So we moved into our amazing new house this past July. We love our house, it is a blessing times a million. We were in our house a little over a month when I got the positive pregnancy test. I was so shocked. I didn't expect it but I was super excited for it. I wanted to wait a bit to think of some fun way to tell Matt but that didn't happen because I live a real life over here. You see I had a feeling I was expecting even before the test results proved my intuition to be correct. I had been having infection symptoms and need to see a doctor to get medications. Due to all of this, the surprise was dismissed and I told Matt- who was as taken back as I with the speediness of it all. Anyway, we had planned a fun trip to a water park that day, something we had never done with the girls before but we had passes and wanted to take advantage of them, but that morning I had to call the doctors. So in I went got my medications and we set off to the water park. Here's a few pictures of that day.
The girls had a blast and have spoken of going back ever since. But that was our last hurrah before normal mommy became zombie mommy.
Almost as soon as September set in so did my ever wonderful day sickness. I'm not sure who coined the term "morning sickness" but I consider them to be lucky because with every single pregnancy my sickness lasts all day long. This time on top of that I've had chronic infections (they just keep coming back- so annoying) and I had migraines through most of my 1st trimester. I had never had a migraine before so it was almost 4 of 5 weeks before I figured out what was going on. They were almost always stressed induced. Because I was stressed and pushed beyond my own capabilities through September and the beginning of October.
You see this pregnancy was more of a "if it happens, it happens" type of adventure. We wanted another sweet one for sure, don't get me wrong, every child is a blessing beyond measure! So the whole month of September was a bit busy to say the least. First, we were beginning our official adventures in homeschooling. Lauren entered Kindergarten and now I had to fill out forms and at the end of the year we have to provide evidence of achievement- a bit more official then the preschooling I had done the years previous. Then on top of that I had two to three days each week where I was watching Brooke and Norah for Sarah. Brooke was 4 and Norah was 9 months at the time. So adding two more to an already crazy full house, enough said. Then you top that off with the fact that we had just moved and things were by no means settled around here. We still had boxes of stuff in the garage, blank walls, unorganized stuff just laying around- aka things sitting there reminding me that I had stuff to do and no time/energy to do it. And then we also had lots of visiting grandparents (this was more of a blessing than anything but just something else added to the crazy). So if you're a math person like me, you can add all that up:
day sickness + 1st year homeschooling + extra kids + unfinished moving + life in general = one stressed, tired, cranky, headachy woman!
Once I discovered they were stressed triggered migraines I was able to take some Tylenol and better prepare myself for them but that wasn't until I was a good 4 weeks into this migraine thing. Basically I would wake up somewhat okay. Then as the morning wore on I would just feel overwhelmed with anything sensory. Lights were too bright, noises were too loud, smells were too smelly, I didn't want to be touched- I remember talking to my sister on the phone and describing this and feeling like I was on the spectrum. It was an overload to the extreme. On top of all that there was never ending pain in my head and neck. Because this fun migraine adventure I struggled with watching Norah. She herself was going through I bit of a rough time, since she was having chronic ear infections, which I was unaware of, and she would spend her days crying and crying. Needing to be held all the time. A huge stresser for me. And I had four other children to attend to! Please feel free to reread the description above about how the migraines made me feel and I swear to you there were some days I wanted to cry right along with her and might have had it not hurt more to do so. It was awful. My mom and step-dad visited at the end of September for a week and it was then, when see took over my roll as mommy and I got to lay all day that I realized they were headaches/migraines. So I was able to find a bit of relief in Tylenol but that just took the edge off, I still had many not so fun days with and without Norah.
One other big reason I struggle so much with the 1st trimester is because of my previous experience with miscarriages during this time. God now holds four sweet little ones of ours in his hands in heaven. All of my girls are rainbow babies and so I so struggle with getting through that time so I can stop holding my breath for the 'bad' to happen. This is the first time I've gotten pregnant and stayed pregnant without having a miscarriage first. Let me tell you I much prefer it this way. But because of the past cycle- get pregnant, miscarry, get pregnant, stay pregnant- it was very hard for my head and heart to get on the same page. During the worst of it all, the month of September, I kept telling God if he needed to take this baby (for whatever reason) this was it. I. Was. Done! Having three running around and trying to keep all of life moving was exhausting enough but I couldn't/wouldn't do this to myself again. You know some people say that feeling like crap during the first trimester is a good sign- well I've felt like crap a total of eight times now- yes all eight, no matter the outcome. I was just dead tired. We had just gone through a roller coaster of emotional and physical exhaustion with the house selling and buy process I was throwing in the towel if something happened with this one. I told Matt that if this baby went home to heaven then that was God's sign to me that we were meant to have three. I talked very bluntly to God in my prayers during that month- I was too tired to do anything but. And God answered right back at me and this baby is an answer to those dark time prayers. I'm not sure that I've expressed this the right way here or that it will make sense to anyone outside of my own self, but sometimes there are things for God and me to share and comprehend that no one else will quiet grasp because they're not me and that's okay with me. But I write on here for me, so I'm putting it all down.
Let's just say I was glad when September ended and as October moved forward. Things seemed to settle a bit more. By the end of October I was doing much, much better. I was watching Brooke and Norah way less since their grandparents had returned from their trip. When Matt's parents came at this time so we could enjoy a day trip to celebrate 11 years of marriage, I have a vivid memory of getting up at the crack butt of dawn and accomplishing a project around the house (putting up a shelf above the washer and dryer). It was the first time I had energy and the drive to do anything related to the house since the end of August. Plus, having them here meant I had help with the kids during the day so I could expend more energy in the morning and since I'd get a break in the middle of the day.
By November I was feeling much better and we had the joy of having Matt's brother and girlfriend down with Matt's parents for a visit. Then we geared up for having my mom and step-dad back for 10 days at Thanksgiving, as well as my sister's family in for 5 days too (coinciding with my mom being here and the Thanksgiving holiday). It was a busy season for visits this fall. Everyone was excited about the house and we sure needed the help around here so they were all welcomed visits for sure. It is such a blessing to have a guest bed again!
Anyway back to the baby. One of the biggest difference this time has been baby's big sisters. Lauren is so much older (6 now!) and she knew before we told her. She looked at me one day prior to us officially telling them I'm pregnant and said "You look like you have a baby in your belly!" Speaking of my already growing belly. I was taken back by her, as I often am, intuition. This time we decided to bring the two big girls to the 12 week ultrasound in mid October to announce to them/show them the baby in mommy's belly. They had no idea until they saw the picture on the flat screen hanging on the wall. They were both in disbelief at first. Lauren was much more aware of what it all meant and kept saying "there's a baby in mommy's belly!" and "I can't believe there is a baby in mommy's belly!" with such joy and excitement. That was so neat to watch. It's the first time my little ones are interested in me being pregnant. She's frequently asked the size of the baby and what the baby can do. It's been fun. I've only cracked open the What to Expect When You're Expecting book when she's asked me questions. The other day at High School Bible study one of the girls asked if the baby could hear- we had to look it up. I mean I was pretty sure it could at this stage but wasn't 100%. Things are different with number 4.
For instance, one thing I think any mom of more than one will tell you and that is that life slips through your fingers. Days go by so fast, though some seem to drag on like a bad dream, for the most part days fly by. Before you know it the week is gone and then the month and then the year. I mean really, how on earth is Lauren Shea 6?!?! I tell you each new baby makes time fly at a exponentially faster rate. It defies physics if you ask me. So this pregnancy is just flying by. I can't believe I'm in the third trimester all ready. Once November hit and I was feeling more 'me' and less 'zombie' it picked up the pace like we were sprinting for the finish already. But the second trimester always goes quick for me because it's my favorite. Your body looks less 'fat' and more 'pregnant.' You start to feel movement. You're not a hot mess with sickness. You are still small enough that you can move about with some ease. I always say I could be pregnant forever during this phase. My mind is not stressed about the babies health anymore. My spirits are up. People know and are excited to share with us. And if you choose, you can find out what you're having!
We again took the big girls with us to the 20 week ultrasound to find out the gender. It was so different this time. With Lauren I wasn't sure until I saw her face in a 4D ultrasound and then I knew she was a she. Then with both Olivia and Audrey, Lauren had them both pegged as sisters. In fact, she was so sure I just expected them to be girls. This time however, she had no intuition. That should have been my first clue. I've never had any intuition about my babies before the ultrasound tech showed us. When asked, Olivia wanted a brother and Audrey said "sisah" but I'm convinced she doesn't even have a concept of the word "brother" so of course she would say sister. But as you've probably already figured out, this time God decided to spice life up and he blessed us with our first baby boy! I guess the ultrasound tech wanted us to have no questions about that fact since she gave us four different pictures showing us that indeed he was a he! Matt was a bit taken back and when the tech left to get the doctor he asked to look at the pictures to be sure. Well I was sure. In fact, I called it out before she said anything. I had seen enough girls to know this wasn't one!
