What I've Learned Loving You...

I've learned that...

...life is never too busy to stop and snuggle

...each moment is fast and fleeting, so take time and embrace them all - even if they're full of smelly diapers and whinny demands

...no mess is too big to clean up when it brings a smile to your face

...God is full of miracles so always keep your eyes and heart open to receive them

...the best made plans are not as fun as a spontaneous idea and a creative child

...my heart never stops growing

...singing a song can turn a frown upside down

...watching you grow is a hobby I enjoy more than anything else

...true love comes in all sizes.

To my girls, whom I love with every ounce of my being- You light my life with joy that is indescribable and unbeatable. I pray for God to keep you safe, healthy, and happy all the days of your life.

Love Mommy!

"As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12

One Fish, Two Fish

Going from one fish to two fish has been such a blessing. A double blessing! Things have been busy, busy around here, so nothing new there. I can't believe in just two days Olivia will be one month old. Where on earth did that month go? We're slowly getting into a new routine and things are settling nicely. Most days I think "Wow I'm doing this!" and then there are some days I think "Wow this is a hot mess!" No matter what though, I'm thankful and overwhelmed with joy!

This weekend, due to the generosity of loving family members, we were able to purchase a double stroller! It's huge and I love it. I had been talking about getting one for the longest time. I kept going back and fourth about needing it or wanting it. I mean Lauren is old enough to walk so I felt like my want out weighed my need so I kept putting it off. Then, however, last week I had a crazy day where I needed to have both kids in a stroller on two different occasions and I texted Matt and said "We NEED a double stroller." Another reason I was holding off is because we already owned the double jogger stroller- so would two double strollers be overkill? The answer is no, not if you have two kids! The problem is the jogger stroller is just too wide for indoor trips, so it is limiting. This is why we went Saturday to get one and then took our maiden voyage to Target on Sunday after church. Yes, we made our first trip to church as a family of four and it was great! I keep finding things to be so much easier with Olivia then they were at this stage with Lauren. It was a bit overwhelming with people surrounding us to see the baby, but then I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have the luxury of writing this post tonight because I'm pretending not to be home. Even thought a squealing little girl just came to the office door to show me how funny she was and I couldn't resist so we cheated. She had her bunny night-night shoved into her pajama leg and she thought it was the best thing ever, as she laughed and carried on about it I scooped her up and kissed her for being so frappin' cute. 

Back to me being "gone"...why am I pretending to be gone? Well you see this mommy needs her own time away from home. I wholeheartedly think it makes me a better mom, when I refuel myself with some time away. So, we're pretending I'm not here so Matt can work out the kinks of being home with both girls in the evening and not have to do it on the fly next week. So far he's doing great! He hasn't had to do much without me yet and to balance the demands of having both kids. But come next Monday I'm going to be headed to Zumba and he'll be alone for an hour and a half. I'm super excited about starting up exercise again!

I use to have a gym membership at our local YMCA. I loved taking the Zumba classes, and Pilates too. Well once I started staying home I gave up the membership to help balance our monthly budget. I started running more- which I still plan on doing but one thing at a time. Well since then I've discovered our counties parks and recreation department offers a bunch of exercise classes in the evening. It works out very nicely. I don't have to worry about babysitting since Matt is home. You pay for them each month if you want to take a class, so if we're having a tough month- I forgo the class and run more. If there is a month were we're very busy, like the summer months when we vacation, then I don't have to pay and waste money, like a gym membership. It's a pretty reasonably priced too. I took a class back in the late spring right when I got pregnant (not knowing until after the class started) but it wasn't Zumba. I liked it but I L. O. V. E. Zumba. I really feel like it helps me with my endurance and its a bunch of fun.

So here it is us trying to learn the ropes and enjoying our two little fish.

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"
~Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Come Comic Relief

When I think of my day, laughing is the only way I made it through- that and faith that every day won't be as "eventful." (I girl can hope!)

So we headed back to the doctors this morning, and might I add I headed there with both girls...all...by...my...self! Poor Olivia is still having diaper issues. Although it got better, the worst of it is still hanging on. I called the doctors yesterday and they said to bring her in. So I successfully got out of the house at 9:50 am (my loving husband helped me by dressing Olivia and feeding Lauren breakfast- I thank God daily He blessed me with such a wonderful life partner). We made a quick stop at the camera store two minutes from the doctors office and picked up Olivia's newborn prints- oh my she's a cutie. I left there with a smile of success on my face and headed to the doctors. We got there on time and Lauren did a great job while we waited 20+ minutes to head into the back. Once there my smile slowly turned into deep breaths. 

I packed Lauren a small bag of things to entertain her, which she could have cared less about. She was more interested in the stool, which she proceed to fall off of (amen, I was right next to her) this fall frustrated her, causing her to then throw herself on the floor and thrash about in frustration. She calmed but not enough before the NP finally came into the room. The nurse started talking even though it was obvious that I was still trying to calm Lauren, which only caused her to continue the frustrated behavior longer. I'm trying my best to give Lauren the attention she needed and "listening" to the nurse and answer her questions. Finally the nurse started examining Olivia allowing me to pay full attention to Lauren, which was all she needed and she was calmed. So I took a deep breath but then the nurse started right up again over top of my crying baby- who needed her diaper changed again, since she proceeded to poop and pee while the lady was examining her and I couldn't follow what she was saying because this is what she was saying...

"I'm going to give you another cream. This cream needs to be applied at least four times a day. Continue using the cream you already have, which needs to be applied three times a day. You can rotate back and forth between the creams at each diaper change. Then you should really add another cream on top of them to created a better barrier between the pee/poop and her effected areas. I would suggest not using any of the white diaper creams (this statement took me at least three/four attempts to understand what on earth she was speaking about- since she kept using the technical names for all these freakin' creams), but use Aquaphor cream. It's great cream you can use on anything. This will come off easy so you don't have to scrub her bottom so hard, causing more irritation, at each diaper change."

HOLY FRAPPIN' GOODNESS here people. She did not say it as organized as that, since I had to ask her multiple times to restate the words that were coming from her mouth, that mind you I couldn't make sense of since she was using the technical names for each cream. This whole time Lauren was proceeding to take every item out of the diaper bag- thankful I ignored the nurse to ask her calmly to stop and redirected her before things got too messy. This might have caused me to ask the nurse to restate whatever she continued to say while I was redirecting Lauren. Mind you this whole time Olivia is crying her head off since she was cold, needed to be changed and hungry. 

This nurse was nice, but get a clue lady! I mean I'm obviously a new mom of two trying to find the ropes on how to pay attention to my crying baby, my active toddler, and the other adult in the room...those men on the floor of wall street have it easy compared to this. If she had just stopped talking while I was trying to attend to Lauren the whole appointment might not of felt as chaotic and crazy as it was.

By the time I finally had a grip on what she was telling me, I still needed to rediaper and redress Olivia, and get Lauren and myself ready before we could leave- not forgetting to stop and get sticker for Lauren (which of course someone was right behind us making this small task feel like a ropes course). By the time I got everyone and everything back into the car another LONG, DEEP breath was needed. 

Once that breath was out I realized I was going to need to go pick up the prescription still, and I wasn't going to be able to use the drive-thru since I had to get this new Aquaphor cream too. I did try and call the pharmacy and see if they would get the over the counter cream for me, but no such luck. A+ for trying that though. 

We did make our way back home first to nurse Olivia and have some lunch. Lord knows we wouldn't have done well at the store if we were all hungry.

So we all ate and get all packed into the car again. "This shouldn't be too hard" I told myself...lol. Well since Lauren feel asleep in the car for five seconds yesterday on our way home from Esther's house she never napped at home. This caused her to be tired earlier than usually and therefor falling asleep in the car today at only 12:30 (her usually nap time is 2:15-2:30). I called Matt and said guess what just made this day even more adventurous, that's right yet another day with no nap in her bed!

Thankfully there was another small errand I had to run that could be done with two sleeping children. So I drove there first and then headed to the pharmacy after. So she got about a 45 minute nap in the car. Better than the day before. 

The pharmacy wasn't too bad, even though it took longer than usually since we had a problem with cream #1- they didn't have the full amount the script was for when I came last time, so this time I needed to pick up the rest and there was a different pharmacist there- always an adventure these day.

We got home and I went straight to the pan of brownies sitting on the counter- oh they made it all better and gave me a little energy boost. Thankfully I have a wonderful daughter who allowed me to lay on the floor as we played the later half of the afternoon away. I'm extra grateful that dinner was being brought to us thanks to the wonderful church family we have and I didn't have to think about that.

