, like a new car or a new shed (our ever expanding family needs more storage!). This one made me cry tears of joy and thanksgiving. I can't tell you how unexpected this was and how much we appreciate it. This is not something I've been praying for, but oh God must know something we don't. I pray that Matt and I always remember the generosity that was shown to us and that we may always show the same generosity to those around us. We thank God for the gifts He has given to us through some very wonderful people, that we're very lucky to have.

*The second thing is food. I can't tell you, oh wait I can, how many people have so graciously brought us dinners since Olivia has been born. Just shy of 20 separate people have brought food for us, and this doesn't include my mom and Matt's mom who supplied us with prepared food for a week while they were here. I think I might go into shock when the food stops rolling in. The few times this past month I've had to cook, it's been a joy to do it. It has helped out with our grocery bills too. I never even thought about that, but all that extra money had gone towards diapers and creams, hahaha (read this post and you'll understand my 'funny' joke). It's also neat to see what other people make, and get ideas to spice up my dinner menu. The down side (or upside), the deserts have been rolling in too. Oh so hard to resist deserts. Hence, my extreme need for getting my butt moving with Zumba again. 

*Gifts for the girls is my third blessing. People have been extremely sweet in bringing gifts for the girls. This past month has felt like Christmas times ten. Lauren is going to be confused when people start coming over and they don't have a gift bag in their hands. We have received beautiful handmade blankets, clothes, toys, and more for the girls. And this time around I've gotten a handful of gifts for me as well. I was sad that I didn't have a shower for Olivia, sad that we didn't get to celebrate her in the same way we did Lauren and sad that she doesn't have a lot of her "own" stuff. But let me tell you I think we've gotten plenty without a shower. Olivia has gotten lots of clothes and I'm so glad she'll have stuff that is 'hers'- I know that might sound weird  but now not every picture of her will be her in one of Lauren's old outfits. I guess it's a second kid complex I have, so pardon my quirkiness. 

Just to show you how God was working in this, we went to Kohl's to return some pants I got Matt online that he didn't like (so picky) and while we were there I saw a "Little Sister" onesie. I wanted to get it since we have a "Big Sister" outfit for Lauren I thought it would be cute to have them wear them together. Well Matt said we didn't need it, and I guess I agreed it wasn't necessary. Then on Sunday one of my friends dropped off dinner and she gave me a "Little Sister" sleeper, size three months (just Olivia's size). The best part is they're both coordinating colors!! Don't worry, picture will be coming soon!

Oh, my quiet time is over. Miss Olivia is calling my name. I'll have to add a few more blessings in the next post! Until then...off to be a happy mommy!

One Fish, Two Fish

Going from one fish to two fish has been such a blessing. A double blessing! Things have been busy, busy around here, so nothing new there. I can't believe in just two days Olivia will be one month old. Where on earth did that month go? We're slowly getting into a new routine and things are settling nicely. Most days I think "Wow I'm doing this!" and then there are some days I think "Wow this is a hot mess!" No matter what though, I'm thankful and overwhelmed with joy!

This weekend, due to the generosity of loving family members, we were able to purchase a double stroller! It's huge and I love it. I had been talking about getting one for the longest time. I kept going back and fourth about needing it or wanting it. I mean Lauren is old enough to walk so I felt like my want out weighed my need so I kept putting it off. Then, however, last week I had a crazy day where I needed to have both kids in a stroller on two different occasions and I texted Matt and said "We NEED a double stroller." Another reason I was holding off is because we already owned the double jogger stroller- so would two double strollers be overkill? The answer is no, not if you have two kids! The problem is the jogger stroller is just too wide for indoor trips, so it is limiting. This is why we went Saturday to get one and then took our maiden voyage to Target on Sunday after church. Yes, we made our first trip to church as a family of four and it was great! I keep finding things to be so much easier with Olivia then they were at this stage with Lauren. It was a bit overwhelming with people surrounding us to see the baby, but then I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have the luxury of writing this post tonight because I'm pretending not to be home. Even thought a squealing little girl just came to the office door to show me how funny she was and I couldn't resist so we cheated. She had her bunny night-night shoved into her pajama leg and she thought it was the best thing ever, as she laughed and carried on about it I scooped her up and kissed her for being so frappin' cute. 

Back to me being "gone"...why am I pretending to be gone? Well you see this mommy needs her own time away from home. I wholeheartedly think it makes me a better mom, when I refuel myself with some time away. So, we're pretending I'm not here so Matt can work out the kinks of being home with both girls in the evening and not have to do it on the fly next week. So far he's doing great! He hasn't had to do much without me yet and to balance the demands of having both kids. But come next Monday I'm going to be headed to Zumba and he'll be alone for an hour and a half. I'm super excited about starting up exercise again!

I use to have a gym membership at our local YMCA. I loved taking the Zumba classes, and Pilates too. Well once I started staying home I gave up the membership to help balance our monthly budget. I started running more- which I still plan on doing but one thing at a time. Well since then I've discovered our counties parks and recreation department offers a bunch of exercise classes in the evening. It works out very nicely. I don't have to worry about babysitting since Matt is home. You pay for them each month if you want to take a class, so if we're having a tough month- I forgo the class and run more. If there is a month were we're very busy, like the summer months when we vacation, then I don't have to pay and waste money, like a gym membership. It's a pretty reasonably priced too. I took a class back in the late spring right when I got pregnant (not knowing until after the class started) but it wasn't Zumba. I liked it but I L. O. V. E. Zumba. I really feel like it helps me with my endurance and its a bunch of fun.

So here it is us trying to learn the ropes and enjoying our two little fish.

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"
~Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish