Finding Home - Part Two

Finding A Home - Part 2

James 3:17-18

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

Part 2 - Buying a new house

Wisdom is what we've needed throughout this process and God provided it. The house buying process has been just as crazy of a roller coaster ride as selling our current home. You know I remember it being more fun the first time.

When we purchased our first home we had no other home to sell. We had no children. We had no rush or timeline. We were way more naive. We found it fairly quickly and had no competition in the purchase. We were in such a different frame of mind.

Well a lot has changed since then and it has effected the process tremendously.

When we went into this whole process we had a location of our future home in mind as well as a price and size. There was also our short list of must haves: a garage, formal dinning room, 4 bedrooms, a master bath, small front yard and a more moderately sized back yard, no hills, and no corner lot. Our 'most have' list is much longer this second time around. I think the first time around our most have list was "must be a house," lol. 

Now after owning a home we see houses differently the second time around too. First, I see them with children in mind. When we purchased our first house I didn't ever think of have two of our bedrooms on the first floor as an issue until children came into the picture. In fact, it worked out nicely since the two rooms downstairs were a guest room and an office. However, once sweet Olivia came around my view changed. Also, the fact that the living room wasn't in view from the kitchen space didn't bother me until children. And then lastly the 'traffic' flow that the floor plan created didn't really bother me until kids were in tow. 

But there are things we loved about our first home as it is concerned with children. Like the fenced in backyard- ideal with children. The computer being on the same floor as the living space makes monitoring them much easier during computer time. So all of these lessons learned and future growth of both our current family members and of our family as a whole, play such a big roll this second time around. Just so many more factors to consider. 

Location, location, location. This second time I'm not budging on location. When we first moved here (states away from our 'home' state) we lived in apartments that were part of a bigger housing development. I loved that location. I loved how we could walk to things and it's proximity to our church. This was important not just for convenience sake when it came to commute time, but because we are so far from our 'blood' family that being close to our God given family holds that much more importance to us. But when we bought our first home, at the top of the market mind you, we couldn't afford this area and God didn't lead us to it either. I wish he had but His plans are not our plans (Isaiah 55:8) so we landed just ten minutes to the west. Which in all honesty wasn't far back then. But it seems more so now. I think that we're in a different school system effects us more since our children wouldn't go to school with their church friends, if God ever leads us to have them in public schools. But also it would be nice to have neighbors who we know from church or neighbors we could invited to church! Also, we're more involved in church now than we were before. I would say it is the one place I travel to the most besides the grocery store. It is a home away from home to us so to be closer makes more sense. 

So with all this in mind we began looking for homes on the internet last fall. We started seriously watching the local market and the neighborhoods we were interested in January. And we began going to see houses in person once we received a contract on our house (the story of selling our house can be found here).

The first house we looked at, looked great in pictures but then once we got into it, not so much. It's amazing to me how pictures and the act of physically going to see a house can be so different (more about that when I tell you about the house we purchased!) That first house was so small and boxy. It met the criteria on our list but it wasn't right. So we went to two more a week or so later.

Again, they seemed small. Just like I said above, the floor plan can play such a huge role in the flow of a house. So a house with the same square feet can seem to not feel like it does when you're actually in it. We saw a few houses that didn't seem to click and that is when we found out that they lady who was trying to buy our house didn't have the money and the contract fell through.  

So our house quest was temperately on hold. It's funny how God often uses music in my life to inspire me, get me through or to speak His word into my heart. Well this time it was the song "Keep Moving" by TobyMac. This song resonated in my heart through this time. I have a such a vivid memory of making the girls beds when I was yet again preparing the house for a showing and this song playing on the radio.

But before we knew it two contracts came in and we accepted one and we were back to going to see houses again.

I think the fact that we felt rushed lead us down this next road. Mike got wind of a house, in one of our desired neighborhoods, had gone up for sale at a wonderful price. It was being sold "as is" so the current owners wouldn't do any work to the house but the low price made the house look much more desirable. We were the first to see the house and put an offer in that day. This house was at the top of our square footage which was nice, more room but not the top of our budget! Just walking through it you could see it needed some much needed love. I guess it was currently owned by a married couple who didn't live together and they couldn't get along so their realtor was trying to make the process easy for them- if they sold the house "as is" they didn't have to bicker about what they could/would fix when it came time for the inspection. And we thought with the low price we'd have money to fix it up. So we forged ahead. 

The day of the inspection came and the guy we hired to inspect the house was wonderful and very detailed as he described the needs of the house. He found a lot more than met the eye. Let's just say "water, water everywhere!" We left the house still optimistic but I think we both felt like it might be more than we could handle/afford. We sent our dad's the report once we received a digital copy of it. I also sent it to a trusted friend and contractor who we would need the assistance of. 

That evening after dinner my dad was the first to call us. He began the conversation with "I think you know what I'm about to tell you..." I got off the phone with a sunken heart. I know I agreed with him that there was too much work and too much unknown about potential water damage to the structure but this house fit OUR timeline. We would be able to close on our house and this house and not need to find another temporary place to live. I looked at Matt and said "how about we call your dad and see what he thinks?" So that we did, only to hear him say with such sincerity that this house was not the house for us and he had been sick to his stomach all day thinking that we might not heed his and my dad's warning against purchasing the house (I guess they had called each other and spoke before calling us).

We were ill with the burden we were carrying. How on earth we could go against both of our fathers was unthinkable. They're both so knowledgeable about this stuff and they truly wanted the best house for us and both of them knew in they're hearts this wasn't the one. We had laid there in bed that night with no words. No words to pray but just tears as to what this all meant for our future. 

To find out what we did you'll have to go to this post and see how God provided and saw us through the process of finding temporary housing and moving forward after such a set back. But after we got out of that contract, we were off again to more showings and more houses that might fit our needs/wants and houses we were hoping would be a bit more dry! 

The night we found our "forever home" was a bit frantic. It was a Wednesday night so I had High School Bible study to get to (although it was a fun night where we went to see one of the girls play lacrosse in the playoff tournament and enjoyed ice cream.) So between Matt getting off work (5:30) and the game (6:45) we had scheduled to see two houses. The first one I wasn't too fond of. The pictures didn't wow me and the second one was at the top of our price range and the lot was on a bit of a sideways hill- not something we really liked. But now the time was ticking, we needed to find a house! So I wanted to leave no stone unturned. Plus, from past experience pictures could be misleading and I didn't want to rule anything out. 