After dinner Matt graciously gave me a full half hour in the bedroom with the door closed and he took both girls. That's how I've had time to write down these wonderful adventures and regain some of my sanity. 

I'm glad I have a sense of humor otherwise I don't think I would have made it out the doctors alive. I look back and laugh now...oh the fun...oh the joy of it all!

Tonight I give thanks for survival and deep breaths...and we're off to Olivia's ear doctor appointment tomorrow morning (Thank God, daddy will be coming with us to that one!)

"Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say "I am strong"
Let the poor say "I am rich"
Be of what the Lord has done for us"
~Don Moen - Give Thanks

Here's the scoop!

Just want to share a little bit about my new baby girl and her cuteness. I thought today would be a perfect day to honor her since today is her official due date, even though she blessed a few weeks early. It's kind of crazy to think about me still being pregnant right now, when it feels so right to have her here and my womb to be empty (I know a little dramatic huh). I did get a little sad as I started packing up some of my maternity clothes this afternoon. I do look forward to wearing my "normal" clothes again, but I'm sad as I wonder when I'll wear my maternity clothes again. Only God knows the answer to that. Anyway, back to my sweet Olivia!

First off she is an awesome eater. This little girl, unlike her sweet sister, is gaining weight like a champ. She gained one pound, one ounce in just two weeks. I think I'm so amazed by this is because Lauren is the only one I have to compare her to and she didn't start gaining weight like that until well into her second month of life. We've had no nursing problems, another huge answer to prayer!! I haven't been able to drink milk yet, which I'm slowing getting over. I was drinking at least three tall glasses a day when I was pregnant, but now if I drink any she spits up curds for the next 24 hours. I just feel bad, so I've cut it from my diet for now. I had to do the same for Lauren, and think I was able to reintroduce it around 2-3 months.

She's a spitter upper. I go through burp clothes like they're going out of style. Last night, Matt and I had a date night, plus a sleeping Olivia, and we stopped off at BabiesRUs to purchase more burp clothes with our 20% off coupon. She's way better than when she first came home from the hospital, but poor things always got spit up coming out of her mouth.

She loves to sleep. She's pretty chill and very rarely cries. When she does cry it's usually because she's pretty hungry and mommy is not moving fast enough (aka, I'm being pulled in too many directions when it's feeding time). She's very easily calmed when she starts fussing and loves to be sung to.

She loves her bouncer seat. She would nap and sleep in that baby all day long if I let her. The vibrations and bounce lull her to sleep in minutes. So glad I was adamant about getting it when I was preparing for Lauren, even though Lauren didn't use it near as much as Olivia has. 

She's a snuggle bug, and her other sleeping place of choice is on my chest. I love the naps when this can happen. She's so warm and snugglely, I never want to put her down. I often find myself letting her go back to sleep on me after her early morning feeding because I just can't get enough of her. 

She's already on a pretty nice schedule. She eats every three hours during the day, is alert for a half hour or so and then off to sleepy land until I wake her for her next feeding. Then she feeds on demand at night. For over a week now she has been nursing at 8:30 pm each evening and then sleeping until between 12:30-1:30 am and then quickly back to sleep until 4:30-5:30 am and then she'll sleep again until 8:30-9. Her most active time is in the evening, just like when I was pregnant. So this is the only time she struggles to fall asleep. Her daddy usually takes over and snuggles with her until she's off to sleepy land, and then he lays her in her bassinet for the night. 

Poor girl already had her first cold, yucky boogers that her lovely older sister gave her just days after birth. She's also had her first sick visit to the doctors. This past Thursday, Valentines Day, I had to take her in for diaper area issues. We're now using wet paper towels and reusable wipes and a special cream to help her heal. I feel so awful that she's already had her fair share of yuck so early on, but she's quite the trooper and doesn't seem phased by it in the least. I so think she's going to have more of Matt's easy going, laid back personality. That would be a nice contrast to Lauren's crazy (I have to admit most of that she got from her mama ;-)

My favorite part of the day now is bedtime, and not just because it means I can rest my head for a minute, but because it's so much fun to get these girls ready for bed together. I usually wake Olivia around 7:45 and we get the girls in the bath or just get them dressed in pj's. Olivia chills while Lauren does her crazy "runnin" bit (this is where we get her in her pj's and she runs around the upstairs like a crazy girl and daddy and mommy laugh at her antics) and then once Lauren is ready for brushing her teeth, Olivia and I give goodnight hugs and kisses, Matt finishes Lauren's routine of teeth and books, while Olivia and I head downstairs to nurse and snuggle until daddy comes down. Then I hand off Olivia and get myself ready for bed. It might not seem glamorous or riveting  but it's by far my most cherished part of the day. 

