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Friday, August 16, 2013

Our Legacy

This is my "deep thoughts" post I was alluding to back here. I don't often have time these days to think beyond poop, boogers, and dinner but lately I've found myself thinking about what we leave behind when we're gone. I know that might sound a bit morbid- but stick with me here. 

I remember when I was younger and people would tell me that 'You're just like your dad..'. or 'You're just like your mom...' I love my parents and now would find that to be a complement but back then I wanted to be Jennifer not Sharon or Mike. When I noticed that I would do or say something the way they would, I would roll my eyes and tell myself to not do that again. I don't want to 'turn into them' I would think. These days, especially when I miss them, I have a different outlook. 

I feel very blessed to have both of my parents still with me on earth. It often pains me that we live so far away, but that's how it is and unless God has plans to move us back home that is how it will remain. I don't take for granted anymore the qualities that I now posses because they're my parents. 

My mom, although very run by her emotions, is very loving and compassionate. She is a lover of all things God created and has a big heart to show it. I know that my large heart and loving, nurturing side come from her. All those hugs she gave me in my life are being passed along to my daughters. And I pray that they pass those same hugs and kisses on to their children too. My mother also gave me my crazy side. She can be very goofy and has a loud, roaring laugh that I can hear in my head as I type this. She is, as I already stated, highly emotional- in both good and bad ways. I know that I also inherited some of this from her too...even though it is a side of me I have to keep in check, it's something I get from her and so I cherish that quality.

From my dad I get my logical and grounded side. He is very process oriented and having things concrete and organizable is good. From him I get my tidy side. I get my love for making things work and enjoying the finished product of a task. I have his inability to tell a joke and his eyes.

My parents are both very outgoing and can talk to anyone. Heck, my mom will tell a random stranger her whole life story, as long as they're willing to listen. And my dad can ramble on for hours. This is something else I've picked up from the both of them- I've made friends in the bathroom so you see I've got these gifts too! They are also the type of people who like to be in the "driver's seat" - or hum how do I say this, like to be the one calling the shots. And I have also inherited this wonderful trait (I'm not sure you can tell how sarcastically I'm saying this statement). It's that old saying, 'if you want something done right, do it yourself' mentality. This can be a curse and a blessing, it all depends on the situation. But good, bad, or indifferent- that's us.

So as I contemplate all the wonderful, and maybe not so wonderful, traits I've picked up from my parents I think that I'm their legacy. A little of them will always live on in me. The same is to be said of my children. The crazy quirks that scream "Jennifer's child" as I watch Lauren grow and interact with the world around her are the gifts I'm giving to this world.

I once heard on the radio that you shouldn't kiss and hug your children so they kiss and hug you back, but so that they too will kiss and hug their children. I often think of that when I'm showering my girls with unconditional love and sometimes get very little in return. On the days when I feel I just give and give of myself- that is when I remember, I give them love so they intern will give love to the world. 

When talking with a friend who is about to a dad for the first time I told him that this is the best job of my life, but it can also be the hardest, most tiring  and most thankless job I've ever had too. I wouldn't trade any moment though. Not the temper tantrums or saying the same thing 500 times just to say it 501. I hope that Lauren and Olivia someday are able to understand that the part of them they get from me is a gift and I hope they can embrace how special that is, just as I'm doing.

 Mom and I on my wedding day.

Dad and I on my wedding day

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10

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