The first house we only had a half hour to look around. I was kind of unaware of this and just figured it was our time constraint that caused the shorten time. But with three kids in tow we zoomed through the house in the blink of an eye. Overall I liked it. I wasn't sure it was quiet as "big" as we were looking for but I really liked the upstairs and the layout was nice and had a good flow. The second house however both Matt and I agreed was not the house for us. The house it self wasn't at all right for us and the slopped lot was a big yuck.

So off to the lacrosse game I went. But I couldn't get the first house out of my mind. And I couldn't get how much this process was sucking out of my mind either! Good thing I was so excited for ice cream and great fellowship, so I put the bad thoughts out of my mind. 

The whole game though I was watching, chatting and thinking about that first house. Was it really too small or was I just rushed through it? The upstairs was perfect and I liked the way the floor plan was laid out both upstairs and downstairs. The yard was a good size too and on level ground. The small front yard was nice, with mature trees and the backyard, although a bit smaller than we had hoped for would work okay and it was fenced. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. So on the way home I called my mom and dumped my ever crazy thoughts on her. She suggested we go take a second look at the house. Maybe without the kids. Such a simple idea and it never occurred to me- but yes we should. 

So I got home and once Matt and I finally got a chance to discuss the houses (aka when the kids were in sleepy land) we were both on the same page. The second house was a no go but the first house had something about it and we wanted to go see it again. So we called Mike. He said he'd call them and set up a second showing but not to hold our breaths since houses weren't staying on the market very long. Now I should have prefaced this with the fact that I was going out of town on Friday morning for my sister-in-laws baby shower and I won't return until Sunday afternoon. Now remember this was Wednesday night. So it wouldn't be until Sunday evening that we would be able to see the house again. So more waiting was in store for us since for whatever reason Thursday didn't work.

So the whole weekend I thought and prayed and prayed. I was staying at my in-laws house and I was so excited to be there and celebrate our first niece coming in just a month and her wonderful mother but I couldn't get the house out of my head. I prayed that if this was the house that God would make it known to us. That not only would the house still be on the market Sunday but that the act of putting a contract on the house wouldn't be drama filled, but simple. I just kept saying I wanted God's house for us and I would know it was HIS house if He just took us down a simple path, not a path filled with crazy. I prayed over and over- every time my mind thought of the house or got filled with worry. 

Before we knew it Sunday was there and we dropped the kids off with some friends from church who lived down the road (just three blocks away). We had a full hour to look at the house. Mike was running late and as Matt and I waited for him I told Matt what I was thinking. I wanted a closing date in mid July, X amount of money back at closing so we could get new carpet right away (a regret that still lingered from our other house- where we never changed the yucky carpet) and lastly that I think we should pay X amount for the house. Matt was completely on board with all of it. So we spent each and every moment we had looking at everything, discussing it with each other and Mike. 

As it turns out the family room and kitchen were the exact same size as our old house but the layout was a LOT more open and other aspects made them feel more spacious. Plus we had a formal dinning room and living room added onto them in this house. There were four bedrooms- again the same as our old house- but they were all upstairs. There were two moderately sized rooms, a master and a spacious bedroom over the garage. The garage was a good size and would fit both cars (although a bit snug since we own a minivan and SUV, both of which are big/wide cars). The yard needed a bit of love since there wasn't much grass (mostly weeds) but it was a good enough size. The fireplace had already been converted with a gas insert- something we only saw in one other house and a nice added bonus. The backyard had a brick patio and not a deck- a bonus to me since maintenance is much easier. The furnace, AC unit and water heater were new within the last five years. The house had vinyl siding and new windows, something that was a big selling point to us since we wouldn't need replace and which we would have had to do with many of the other houses we looked at. The only thing needing attention in next few years was the roof, that was original to the house (so 25 years old) and nearing the end of it's life. So some grass seed/tlc for the lawn and a roof were the only big money items that we could see. And the more we walked around the more we could just feel like this was the house. 

So that night we put in an offer. We got home ~5:30-6 and by 9:30 the sellers and us had settled on a contract. No drama, no bumps, nothing. And each item I had talked about with Matt in the car while we waited for Mike was exactly what the contract said. Mid July closing, X dollars back at closing and X amount purchase price for the house. It was everything I had been praying for. Everything, down to the last detail. I went to bed that night with no question that God had lead us to our home.

More wonderful blessings came as the house buying process continued. Matt's parents were in town for the inspection of the house, which happened to fall on the day we closed on our old house. So they were here to help us move to the rental too. But Matt's dad loved the house and could find no reason why we shouldn't buy it it. We used the same guy for the inspection and he seemed more pleased after going through this house. After the inspection we asked for some more money back at closing to fix the things he had found. This money totaled to the amount needed to pay for the new carpet. So we used very little savings to pay for closing and then put that money into new carpet. Our friend owns a flooring store and she was wonderful and so where the men who installed it. The instillation took place the two day following our closing and before we moved all of our furniture in- nice and easy. My dad came down to help us move from the rental to the new house and was able to fix a few of the 'big' projects- like a new man door to the garage and he rebuilt the steps from the garage into the house. Matt's parents came down a little later in the summer and then again in the fall and helped with a few other things, like fixing the fence doors so they opened and cleaning out the dryer vent that was all blocked causing the dryer to not work too well. These and other small jobs have gotten done with their help. All of these things were manageable. Just little stuff, normal house maintenance. Nothing like the work needed on the house we passed up.

Now I look at this house, six months into living here, and it feels like I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The things I was worried about, the size of the family room and kitchen, are not even an issue. When I tell people that they're the same size as they old house they always have a look a surprise on their face. I love my kitchen. It has the perfect amount of cupboards and a nice pantry. It fit all of my things nicely. Has more counter space than the old house and just an overall better layout. I love how it overlooks the family room so I can have my eye on the girls when they're playing in there and when we entertain it is a nice flow for those relaxing and those helping in the kitchen. The dinning room makes us able to entertain beyond our own family of five. At Thanksgiving we had six adults and four kids here and the kids table was in the kitchen and the adult table was in the dinning room. It was very nice. And the storage in this house is out of this world. Our master bedroom closest square footage alone is the size of the old houses closets all put together. There is attic storage, garage storage, knee wall storage, and ample closet space in each bedroom too. I love how the big girls room just holds their beds, lovies, a small book shelf, and their clothes (dresser and closet). Same with the nursery. 95% of the toys are in the playroom/guestroom, the over sized room above the garage, that is a neutral zone for all to play in. I love that we have a place for grandparents to stay when they come. The playroom is great when the girls have friends over and I love that all the mess is upstairs and out of sight- causing this mama to not feel like I'm forcing the kids to constantly clean up a big mess. Instead I just have them gather what migrated downstairs for the day and put it where it belongs. Then we do a big clean up when necessary. I could go on and on when I sit back and think about the blessings that each room/area of the house lends our family.

What we love, love, love just as much as the house structure is the neighborhood. It's got sidewalks (which any northern friend might laugh about, but in our area they are not common). There are two pools in the neighborhood, one only 1.5 blocks from our house! There are three playgrounds, one only 2.5 blocks from our house! In fact, this is the neighborhood that is connect to the apartments we lived in when we first moved here. We've come full circle. Where I always dreamed of living. Our neighbors are so nice. There are three of us (mind you there are over 900 houses in this development) right next to each other who moved in within months of each other. We all have young kids- theirs are all boys but potential future friends all the same. I just talked with one of them a week or so ago and we talked about doing a little get together between the three of our homes to get to know each other a bit better. I know I'm a dork but I love that my kids will grow up with neighborhood friends. I had that growing up and I loved it. We have multiple church friends/family that live in the neighborhood which is wonderful. You can walk to a grocery store, a CVS, and much more. I loved being able to go to the corner store with my friends growing up. Mom would give us a few dollars as long as we picked her up some Boston Baked Beans too! Countless blessings again.

I have to say that it was an adventure I'm not soon to forget and one that I see God's hands all over. I love that when I look back on the tough times, I see His miraculous work in my life. I praise Him for it all. The first thing I did when Matt and I pulled up with the keys from closing was to sit on the steps and dedicate this house back to Him who provided it. May all who enter these doors see my God and his blessings in our family on in our home.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 

1 Timothy 6:17

Finding Home - Part One and a Half

Finding Home - Part One and a Half

Jeremiah 17:7-8

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Part 1.5 - Renting

Soooo the journey of selling our old home (Part 1) was quick, in retrospect of course. While we were in the thicket of it, yes it felt like forever! It was always our plan to sell before seriously looking for a new home. I was convinced I would find the perfect house before ours sold and then we'd have to watch it sail down the river with another crew aboard. I'm that way with a lot of things. I don't like to look for things until we have the money for them. Sure I window shop to some degree but I didn't want to do any SERIOUS house shopping until we knew our house was under contract. With that being said we always knew in the back of our minds that there was a possibility that we'd not find a house in time and we'd have to rent.

Well that possibility became reality, even though I never really thought it would. We looked at a few house but God had not yet revealed our house which seemed to work out okay since we had all the drama with the first contract falling through and then getting another one. I had even begun looking for temporary housing when we found the "Hoof" house. With this house we were going to do a quick close and so if we rented back our old house from the new owners for a few days we would have been just fine, however that was not the case. The "Hoof" house didn't workout (more to come in Part 2) and so on May 10th, just a few weeks from closing and being homeless (literally), we realized we'd have to find a house or apartment to rent in between homes. 

This moment was one I have so vividly etched into my memory. I remember talking to my mom and step dad on the phone when we realized the "Hoof" house wasn't going to work out and I needed to rally and figure out where God wanted us to go. My step dad told us to pray together. I got off the phone and laid with Matt in our bed and I told him I didn't have the words to pray and I don't think he did either. Our emotions were everywhere. Our thoughts all jumbled together. Our kids and our well being on the forefront of our over loaded minds. But in these times, times when you can't come up with the words, our loving God is there no matter what. Romans 8:26-28 tells us "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant conditions, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is working into something good." (The Message translation).

Just a few weeks earlier in my Thursday Bible study, before we'd found the "Hoof" house, I randomly asked if anyone knew of a place or had a place that my family could rent because we were about to be homeless (said in a joking manner). A lady I barely know, Darlene, (since she'd missed much of the study due to her husbands illness) said she had a place. It was in a part of town I wasn't familiar with and we exchanged information. About a week later she called me to say she didn't think the house would be ready in time for us to use it and I told her no problem since we'd found the "Hoof" house by that time, we wouldn't need temporary housing. I was so grateful for her willingness but was grateful too that I wouldn't need it.

Fast forward now two weeks and I'm at the same Bible study in tears and speechless. Frustrated and scared. Upset and nervous. In God's arms and waiting on His provision. Just two days earlier, Tuesday evening, I had found out that the "Hoof" house was no longer viable and we'd have to pass on purchasing it. The inspection report came back and it was revealed to us that we'd need another place to live and our house hunt would forge on. 

The Wednesday in between finding out we'd need temporary housing and Bible study, I had begun the day on the floor, in tears and on the phone with my mom. After getting all the frustration and tears out I began looking for townhouses and apartments. I must have called over 25 places. In the end I had two apartments complexes that could take us. The apartments available were both two bedrooms. Each one would have to be nothing less than a 6 month lease. Both of them cost over $1200 per month. And after a half day of searching I was at ends with God.

Really!?! He wanted me to put my family of 5 into TWO bedrooms. Let's not forget the cat. Plus we'd have to rent a bigger storage unit because we were not fitting our whole house into a two bedroom apartment, not to mention all of the stuff in our shed. I just cried and cried what felt like all day. I couldn't believe this is what God was asking of us?

So at Bible study that next day I just couldn't hold myself together. I just couldn't understand what God was doing with us and why. I wanted to put my faith and trust in Him who has it all worked out and I honestly had no other choice but why on earth a tiny little apartment God...really.

At the end of the study the women, oh my sisters in Christ, all showed such support as I poured out my heart. It was then that Darlene approached me again. She said "I just texted my husband and he said we will do everything in our power to get the house ready for you if you want it." I must have looked as beaten down as I felt, I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me.

The next morning we went and looked at the Darlene and Ray's rental house. Oh I can tell you now I was looking at it through God's eyes and not mine. It was in need of lots of love! It never looked unlivable but it was in rough shape. But they were going to work hard, he assured me, to get it into better shape. They were going to put new flooring in the kitchen and two bathrooms, new toilets, new vanities, new paint throughout, paint the kitchen cabinets, put up ceiling fans, new stove and dishwasher, new fence in the backyard, new shed doors, new window treatments, new kitchen facet and garbage disposal, clean up the hardwood floors, resurface the tub and put in new tub surround walls and some other things that are alluding me know. They had only 2.5 weeks to get it all done before we needed to move in. And God willing, they did got the majority of the work done hours before we moved in. And answered prayers we didn't even know to ask for. This house fit our needs- however temporary- God provided!

For instance, there were no washer and dryer here. Matt and I thought we could do the laundry mat or maybe rent a washer and dryer from one of those "Rent-a-Center" places or at times bum off friends. But the day after we walked through the house Darlene texted me that they were going to put a washer and dryer in too. Tears fell once more- we didn't even ask God but He knew. Although the washer and dryer proved to be the first of many trials we faced while living in the rental. You see, they didn't get hooked up until 5 days after we moved in- unknown to us until the day of move in. But hey those five days taught me that I wouldn't have lasted 6 weeks without a washer and dryer! God knew, oh yes, He knew!

Many more trails came to us after the washer and dryer were hooked up though. But first I want to sing the praises of God's provisions. The rental house might have been twenty plus minutes from everything and everywhere but it FIT.OUR.NEEDS. We didn't have to rent any other space. And the rent per month was a fraction of what we would have spent on those apartments! The shed fit all our 'shed stuff' and the patio fit our other outdoor stuff too (kids toys and patio furniture, etc.). There were THREE bedrooms! I never thought one bedroom could make or break me but this was HUGE after touring those tiny apartments. The biggest bedroom housed all three girls beds/crib and dressers plus three hampers and a nightstand. Matt and I had all of our bedroom stuff in a small bedroom where there is just enough room to walk around the bed and from the door to the closet (all we really need for a short stay). The third bedroom housed our many unpacked boxes, our food and Annabelle's stuff. The living room was plenty big enough and housed the majority of our furniture. The kitchen was sufficient and then there was one more room, I called it the back room- which is where we had the table and the computer desk. 

The house was only ~100 square feet less than our old house. I had to laugh when my FIL came up to me they day we moved into it and said "The movers don't think we're going to fit all your stuff in this house." I just gave him the "don't worry about it- it's going to work" kind of look. And to their astonishment it all fit fine.

One thing I wasn't prepared for, and I don't know if I ever could have been was the emotional aspect of the move. With all our physical needs being met, it was hard to anticipate the emotion roller coaster I'd be on as we moved into the rental. I was sad for leaving the old house, but not in a way that made me want to stay there. No, I was very ready to put that house behind us and found 'home' somewhere else. However, I wasn't ready to find 'home' in the rental. I was very tired after the trials of selling the house and I think I was very frail. This made living in the rental hard for me. This wasn't what I had planned, I know please keep your laughing to a minimum, but I didn't like the place. Not the actual place but what it meant emotionally.

It meant moving twice and all the physical, financial, and  emotional energy that this was going to take. It meant that I was going to have to stretch myself and live on faith that I didn't know I had. It meant that I was going to have to be patient once again. It meant that I was going to live in a state of limbo and have to hunt for my things and live out of boxes. It meant that I was going to have to rely on God more than ever before because God was taking us down a road that was going to cause us to hold onto our faith in Him and let the rest of it go, the rest of ourselves and our thoughts.

You see we didn't move in and have smooth sailing. No we had many trials during our first three weeks of living here. For the sake of organization I'm going to make a timeline of the tribulations and let you infer how we were broken down before God lifted us back up... 

Week One:
-No washer & dryer for five days
-My mom comes into town and is a huge emotion support 

Week Two:
-We lose air conditioning in the heat of summer for four days
-We lose our bathtub as they begin work on the tub surround and fixtures for three days
-My mom heads back to her home

Week Three:
-We lose power after a bad storm (just 24 hours after getting AC back) for three days

As I list it out it doesn't seem as traumatic as it felt during everything. But it just felt like one thing after another and I was emotionally spent before it all began. I went to bed exhausted each day and just waiting for what would come next. It seemed like every time I took a breath and felt like we must be through the worst of it, something else came along.

My mom had gone home on a Wednesday and the following Sunday at church (when we still had no power) she said she prayed that if nothing else God would give us back our AC. That a week without it was more than enough and if He was going to continue to mold us in these ways that he would at least give us cool air to weather the storm. 

But around the corner of each trial there was God provision. From friends who lent use of their washer and dryer and bathtub and cool house in the heat of the day. To the use of our church freezer for our food and refugee when the house was being worked on. To wonderful landlords who where doing things to make the house comfortable for us- including putting a new AC unit in. To having found our 'forever' home- giving me comfort that this time in our lives was temporary and that God's promises to provide and prosper us were as true during our trials as they were every other day of our lives.

I grew A LOT in that house. It was there that I really just lived on faith each and everyday, in a way I wouldn't have if we had gone from the old house right into a new house. God wants us to prosper. In 2 Corinthians 8:9, he says "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." and in Jeremiah 29:11 He says, "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And these and many other promises didn't change just because my earthly circumstances did. God was providing for us and molding us to be more like Him and to have faith that can move mountains.

I often times want to write on here to get out all the love God shows me daily. I want to write down memories to reflect on later, memories my feeble brain might forget otherwise. But I also want a written archive of my faith journey. How God took the worldly heart of one woman and transformed it into a heart worthy of God's eternal, heavenly future. Of all the things God promises, easy is not one of them. Our selfish, sinful nature wants life to be easy and for things to be handed to us but God wants us to grow and become the person He brought us into this world to be and I don't want to be anyone else and the trials of this life will just make me realize that this is not our home! We were created for something bigger. So I'll leave you with a poem I came across and it really struck a cord in my heart. Don't worry...Part 2 is coming because our newest HOME is just moments away and I can't wait to share the story of how it came to be ours!!!

Finding Home - Part 1

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Part 1 - Selling Our House

It was this time last year that God started us down the journey of finding a new home and selling our current home. In the fall we spoke with my great friends husband, Mike (he's a realtor), about if we could even do such a thing. You see we bought our house at the top of the market back in 2006- ten years ago. Little did we know then that it was the top and the housing bubble was about to burst. He said he was confident we could. We calculated the numbers and came up with the magic number of what we would need to sell our house and get out. And by that I mean to just be able to put this house behind us, not make a dime off it. We were all optimistic it was possible so we made plans to put it on the market the following spring.

It was then that I began praying for the people who would love our home as theirs and for our next home to be ready for us to grow into. This process has been bathed in prayer from the moment of conception and God's hand has been in every up and down too. But as you'll see God's plan isn't always ours and our dreams are often not as big as His. But He tells us to be transformed to His ways, His good, acceptable and perfect ways. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD (Isaiah 55:8). 

Well fall and the holiday season went by and before we knew it, January was here. This was the month we began the physical and emotional journey of selling our current home. Little did we know how this journey was going to stretch us, break us, mold us and renew us but that is exactly what has happened. 