I had a few people tell me that going form one kid to two was the hardest but I'm not finding that at all. I think adjusting to Lauren was harder. I say this because with her I had no routine. On maternity leave I didn't have any routine and without a routine, I just flounder. But I have a routine for being home now, I know what to expect on what day (with some flexibility of course) and Olivia just slipped right into the routine without a hiccup. She's a perfect addition, to what I feel like is the perfect little family. Can I hear a big AMEN!!!

"The heavens praise your wonders, Lord, your faithfulness too, in the assemble of the holy ones. for who in the skies above can compare with the Lord? ... Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you." Psalm 89:5-8

Olivia's Big Day!

This is Olivia's birth story. I'm going to write a little preface here reminding you that birth can be yucky, I feel like I use my best judgement but you might want to stop reading now. Also, this is going to a long post. So many details I don't want to forget and the story spans four days- so pardon my long windedness now. Anyway here it goes...

This story starts back on the Wednesday before Olivia was born. That morning I had an appointment and after a disappointing appointment just a week earlier, I had actually made some progress! I was a "generous" 2 cm and 50% effaced, so I left that appointment feeling much better than the week before, when I was 0 cm and 0%. It was then that I started thinking, okay this might be earlier than later. My body was further along than it had been with Lauren, so maybe she would be early too. Because if you remember from many of my previous posts I was mentally preparing myself for a late arrival.

The next evening (Thursday) I started having some regular contractions. They started as braxton-hicks but then started getting more like labor pains. I called Esther and told her what was up (she was awesome and had agreed to take Lauren for us until my MIL could arrive from out of town) and also called my MIL to keep them both informed in case, I did indeed go into labor that night. The contractions kept up pretty well and got more regular as the night moved on, so Esther made her way to our place before heading home to pick up Lauren. I thought it was better to have Lauren go there before bed, then in the middle of the night. Much to my surprise though, the contractions faded away. I had gone into the bedroom to lay down and when I woke up an hour later they were gone. I still however, wasn't convinced I wasn't going to have her since this happened with Lauren. I had contractions all morning, they faded, I napped, I woke, they came back and she was born later that night. That was not the case this day though. They just stopped and that was that. So in the morning I felt a little nuts, having sent Lauren to Esther's and then nothing happening. I actually felt extremely guilty like I had shipped my baby off for no reason. Little did I know this was our dry run, since it was only a few more days and we'd be right back in the same place.

Friday and Saturday passed as normal, well except for Friday's dinner (see this post). Saturday's dinner redeemed me and everyone enjoyed the tuna pasta melt just fine. We put Lauren to bed and then rested ourselves in the bedroom for the evening. Around 9:30 I went to get out of bed and as I heave-hoed myself off the bed I broke my water. Well at first I thought I was peeing myself, so I started laughing at the thought. Then I couldn't stop laughing since each burst of laughter sent more fluid gushing out. Matt was very confused at what brought on my laughing fit. He soon figured out what was going on, since I couldn't catch my breath to tell him. I quickly got myself cleaned up and bless his heart, Matt cleaned up the bedroom floor. 

I called Esther and asked her to come pick up Lauren, and then called my MIL and told her we were headed to the hospital. Lastly, I called the doctor and he told me to come on it. After running around throwing last minute items into the hospital bag (that wretched thing finally got packed back on Thursday evening, about time) and trying to get the rest of the bedroom picked up. Then I had to go up and throw last minute items into Lauren's bag and get her out of bed. By that time Esther was there.

My poor baby, she had no idea what on earth was going on. She was awake but not coherent to what was happening. I strapped her into her car seat, which we had installed in Esther's van on Thursday, and gave her kisses. Matt kissed her and off she went.We got into the car ourselves shortly after that and headed to the hospital. 

