Friday, January 18, 2013

My Prayer Life

I have previously mentioned in a post that my church is doing a book study on the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I have been reading the youth/student version of the book, since our youth are participating too. The youth started before the rest of the church, putting me a little ahead, where Matt and I have just started for our Sunday school class this past week. I've been reading, highlighting, wondering, praying, and reading some more. I'm blown away by what the author is saying, in a good way, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'll have to remember to do another post after I've finished both the youth book and the Sunday school participate guide (goes with DVD we'll be watching).

The author's prayer philosophy is that we need to pray big and if we pray big and ask God for things we couldn't accomplish/obtain without God then these prayers will honor God because they will show his true glory. The concept makes perfect sense, and yet I'm not sure what to pray for these day. I can tell you numerous prayers of the past that fall under this category of a "big prayer" but as I read it now I keep wondering what God wants me to pray for now?

The author writes about how God isn't a genie and he doesn't grant our every wish and he also discusses how we need to line our prayers up with God. I keep reading and keep wondering... well how do I do that? How do I pray for the next big miracle in my life when I don't know what God wants for me or what I want for myself. I hope this isn't sounding like I'm writing in circles, although, I feel like my thought process is going in circles so maybe this post is too.

I feel so blessed with the "miracles" my life has seen already. I couldn't have dreamed up a more wonderful husband and feel truly blessed that God picked Matt and I out for each other. I can tell you that God's handy work was in our meeting, dating, engagement and is still in the middle of our marriage. Finding the right man for me is a true miracle in my eyes and I give Him all the credit.

My babies are true miracles to. I feel like Matt and I prayed them into being and that God's breath brought them to life and has kept them going strong. I look at Lauren daily and give thanks for God loving me so much that he blessed me with her. There was a time when I just prayed/begged God for the miracle I now call Lauren and for the one on the way too. Anyone who knows me personally, knows I say that I don't understand how people have babies and don't believe in God, because oh my what a miracle any child is!

Me staying home another miracle. I know that it was my hearts desire for a long time, even before I had Lauren or we started thinking about having Lauren. This prayer was started in my heart way back in middle school when I started babysitting. My passion for children started way before then but my desired to be a stay at home mom began when I babysat and realized what it takes to raise good, God loving children. I'm not saying it's the only way, it's just the way that fits me and my family best. Please also note that I'm in awe of those mom's I know that raise wonderful children and work full time too- bless their hearts. It's just not me, I'd crumble like a stale cookie in that situation. I've watched God bring about many miracles as Matt and I pray to provide for our small family with one income. I've shared many of them on here. This situation has pushed us more than ever to rely on His will and provisions, Amen for each testimony to His love!

So with those few miracles highlighted, I wonder what God has in store for me next. I wonder what my next big dream will be. I know I have lots of things I would love to see happen in my lifetime, so maybe I'll start there. Dreaming big for my children and their lives. Praying big for how God will use them as they grow strong with him to bear his good fruit. I pray for that in my life as well- but I pray that I do it in such a way that everyone who knows me, knows my love for our Heavenly Father.

Heard this song today while Lauren and I played picnic with all her stuffed animals. It made me think of this post, which was sitting in as a draft, and thought it was the perfect song for how I feel. Happy Waiting and Happy Praying!

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