We spent the beginning of the year preparing the house. We decluttered by renting a storage unit and cleaning out closets, donating things, and just tossing some stuff in the garbage (why have we kept this all these years??). We paired down kitchen supplies and toys. We washed windows and walls. We reorganized and simplified and depersonalized. We spent weekend after weekend working on the house. We painted and moved around furniture. We had a friend from church come and 'stage' the house with decorations. And by the beginning of March the house was ready. I'm not sure we were ready but the house was looking good- we however were a little more tattered and worse for the ware than a few months earlier.

It is kind of an uncomfortable thing to let strangers walk through your home. I would equate it to getting your pants pulled down in public. You are just exposing yourself to whomever called to look at the place. But as reluctant as I was we opened the doors to the public mid March.

Now having people come to into my house was no small thing. Each time we had a showing it took me a good solid hour or so (depending on the state of the house prior to the call) to get it ready. I would start upstairs with picking up toys and making beds. Then I'd stuff all the kids things away (baby gate under a bed, step stools in the bathtub, changing pad under the crib etc.). Then I'd vacuum the whole upstairs. Then I'd move to the downstairs where I would corral the little ones into a room with some form of TV on. I'd pick up, organized, and vacuum. I would have to strap Audrey into her car seat at some point because as soon as I'd get anything picked up she'd be pulling something else back out- oh how I was losing my mind. Then I'd pack the kids into the car with their toys from the living room and put on music or a book and run back in to do the last room and run over my check list to be sure in the hectic moments I didn't forget anything.

It.Was.Crazy!!!! We had the house on the market for only two and a half weeks before the first offer came in and it felt like a lifetime! We were ecstatic but more so me because it meant that I would be able to sleep again. I slept horribly throughout this portion of the process. It was excruciating. I was always on edge and not myself. I found it hard to relax and this was just as exhausting as not sleeping. I didn't enjoy being around myself most days and felt awful for my family who were stuck with me just the same. But that was past us now, or so we thought.

The house was off the market two weeks when we found out that the purchaser was unable to find financing. She was a single mother and had some bad past mistakes still holding her back from her dreams of owning a home. My heart went out to her. In fact, when this first setback came I was okay with it. I just took it in strides. And less that 24 hours later we were right back at the beginning.

Now God was with me, yes it was tough, but let me tell you some days it was His strength and not my own getting me through the constant cleaning and packing up kids and food (the showings during dinner hours were my least favorite, we ate a handful of meals at church due to this craziness). He was with me in the middle of the morning when I couldn't get back to bed and I lay there for hours on end wishing I could calm the anxious thought that kept me awake. He was there when I wanted to cry but instead I put on my big girl britches and did what needed to be done. He was always there.

So now it was April and the house was back on the market. This time it only lasted a week and we had TWO offers come in. I was blown away by how God was just showing us he had this. This time we accepted an offer that came in above asking price! We were jaw dropped at how good our God was. Woohoo! Not only was it a great offer but it was very apparent that they LOVED our house. They wrote a letter to us and I kept thinking "This is what I was praying for." God had answered my prayers!

They quickly did the inspection and secured financing. Everything looked great. Then the house appraised...oh yes, God was still great but the results of the appraisal were not so great. The offere were had accepted was $2,000 over asking price but asked for $4,000 back at closing. This would have given us about $8,000 net profit on the house. We priced our house with a little wiggle room so we would get at least enough to get out of the house. However, the appraisal came in at $4,000 LESS than what we needed to get out of the house without LOSING money. Yes, you read that right. Now we have to pay money to sell our house, more than what was due to the realtors. And yet, God hadn't left us.

They wanted us to fix some windows (totaling about $1,000 to do so) and they said we didn't have to fix them. They had asked for a $450 home warranty and they took that off the table (their realtor is getting it for them). They took off the $4,000 they asked toward closing costs too. So in the end it doesn't seem like much to pay $4,000 to finally put this house in our past. I told Matt multiple times that do this was worth never having to go through this process again. I mean our alternative was not selling the house until it was worth more but when would that be? And we'd have to start from scratch again at that point! No, God didn't want us to do that. He wanted us to surrender the money to Him and His plan. 

So that's where we are now. We officially lose ownership on June 1st and we need to be out of it by June 4th at noon (we've rented back from them for a few days but more about that in Part 2 - Buying a House). More to come though because along side this journey of selling our house, we've been on another journey to find our next home and oh man it has been just as bumpy of a road.

My Tangible God

I have been really, really wanting to get on here and write what has been on my heart lately and here God is giving me that opportunity. Two sleeping girls, Wednesday nights Bible study planned and Thursday's Bible study homework up to date and Matt isn't due home for a bit, plus, it's leftover night so no dinner prep needed! Can you see me dancing with joy like a fool! 

Life has been busy, as it usually is. Olivia turned 2 last week!!! Just blows my mind that she is two already. Potty training is on the up swing. She has been so good and is gaining control over it all. Allowing us to enjoy life in longer increments than the ol' 45 minute routine we had just a week ago. I'm so proud of her- she truly is a big girl now. Lauren is just plugging away, throwing surprises our way at every turn. She is so freakin' smart sometimes, I am truly amazed that the things she says (quite literally on a daily basis) and does. I sometimes just take a step back and enjoy the fun that it brings to our house. She's such a young lady. Matt said to me the other day that he wished he could put a little recording device around her neck so we could document all the wonder, beauty, and down right silly that just escapes her mouth all day long. I told him I would agree as long as it was just her voice you could hear when it was played back, lol, this mama doesn't need to hear her own voice anymore than I already do!

Look who can even pour her own cereal...well sort of 

Lauren's skills are a little better- she'll teach Olivia I'm sure

Matt's wonderful parents where down visiting us this past weekend. Always a blessing and an unexpected one too. Which leads me right into what I really, really want to put down in this post. 

I think it was last week Wednesday when could feel God walking through my day with me. It has been one of those times in my life when I truly feel like His presence is so tangible that it gives me the goosebumps (or chill bumps for you goofy folk ;-). So here goes my days.

Wednesday was going to be a crazy day, and for the most part it still kind of was. I had a baby appointment with the good ol' OB GyN. I always get excited for those appointments- for a few reasons. One, I usually go alone or with Matt and I enjoy either my quiet time or my alone time with Matt. Two, when you're pregnant with baby number three it's hard to find time to just bask in the glory of your pregnant state and these appointments give me time to do just that. Three, I love hearing my baby's heartbeat, oh such a sweet symphony of tones that makes my heart dance. So I was a bit disappointed when I realized that my absent minded pregnant self had also made Olivia's 2 year appointment for the same day. Or it might have been the other way around- I made my baby appointment for the same day as Olivia's, but you get the point. I can't be two places at once.