I laugh now as I think of this next part, since in hind sight we were being silly. But when we got to the hospital we weren't sure where to park. We had to enter through the ER doors since it was too late to get in woman's wing. So we debated if we should park by the ER or the woman's wing since we'd be leaving through those doors and it would make it easier on Matt when he had to get the car. Since I wasn't having regular contractions and could use the walk we decided on parking at the woman's wing and walked to the ER doors. 

They checked me in and we patiently waited for a labor and delivery nurse to come get us. I used the restroom, Matt got a drink from the vending machine, and we paced the waiting area. After about fifteen, twenty minutes a nurse with a wheel chair showed up. I politely asked if I had to ride in the chair, she said no. I just wanted to keep moving and get these contractions regular.

She took us to our room and got me all hooked up. She then did a litmus test to check for the presence of amniotic fluid. This test came back negative. This baffled me since I knew that I didn't pee myself and I was 100% positive I had broken my water. Shortly after this the doctor came in.

I'm bummed that I was not seeing my doctor, instead I was seeing a "laborist." It was some older guy. I was aware that this might happen. But I have never had a "man" woo-ha doctor, so I was a little apprehensive about it. But the nurse and Matt were in the room the whole time so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Anyway, back to the story. He checked me and said I was a "tight" 3 (which to me is the same as a generous 2). He then ordered another test to check for the presence of amniotic fluid. This test was sent down to the lab and had us waiting again. We sat there listening to the babies heartbeat and wondering what to do, or what they were going to do with me.

About a half hour later the test results came back and were also negative. I was beside myself. If I thought I felt crazy after Thursday night, I felt insane that night. I was so glad Matt was there when it happened because he could attest to the fact, that I did indeed break my water. The doctor explained that these were not foul proof, and they were just indicators. He then said that he was going to keep me overnight since I was having contractions and they would keep an eye on me.

Matt called his mother who had already left her house and was on the road. He told her the situation and they decided it was best for her to turn around and wait to hear from us in the morning. We were pretty sure this baby wasn't coming that night, so there was no need for her to drive through the night. I can't remember if we contacted anyone else, but I'm pretty sure we didn't. So we just got ready for a night in the hospital.

We were both very tired and wanted to rest. So the nurse got Matt some sheets and blankets so he could sleep on the couch in the room and we tried to sleep. Matt did a better job of this than me though. I just laid there. I felt some ease that they hadn't send me home, but I also felt extreme anxiety as to what was going on with my body. Was it ready to give birth? Was it not? What was going to happen? I remember praying a lot!!!  

I listened to my iPod and tried to calm myself with more prayer. I didn't want to lay down because when I laid down the contractions got more irregular and I was afraid they'd stop themselves again, so I stayed propped up in the bed. I think I slept for a total of an hour and a half. By six o'clock Sunday morning I was ready to give into the tears. I was listening to the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns 

I was praying for God to calm me and this song was reminding me that He is in control, that He knows what's going on, He knows when this baby would enter this world and it reminded me how much I need to rely on Him. We have such a loving Heavenly Father who has it all under control and the tears rolling down my cheek were of happiness that our God is so awesome and they were also me surrendering this whole situation to Him.

Some time in the night the nurse came in to check on me and informed me that the doctor had ordered an ultrasound for the next morning. This helped ease my heart and mind. It was like God was saying, I've got this, don't you worry yourself Jennifer!

Matt woke up to my sniffles as my tears started letting up. I informed him about the ultrasound and the wait game continued. A new laborist came on duty and she came in to check on me. She checked me and I was still only 3 cm and had made no change since the last check. She told me again about the ultrasound. I just remember she talked about a million miles an hour. I was still not fully awake and my head was spinning as I tried to listen to what she was saying. 

She had me get up and walk around, which I was grateful for. I was hoping it would help get the labor going and get my contractions more regular. It also was a great distraction from just sitting in the room. There was limited places to walk since I didn't want to go anywhere people could see me and we needed to stay close so they could find us when the ultrasound doctor got there. 

We walked for a good hour or so before we headed to the ultrasound room with the new nurse, Alexa. She came on duty earlier that morning. She stayed with us in the room as the ultrasound doc checked out the baby. It was nice, because he was same doctor we saw for my 20 week ultrasound. He was really nice and the fact that I knew him and liked him helped to relax me a little. That was until he informed us that there was a "normal" amount of water around the baby. 

