Sisterly Love...I Think...

I'm not sure what my expectations were when we brought Olivia home in concerns with Lauren's reactions. I thought she'd be interested in what this new 'thing' was, but other than that I really didn't have too many expectations. I knew it wasn't going to be 'story book' love and I figured Lauren might act out a little due to the 'lime light' being shared and all. But pretty much Lauren went about her day like Olivia wasn't really a bother or a point of interest. Occasionally she would fuss and mumble about not wanting Olivia near her or Olivia "playing" this or that. She's only held her once or twice for about a millisecond and then ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction after I've released her of this awful task. On the flip side, she always seems to be interested in her at diaper changing time- getting wipes or diapers to help Matt or I out. But to be honest I think she was more interested in checking out how much poop was in the diaper rather than checking on Olivia, ha she cracks me up. I've asked her to help bounce Olivia in the bouncer seat or rock her in her car seat (both my girls hate/hated to be placed in that carrier, but as soon as it's in motion, whether it be from rocking or being walked out the door the fussiness stops) and she will often comply with my request to help me out. A few times she's even done it on her own. But still, three months into this gig she's not goo-goo, ga-ga about her little sister.

To be honest part of me was a little sad that she wasn't more interested or excited. Especially when other children her age, like Caitlyn, show a lot more interest in her. I wonder, "Am I doing something wrong?" I know that I love having a sister and I want Lauren and Olivia to enjoy it too. Even growing up I felt lucky to have a sibling to play with and share that special sibling bond with (even if part of me always wished she was a boy and not a girl, sorry Shauna- but if it makes up for it I'm soooo glad I have a sister now). Even though Shauna and I could fight like cats and dogs I knew she was my sister and nothing would ever change that.

So as time has pasted I have had it on my heart- is there anything I can do? Well God just always knows what we need and when we need it, and for this I'm so grateful. I was catching up on some blogs in my down time this weekend and I was reading one, just a small paragraph that made a huge impact on my thinking. The writer spoke about how you really can't force things when it comes to children. I agree whole heartily with this opinion and would probably say the same to a friend if I were giving advise, but I never thought about it in this context. So I've decided, no I can't do anything other than foster a loving environment which will naturally allow them to form their special connection/bond when they're ready.

To one up me, God sent me another moment to ease my heart. We were in the bathtub tonight and I got a glimpse of what is to come as these two girls continue to grow and form a bond together. Olivia was done getting washed, just hanging out in the tub for a bit and she started to slowly slide off her bath seat (which mind you is really annoying but the seat was a free hand-me-down so who am I to complain) as she kicked her legs about. Eventually her foot came into contact with Lauren and I watched and waited for Lauren's reaction. It took a good 30 seconds before Lauren said "I don't want my sister next to me." I know I'm going to confuse you when I say how happy that statement made me. It was the first time Lauren had referred to Olivia as her sister. How neat to witness that. Then Lauren decided to interact with Olivia. She took a cup and put it on her foot like a peg-leg. I was so happy and praising her up and down for how silly she was being with her sister. Matt enjoyed witnessing the interaction. While it was a brief moment, to me it was the beginning of a lot of silliness I feel we're going to see between these two girls! It was God saying, don't worry Jennifer, I got this.

I pray that as Olivia and Lauren get older they'll begin to enjoy each other more and more. I pray and hope I look back on this post two or three years from now and laugh because I can't separate the two. They are so lucky to have one an other. Both such huge blessing from our loving Lord. We're such lucky parents to be able to watch their journey unfold!

"Lord, you are my God;

I will exalt you and praise your name,

for in perfect faithfulness 

you have done wonderful things,

things planned long ago."

Isaiah 25:1