I called Matt when I realized my grave mistake. I told him the predicament and was secretly hoping he would solve all of my problems and be my hero once again. But no indeed he too could not figure out how I could be at two places at once. I had a babysitter coming, originally for both girls, so I wouldn't have to worry at all about Lauren- Amen! So I asked Matt if he could take the morning off to take Olivia to her appointment and then I would go alone to mine. He said sure and all was right. Expect it wasn't. I really LOVE going to their doctor appointments- for a few reasons (sound familiar? - if not reread the last paragraph again- and yes I hope you're laugh right along with me on this). One, I love their doctor- she is great and I'd be friends with her in the outside world if I could be. Two, I love finding out all about how they've grown and how they are doing. Three, I like to ask questions- it's in my DNA to be a question asker (ask everyone of my teachers and professors they will agree hands down, or up :-). With Olivia I'm forever asking about her food issues and this time was no different. 

So I prayed and got over it. There was just one small, very small, extremely small chance I could do both. My appointment was at 9:20 and Olivia's was at 10:15. And God afforded me another chance besides the appointments be staggered a bit, there was also the fact that we were at the West End pediatrians office (not our usually office). The appointments were at offices only ten minutes apart. I knew going into the day that it was very slim chance that I could pull it off. After all the OB GyN is so very rarely on time so I just prayed and figured I'd have to hear about Olivia's appointment from Matt. 

Well Jesus was in the car when I got an awesome parking spot in, and when "For the first time in forever..." (yes I'm signing Frozen songs on my blog post) the doctors office was running on time. I got into the room with plenty of time. I'm telling you I've never had an appointment run so smoothly every!!!! I even had time to chat with my doctor, whom I love dearly too, about life and kids as I listened to sweet baby's heartbeat. Then I had to get that ever so wonderful Rhogam shot and since the doctor's nurse was super busy they had another nurse do it and she was ready as soon as I was and I was able to get in quickly to have my blood drown too! I got in the car and raced over to Olivia's appointment. I had been texting Matt my positive progress the whole time. When I got into the car I had a text from him back and I might just make it. So off I zoomed. I pulled into the parking lot, ran (okay, walked quickly) into the office and asked the receptionist where they were. I walked into the room to see Olivia being a sweet girl and the best was when she lit up like a little Christmas Tree when I came into the room. I hugged her and thanked God, whom I swear to you was in the room with us enjoying the moment too. Dr. T and I chatted about baby number three and names. I found out she was as crazy with her children's names as I have been. She also has three children and was very intent to make sure her children's name went together just so. Matt zoned out but I was so excited to not be the only crazy mama who agonized over simple things while naming her babies because it mattered-  to me. But we also talked about the food allergies, which Matt hadn't gotten to so I was also grateful I didn't miss that conversation. Olivia got a wonderful report of heath and didn't even need any shots- just a finger prick, which was with her doctors usually nurse -another wonderful lady! The morning couldn't have gone any better- such an answer to prayer plus more! What a great God we have!!

Then we traveled home to enjoy lunch as a family before Matt had to scoot back off to work. We all enjoy when daddy is here for lunch. I tell you I was walking on Jesus' soft cloud all day and I'm sure he was right there with me. It honestly was a blessing beyond measure.

Then I was praying and praying for Thursday too. You see we have Bible study on Thursdays and last week was rough with Olivia's potty training and I felt awful for both her and the nursery worker. I had a plan of action to turn that frown upside down this week. And there it was Thursday and there He was- Jesus yet again by my side seeing prayers on my heart be answered. She did so good. They had woken up early that morning- so Olivia was able to do her daily morning business at home leaving this mama so hopeful that she was good to go in that department (the week before not so much and she ended up doing it in her pants and I know she was beyond devastated that she wasn't quite comfortable enough to do it in the potty). Anyway- with her #2 out of the way I just had to worry about getting the pee in the pot- I could do this. So I went to the nursery to bring her into the potty every hour or so and help her feel more comfortable. I just left my study to tend to her in the nursery. I had to go there three times but the second two times she was successful and came home in the same pants that she showed up in. I was so proud of her and again so thankful for the tangible evidence that my God cares for even the grossest of our needs.

So then that leaves us with this wonderful weekend. But of course I must backtrack a bit- I wouldn't be Jennifer if there wasn't a back story to everything I say- oh bless my heart. Anyway, I've been prayerful for a new dresser. You see this time around all I needed to do to get the 'house' ready for baby was to officially move all of Olivia's stuff into the 'big girls room.' She has been sleeping in there since December but her clothes still were housed in the nursery. One reason being I had no dresser to put her clothes into and the other being I hadn't gotten around to rearranging all the closets yet (I still have more work in that area but I know I'll get to it). So I started stalking Craigslist for the city we live in and the city Matt's and my family live it. I was finding NOTHING here. On top of being a very small selection, what I was finding was way over priced. I had specifics that couldn't be changed. I needed it to be a chest of drawers since I needed it to fit in the room. It also needed to be 5 drawers high, not 4, in order to fit in all the clothes. And I really wanted a wood that wouldn't clash with the dresser that was already in there housing Lauren's clothes. I'm not to needy...ha! So I did find one and my MIL looked into it but someone else had found it first. I wasn't too discouraged, I mean I do have three months until baby comes into the world needing clothes and all. I trusted God had one picked out for us and in His timing we would find it. I didn't however think he was going to have such an awesome plan, in a way only he can!

Then one week ago- on a Sunday night I got an email from Matt's mom. She found a beauty. I saw it and told her to go for it. It was even better than I could have imagined!! It was a double chest. So there are two columns of drawers- 5 high in the same dresser!! Thus allowing me to put both girls clothes in one dresser!!! Who even knew that existed?? Not I. On top of this fantasticness, it was just one piece of a set. There was a coordinating desk, chair, mirror, nightstand, and bookshelf. Now- ALL of this was in mint condition and ALL of it was just $250. Now we had budgeted about $100 for a used wooden dresser. But we didn't need all of the stuff in the group, so things could be resold offsetting the cost. Plus, Matt's parents so generously helped financially too. So the girls now have a new bookshelf, something I hadn't even prayed for but they needed (there was literally no room left on the one they had and we have many more years of book collecting in front of us). They also have a new nightstand that coordinates with their new dresser and bookshelf. I was just hoping for something that wouldn't clash but God had bigger and better things in store for us. Isn't He GREAT!!!!

Here's the dresser all set up, clothes inside! It fit perfectly into

the space. Just an answer to prayer plus so much more!

Here is the bookshelf...see the room for growth. 

It however is NOT all set up- just books thrown back

on so the floor wouldn't be covered anymore. 

A work in progress...