I was just up in arms at that point. Feeling even more crazy and insane then ever. God didn't leave me hanging though because the doctor soon gave me an explanation as to what might have happened. He hypothesized that, I most likely ruptured my membranes up high, causing amniotic fluid to leak out and collect between the bag of waters and the uterine wall. When I preformed my heave-ho move in bed, this pushed the water out. Then with the fluid gone, the bag of waters flapped back against the uterine wall sealing itself back up. Finally something I could wrap my head around!!

So where do we go from there? He said that we had two options. We could go home but if I had ruptured my amniotic sack (which he believed I had) then there is a risk of infection. To add to infection concern, I was GBS positive- increasing that risk. The second option was they could get me going on some pitocin and have the baby now but this carried some risk too. I was only 37 weeks and 1 day. They consider it "early term." So there was a chance that she wasn't quite ready for the world and might spend some time in the NICU.

He asked us what we wanted to do. I looked at Matt and he looked just exhausted and unsure. He said "whatever you want to do" and I said that I was more comfortable with option two. The doctor agreed that he was more comfortable with the risks of having her now as apposed to waiting and hoping no infection sets in.

We headed back downstairs were I watched Matt continue to look less and less comfortable and communicative. The nurse left us for a minute and we talked about what was bothering him. After being with my husband for eleven years, I'm able to read him like a book, even when he says nothing. I feel like this is an art form I've perfected throughout the years. I asked him what was wrong and what he was thinking. He was more nervous about having her now, then the risk of infection. He wanted to talk to the doctor more about it, so when she came back in we asked to for her to explain it better. After him hearing that if indeed I was to get an infection, there was a chance that the baby could die, I think he quickly thought I few days in the NICU sounded like the better of the two options as well.

The doctor and nurse got to work on getting me all hooked up to the pitocin and ready to go. This was sometime between noon and one o'clock. Matt called his mom and told her to head down, took a shower, and got some food. He need some nourishment and to freshen up in order to keep going. I needed him to be ready to help me through this. Not sure why I didn't seem as effected by the lack of sleep and food- hormones are amazing things.

It wasn't long before my contractions became regular and I began leaking amniotic fluid. This early leaking proved that I had ruptured my bag of waters, and to me it was God saying "you made the right decision." We watched the movie The Patriot on TV as labor continued on. It was then that we had a moment to take the last picture of me with Olivia in my belly.

 

The nurse checked me at four o'clock when the contractions were very regular and getting to be more painful. I was a good 5 cm at that point. I was still able to breath through the contractions and doing just fine. An hour later though, I was feeling the pain pretty bad. I asked if she would check me again, she was apprehensive since it had only been an hour, but I told her I had reached the point where I wasn't sure if I could go on much longer and I wanted to know if I should ask for some pain medicine. 

Now I need to take an aside and fill you in on something. Ever since I had labored with Lauren so quickly I had always wondered if I could labor naturally. Two reasons, one I was pretty much ready to push Lauren out by the time I got the medicine/epidural and two I feel like the medication they gave me during labor made Lauren all loopy causing us to have such awful nursing issues. I really wanted to try and have Olivia without medications and had prayed and prayed for God's hand in this. In fact, do you remember the book we were studying The Circle Maker? (If not check out this post) Well I had been praying circles around having a natural birth. I hadn't shared this with anyone but God. In fact, when I was telling the nurses at the hospital, this was the first time Matt had heard anything about it, and he was quite surprised.

So I was having quite the internal struggle about weather or not I could continue much longer with the pain. I needed to assess the situation and figure out how much further I had to go and if I could continue on. Alexa was very nice and checked me. She found that I was 6-7 cm at about 5:00 pm. I wasn't sure I could hang on for the next three cm so I asked for medicine. 