If this wasn't enough my in-laws were planning a random- we miss our grandbabies visit. So they were able to pick it up and bring it down to us just a few days later. They also took the dresser and nightstand that we already owned and had no room for back to there house for storage until God blesses us with our next home that we're hoping might have some more rooms and we can take it back from them. I was able to move the bookshelf from their room into the office for some much needed storage of school stuff. The house that once felt so big and somewhat empty is now feeling a little snug and not empty at all- and what a blessing that is!

My in-laws presence this weekend allowed for Matt to do a few things around the house and me too. Lauren took a trip to their hotel room again and we got some wonderful alone time with our now 2 year old. I love when we're able to make our children feel special in their own way. We were able to visit with them and enjoy their wonderful company too. I was able to run some errands and get some reorganizing done with the dresser swap, closet rearranging, and new bookshelf arrangement. 

Man the length of this post is beyond my usual attention span or my allotted time. But here I am still able to write. I just can't explain in words how amazing God's love is. I think of the way I try and do special things to make my children feel loved and important and cherished and then I see Him doing it to me. I think that is why I've been so adamant in getting this post down. I want to... 

Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

And Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

We've been through fire, we've been through pain
We've been refined by the power of Your name
We've fallen deeper in love with You
You've been the truth on our lips

Shout to the north and the south

Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Yes, He's Lord of heaven and earth
~Shout to the North~

"There, in the presence of the Lord your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the Lord your God has blessed you." Deuteronomy 12:7

"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice." 1 Chronicles 16:10

"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, "The Lord is great!" Psalm 70:4 

"In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trust in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." Isaiah 25:9

There are so many more ways I can quote how I feel about God right now. I feel like rejoicing in Him who knit each of these days together so perfectly in a way only He who created the heavens and the earth can. I might not be a preacher who can tell many how tangible God can be but I can tell all who I know about how God is here with us. And He isn't just with us when things are working out but He's there with us when things are all jumbled up too, if you've ever read any of my other post- especially ones about this past summer- you know that I feel His almighty presence in the good times and the bad. I just prefer the good times...don't we all! So may your week be blessed. May you feel his love, power, and gentleness as you walk through your day. May you know His presence is so close that you feel it in your heart and see it in your daily life.

Well it's time for bath and shower and bed and I'm one tired mama- off to enjoy those blessings!

Blood Thirty Mama!

Okay first Happy Halloween! I have to make this post fast so I can make an M for Matt's shirt so he can be a green M&M with the girls tonight! The baby is going to be a red M&M mini (I'm putting the small M on my baby bump...hehehe). We're all excited about having fun as a family and getting some candy!!

So let's get right to this "blood thirsty Mama" thing. Okay I am a pretty neat person, most friends and family would say I'm extremely neat and clean, but I know that as my family has changed over the the last four years my housekeeping has slowly slipped down the totem pole of importance. But I never thought it could get so bad...okay I'm being a little dramatic here.

About a week ago we started noticing some fruit flies in the kitchen- that happens, not a big deal. They come in on the fruit from the store and they usually don't last too long. Well, we started noticing more and more. I felt like I killed the one or two I noticed and figured I'd taken care of the problem but oh no I hadn't. It was about one week ago that Matt and I realized that we must have something, somewhere in the house that was unnoticed where they were living, breeding, and thriving (gross!). So I set up my usual trap of apple cider vinegar mixed with a little dish soap to trap them. Well that is when I changed from normal everyday Mama to BLOOD THIRSTY MAMA!!! I was just going insane because they just didn't seem to be going away and I just couldn't stop myself from excitedly killing these little suckers. I'm serious when I say that on Saturday I had a kill count going. Last night Lauren was running through the house proclaiming "Mommy's the bug killer! Mommy's a killer of bugs!" I was mortified to hear her say this! I abruptly told her that I only kill bugs inside our house and nothing else (yikes- look what I've become!). Maybe it's the season or the Mama bear coming out as I feel my nest/den is being attacked. All I know is that I've become a fruit fly killing machine!

This is the woman who desperately wanted to learn to shoot a bow and shotgun as a kid (my father was an avid deer hunter back then) but deep down I knew that I could never kill a deer or any living creature purposefully. Yes, I eat meat and love it and don't mind eating the meat of animals others kill but I'm not sure, unless life depended on it, that I could do it. I did have a fatal accident with a deer once driving down a rural road. Poor thing had just eaten breakfast in the apple orchard and then dashed across the road too fast for me to react, making full contact with the front of my vehicle. Oh I was a wreck. Sobbing in some stranger's arms- a man driving the opposite direction than me on the road saw everything that happened, stopped to help out and stayed with me the whole time. Oh I wished after that I had gotten his name- he was a true "good Samaritan" to me. The state trooper came and had to shoot it twice to put the deer to rest so it didn't suffer anymore. It was a very traumatic experience and I felt awful. Of course my dad wanted to know why I didn't bring it home with me- oh fathers! So I'm not a hunter by nature, no no, but this last week has taught me different.

We have since located the onion house the pesky little things had made and gotten rid of it (oh I almost tossed my cookies when Matt found it- so disgusting). We also got rid of the bananas we had at the time- thus eliminating all of the possible food homes. I've killed a billion by hand and another billion with my vinegar traps. I'm slowly seeing less and less. All the produce I purchased last night at the store is now being housed in the fridge. So in our near future I can return to just being normal, everyday Mama and I can let the hunter return to the gatherer. But it just goes to show you that you never know what you will do or become in any given situation- all the more reason to never go on a reality TV show!

Now I'm off to make a few more M&M's. So have a sweet Halloween and not a blood thirsty one!

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build" Ecclesiastes 3:1,3

It's About Time!

It's About Time...that I made time to sit down and catch up on some wonderful blogs I follow and write down what's been going on here in our house. So with peanut butter covered graham crackers and some warm apple cinnamon tea it's time to write!

So here it is mid-November and I've been preparing for my little girl to turn three. With all her silliness and her ever encroaching desire for independence she is becoming quite the little/big girl. This fall had us in a few "phases" of toddlerhood I'm happy to see pass with the leaves. We've entered into the time when her body doesn't need a nap everyday but she still requires downtime. It took us some trial and error but we've worked out a system that works for us. She spends 1 hour in her bed (where sometimes she does in fact fall asleep) and then I set the timer for 1 hour of quiet playtime in her room. This allows me the time to get stuff done without kids in toe and it has also helped her grow. See, along with struggling at naptime she was also struggling with entertaining herself. Now there was 'once upon a time' when she would do her own thing and I could get something done in those 20 minutes before she was interested in my attention again but for some reason that capability seemed to disappear. She was very demanding and it was very exhausting. It seemed worse once Matt got home from work. It was like we couldn't even have a conversation without her needing someone to be paying full attention to her. It was a constant struggle because although we would give her good quality attention it was never enough. You pair that with less and less napping and we were exhausted each day- she was plain tuckered out and so were we. I think the hour of alone playtime in her room each day has given her time to grow in using her own imagination and seeing how fun it is when you're 'in charge' of your time, space, ideas, etc. I'd be very interested in hearing if other moms have gone through this stage of toddlerhood before.