At this point I had gone into my own little world, where I shut my eyes and don't open them. The pain causing me to just concentrate on getting through each contraction, so all I remember is the sounds of her started to get things out of drawers and opening up cabinets. In fact, I have very little visual memories of the last hour or so of labor, just sounds. What felt like just ten or fifteen minutes later I was asking about the medicine and she was telling me that it was too late for medicine. I remember saying "I can't do this!" and her saying "You're going to have to!" God knew I needed a firm nurse and she proved to be just that. She started firmly giving me commands at this point- which I responded to quite well. She asked to check me again, and I was asking for her not to since the contractions were one right on top of the other and when she was checking I couldn't do anything to help the pain. She again firmly informed me she was going to check me, so I submitted to her request. In just those 10-15 minutes I had gone 2 more cm. 

This whole time Matt was doing a wonderful job of holding my hand at first, then rubbing my back, and then doing the counter pressure against my hips and  back. He was amazing and I'm so grateful for such an awesome labor partner. Many praise to him for hanging in there with me.

Me being 9 cm now, Alexa started calling in the doctor and other nurses. She asked if I felt the pressure to push. I said "yes" but I wasn't sure exactly. I felt nothing with Lauren so I didn't know if the pain I was having was the pressure to push or not. I was nervous to push. I didn't want to and then I realized that some of my pain was coming from me "holding back" the urge to push. So I gave it a try. Well when I pushed the gush came back and then I pushed again and another huge gush of water. It was then I realized that pushing helped the pain. The nurses quickly got the bed set up and put my feet in the stirrups. I have a brief visually memory of the room and everyone in it, including the doctor who was all suited up. It took me three or four more controlled pushes and my sweet little girl was out. Matt laughs and says that I gave one more "war cry" and then a switch flipped when I saw Olivia and I said "Hi my sweet baby" and all was better. 

She was born at 5:36 pm, just twenty minutes after I said I couldn't take the pain anymore. God works miracles! She was born naturally, just like I had asked God for. It was a huge answer to prayer. I had gone 5 cm in just a over an hour. Looking back no wonder I felt like I couldn't take the pain anymore. I can't tell you how each and every person and event was heaven sent!

My little baby was here, 3 weeks early. She is perfect and spent not a minute in the NICU. Right after she was born they put her on my chest and she remained there for her first hour and a half of life. She nursed in that hour. She snuggled and I just gave prayers of thanks to God for such a perfect little girl. I will never forget His wonderful gift to us. Wonderful and perfect. 

It's funny because I can't remember life without her now. It just seems like a different world. She's such a sweet baby. I'm so excited to be along for the ride we call life with her! 

I think this birth story is a great example of why I have chosen the following bible verse as my "life verse"...

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Love Abounds

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

"We love because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19

Day One

Today is the first day alone with my sweet girls. I've been blessed to have my MIL here since we came home from the hospital. She arrived the day Olivia was born, in the late evening. She picked up Lauren the next morning from Esther's house and then came to visit us at the hospital with Lauren. She then bunked in for the next seven days. She was so wonderful helping with meals and the girls. Helping us in so many ways. It was hard to see her leave yesterday but knowing we'll see her again soon helped- either in April or May. 

So today I've given myself a gold star!! Here is why... We got up around 8. I got Olivia up and undressed. She takes a few minutes to wake up from her slumber, so while she was busy waking up I got Lauren up and brought her to our room with about every lovey she had in her bed to join us downstairs. I changed Olivia, nursed her, and then got Lauren on the potty. Matt still needed to eat, so he got Lauren and him eating breakfast while I took care of myself for a minute. After eating and a few temper tantrums (yes we've had a handful of them during the transition from only child to big sisterhood) daddy was off to work. I cleaned up the kitchen and we all made our way upstairs. I got Lauren dressed and did her hair and then Lauren helped picked out Olivia's outfit and we got her changed for the day. Olivia, being a rock star sleeper, passed back out and Lauren and I played as I chatted with my mom and my sister on the phone. These conversations,  although usually a riot, can be very chaotic, as all three of us try and talk about what's going on in our lives. I learned my mom is putting down her cat Isiah today. I'm sad, but happy. He's sick with kidney issues and he will be a happier cat in kitty heaven and he's lived a great life, with a wonderful home since he was a teeny, tiny kitten. I also learned my sister and her family have adopted a dog today! A sweet five year old boarder collie mix from their local rescue shelter. It was great chatting with them since our conversations lately have been short and sweet. My mom will be joining us Friday to help us out and meet Olivia Jean- although I know my mom will add to the crazy, I'm looking forward to seeing her and having time with her. I think it's been since Lauren was born that she has been able to come down just her. My mom and I do best when it's just us visiting- no one to add to our craziness- we seem to make enough without any help. I'm looking forward to some hugs from my mommy as well!