I tell you I was up in arms more days than not. It was during the time when I was watching a lot of Little House on the Prairie on the tv at night and reading through the book series. I would watch/read it, and I know that it is tv and not real life, but still, I would watch it and read through the books and think to myself, back then it was like the kids worked for the parents and in my life I felt like I was working for her. I would say "Lauren, it is not mommy's job to entertain you all day- you need to give me time to do my work." And I knew it was hard for her to understand but as she's growing and learning I'm seeing a change and a difference. I don't want you to think I just sent her to the corner of the house as I propped my feet up and scrawled on my Facebook homepage- no I was doing things like house chores or dinner. I think my lack of blog posts lately can speak to this ever busy mama. And another added point I need to add is, I do let Lauren help with my tasks and sometimes that is great- but I can't do that with every chore, everyday- it's just not possible. 

Needless to say we're making lots of progress in this area. Me taking back my well needed down time for my stuff/sanity and her being directed to spend time alone has helped out everyone. One of my favorite parts of the day now is going up to get her when the timer goes off and check out what she's done in her time. She loves giving me a recap of the things she created, played with, and enjoyed and I love hearing it. Now...how to help Matt and her with bathtime...this is our next hurdle!

Isn't it funny, this motherhood thing?! My sense of humor has stayed very active as I've navigated the last three years. One funny joke I've been telling Matt and friends these day is how when Lauren was Olivia's age (~9 months) I thought I was rocking this mommy thing. She was well behaved, sweet, and doing all the things she should be doing- achieving her physical, emotional, and developmental milestones just like the books said. I was wondering what I was doing right, but I had it all figured out- HA! Not! My good friend Garrett said it perfectly to me one day when my nerves where fried and my hair seemed to be falling out at an exponential rate, "I once thought if I did everything right as a mother then I would produce this perfect, well rounded child who do would all the right things- but then I learned that isn't how it works." So true and such great advice. Because in the end they have free will and they're going to use it just like we do. 

I've been making the parallel in my head these days that toddlerhood is just a glimpse of the teenage years. They struggle to push you away and figure it out on their own. They can be unpredictable and throw a tantrum and then turn around to hug and snuggle you with warmth and affection moments later. They seek to see the world on their own but need you near to help them make sense of it all. Then I watched this internet video of a woman, Sally Clarkson and she said the same thing. I was like "this is a God thing!" I had been lead to her through Facebook- a friend from back home had posted something about her and I clicked the link and just couldn't stop reading. My heart was lead there by God because everything I was reading was making my heart fill with His love in a way only He can. You should check her out. I've since ordered on of her books on Amazon and I'm waiting so patiently for it to arrive any day now. She is all about helping women and mothers find their role of raising God loving, God fearing children. I'm looking forward to how God is going to use her wisdom to help me be the best God loving, God fearing mommy I can be.

So the little one, no I didn't forget about her. Oh Olivia. I can't get enough of her these days. She is just the happiest little girl ever. I'm enjoying her sweetness and the phase of life she's in. Right now it is a nice time and I'm soaking it all up. She wakes up smiling, is easy going, takes two naps both about 2-3 hours each. She is content in almost all of the hussle and crazy as well as the slow and mundane. She squeals with delight and screams with joy. She eats what's put in front of her (for the most part). She's getting better at remaining relatively still during diaper changes- even though yesterday she flipped over on me and then proceeded to mark her territory, if you know what I mean, for the first time in a long time. Right now she's my easy one- but I know that it has nothing to do with my magical mommy mojo- and soon enough she'll be running around like a crazy girl too. Speaking of "running" she's on the move- slowly she will army crawl herself to a desired object. Last night she popped herself up from her belly to her bum- but she has yet to repeat that move. I was so happy and lucky that I was watching as it happened. So much fun! The best part of watching her 'move' about is seeing her personality in the way she does it. She will take four or five rests on her way to wherever she's going- oh she's going to be my doddler. No rush or sense of urgency in her, which right now works to my advantage but I see so many, many ways this quality will not be so sweet in the future. But she's the most perfect Olivia Jean ever and I wouldn't want her any other way.

I say that to my girls all the time: 'God made you to be the most perfect Lauren Shea and Olivia Jean and I'm so lucky to enjoy you' or 'thanks for being you'. They're so much fun and even though most days I'm too drained to do much more than park my fanny in front of the tv, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even though I've spent the last few days in zombie mommy mode due to sleep deprivation and a sick baby I won't have wanted to spend my days doing anything else. 

These days also have us doing some different things at church. We've been reading through the book The Story. It is the bible turned into novel form so that you're able to see the story of God and His love unfold more seamlessly than if you were to pick up the bible and read it. It is the actual words straight from the bible. It has been great. I've learned so much by seeing the Old Testament in this story format. Matt and I are going through the book in our Sunday School class and then I lead the high schoolers through it on Wednesday night. Wednesday night have been different around here too- in a good way. Our church turned this bible study into a family night format. So every Wednesday we head to church when Matt gets home and we eat dinner there. For an extravert like me its so much fun to have dinner with all of our church family regularly. Then after dinner we break off into small groups to do the study. Since Matt and I do it on Sundays, Matt is the helper in the nursery and I'm able to lead the high schoolers. Then Lauren goes to the preschool class and Olivia chills with Matt in nursery. It's been great having the whole family going on Wednesday. Its been a welcomed change. It is however mighty challenging getting everyone in our family feed in a half hour, so we get there early in order to give the little ones, and ourselves, enough time to enjoy the yummy food and fellowship. It's also great to give up cooking one night a week and enjoy playing with the girls during the time I'd usually be preparing dinner.

As life keeps going by faster, I keep trying to keep up with it all. So much going on and so much waiting for us ahead. I really hope I can keep my feet on the ground and my head attached as I enjoy this journey and all the blessings of God that surround us. Here's to all the fun and crazy!

"Blessed are those who find wisdom,
    those who gain understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver
    and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies;
    nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
    in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
    and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her;
    those who hold her fast will be blessed."
~Proverbs 3:13-18~