So back to my day...and that gold star. So while Olivia slept the morning away, Lauren and I played and carried on as normal. It was nice to have her all to myself again. It made me realize how much I had missed it being just us two (plus our sleeping beauty now). After the few tantrums at breakfast this morning things settled down to normal, Amen, and it felt like it did just a few weeks before, which was a good feeling for both of us to have I'm sure.

Before we knew it, it was time to wake up Olivia to nurse. Lauren played in the nursery as I feed Olivia. It was too precious. There have been a handful of moments all day that I just was taken back by how wonderful my big girl is! After Olivia was done, I hoped in the shower. Olivia chilled (aka slept) in the bouncy chair and Lauren read her "Hello Kitty" books on the stool in the bathroom with me. I have a whole audience now while I wash myself- oh the joys of being a mom. I was excited to put on my first pair of non-maternity pants on today. They are by no means my skinny jeans, but they fit nicely and I don't have to hike them up every time I change position, woohoo!

After my shower was lunch. Olivia, again sleeping like a champ, chilled while Lauren and I enjoyed some lunch. Another sweet moment came during lunch. Olivia made some gurgling noises and Lauren said "Libia okay?" and showed concern for her- I told her Olivia was just fine and asked if she wanted me to turn her so she could watch her- Lauren said yes. My mama heart leaped with love! 

I was able to check my email and facebook while Lauren spent sometime on the potty. Then we headed upstairs to play "food" and we took a moment to call daddy. After playing for an hour it was time to nurse Olivia again. This time Lauren sat in her purple reading chair and read books while I nursed. Then it was time to get Lauren ready for nap. I laid Olivia in her crib and Lauren and I shared our special pre-nap time together. Another thing I deeply missed this past week. On one hand I'm grateful for someone else taking on these daily tasks with Lauren so I could bond and have alone time with Olivia, and on the other hand I'd deeply missed my one on one time with Lauren. I guess it's just going to take me some time to get use to being a mommy of two, and having to learn to give and take with each child.

After Lauren was in her bed, snug as a bug, Olivia and I headed down stairs. She was actually having an awake moment so we just laid together on my bed and chatted. I so cherish those moments. She's such a sleepy head, just like Lauren was, and when she is awake and alert, I can't get enough!  But it wasn't long before she passed out on me and so I decided I had better write this post, because Lord knows I won't have the energy later.

So here it is 4:10 and I've got an hour and a half before Matt gets home. Both girls sleeping and I've had time to talk to Esther and get this post complete. I'm looking forward to our evening together as a family of four. Last night was so much fun dressing the girls for bed together. As I was dressing them I realized they had matching onesies- so I put them both in their pink "Faded Glory" onesie and we took some pictures. Here are few...

...it makes me smile just looking at them. Tonight, we will attempt two baths. I'll be attending to Olivia's sponge bath downstairs as Matt gets to wrangle Lauren in the tub upstairs. I look forward to having Olivia's "stump" fall off so we can give her a normal bath- with Lauren? Well have to see how that works. Just one of the many bonding moments these girls will enjoy together.

Oh how I pray they enjoy each other and grow up knowing how lucky they are to have each other. There is a special bond between two sisters that I know I've enjoyed all my life (well "occasionally" my sister and I didn't get along...lol...okay mostly we drove each other nuts, but I wouldn't trade her in for the world). May God help them to enjoy each other and lean on each other for their whole lives. I'm not rushing things but I do enjoy that they will share a bedroom someday and so many memories together. Oh, I better end this now... 

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

She's Here!!!!

I'm happy to say that we've welcomed Olivia Jean into our wonderful, crazy family!! We're happy to be family of four now! It's been almost a week since Olivia blessed us with her presence. Here are a few pictures. I'm anxious to get her story down on here, but it will have to wait for now. She beat her sister coming out a full three weeks early. All that worrying for nothing (always works that way huh). 

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

   bind them around your neck,

   write them on the tablet of your heart.

Then you will win favor and a good name

   in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

   and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

   and he will make your paths straight."

~ Proverbs 3:3-6 ~