This time I already had a girl name selected. I was so ready to name her Rachel, but alas that name will not be used on my sweet little boy! This time around has been so tough since I feel like boy names aren't as fun as girl names. We had names selected for all three girls by this point in the pregnancy but not this time. I struggle so much because I don't like names that can be shortened. I think growing up Jennifer and everyone under the sun wanting to call me Jenny, which I don't like, drove me nutty. So that might explain why I like names that are what they are, end of story. Matt prefers more traditional names, as do I. So there are not many boy names that can't be shortened and have to be six letters...okay don't laugh or roll your eyes like Matt does but all three girls have 6 letters in their first name and 4 letters in their middle name. Also, the first names are special names to them- no one in the extended family shares that name- but their middle names are all family names. So now that I started that trend it's hard to just change it up, for me at least. So the search is on...still. I have a name I really like but Matt isn't 100% for. But hey, it took a bit for him to get on my side with Olivia so maybe he'll come around! Optimism is good for the soul. But I'm not going to write it here, yet. You'll have to wait until baby boy is born to see what we select.
Food cravings have been somewhat different for all of my pregnancies. The only thing that remained the same with all of them is meat. I crave me beef, pork and chicken- all of it. I love me some Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches and a good burger loaded with lots of yummy stuff. Hot dogs, ham, and deli sandwiches loaded with meat. Oh I must need the protein. Maybe that's why I've had such hairy babies! But with Lauren I had an aversion to yogurt- a staple food for me. But other than that I don't remember anything specific. Olivia I wanted anything and everything sweet- but especially ice cream with peanut butter on top. Then Audrey I don't remember anything specific (similar to Lauren) that I wanted I just wanted it all. Now this one I'm enjoying salty things and pickles. I've eaten a half a jar of pickles in a sitting and have purchased more jars during this pregnancy than the past 6 years previous to it. Just writing this makes me want to get some out and eat them!
Okay, I'm back from my pickle binge. Oh another comparison between the pregnancies is how I've carried them. Lauren and Audrey I carried very low. My hips were a hot mess (heck they still are to some degree), more so with Audrey since she was #3. Olivia I carried higher, so high that she gave me chronic heartburn through the whole pregnancy- sending me to the ER in 1st trimester because it was so bad I was having chest pains! Oh that was a fun day...err not. This little guy is more like Olivia and my hips have been much better this time around. Well that is until this week. I know I've entered the 3rd trimester since I can't sleep because I can't get comfortable and I toss and turn all night. If I sleep on my left side my right hip hurts and if I sleep on my right side limbs fall asleep- thus making me flop around like a fish, a very wide fish, a very slow fish. I've also had some trouble with heartburn so who knows. All I know is there is nothing "special" to this pregnancy that makes me feel like I'm carrying a boy and not a girl. All those old wives tails are just that. Well I take that back, his heart rate might have been an indicator since he followed the "boy" trend. He has been in the 140's pretty much the whole time (since 10 weeks when we heard it for the first time). Where the girls started higher, in the 150's, and then slowed over time to settle in the 140's.
The last thing I'm going to ramble on about is the prep for a baby boy. With Lauren I decorated the nursery in green and purple with kind of a garden/flower theme. I didn't change that for either of the other girls. I just washed what I had and slapped it right back on the crib. Instead of focusing on the crib/nursery when baby girl #2 and #3 came along, I focused on the prep for the older child. Getting a big bed and the accessories for that. It was nice, I saved a lot of money that way. This time however, we're focused on both- a big girl bed for Audrey and boy decor for the crib and other things. I was very good at purchasing a 'gender neutral' stroller/ car seat, bouncy seat, swing etc. But I wanted the nursery to be girly. Now I want to make sure that this boy is not mistaken for anything but a boy! Following three girls is going to be hard enough already. Also, Audrey and baby boy are going to share a room. So thinking of a gender neural theme and color that are very "girl" and very "boy" that coordinate has been fun. Let's just say I've been on Pinterest a LOT these days.
I've decided on stars. I'm still not sure how but I want to do a homemade star wall decoration with a bible verse. I've got three I'm thinking about - Psalm 148:3, Daniel 12:3 and Philippians 2:14b-16 (see below and vote if you think one is better than the others). I want to make a lamp shade with silver stars painted on it. I've gotten purple sheets for Audrey's bed and I've gone with navy blue for baby boy's crib. I'm still waiting on the crib bumper I ordered off ebay but I've got a plan navy crib sheet and a crib sheet with navy stars. The crib skirt and bumper are just white with navy strips. I've gotten a navy changing pad cover. The next big tasks is to go to Joann's and pick out fabrics for the quilts Ester and her mom are going to make for them. Her mom made the quilts on the big girls beds and it is so special. I felt very blessed that they were willing to do two more! But I need to go there when I can look around and really take my time. Plus, I still need to finish my measurements so I know how much to purchase. Just so much to be done, but just like the other rooms in the house these days...it'll be a work in progress for a while. I figure in about ten years I'll have each room as it should be, lol! Or not.
All I know is that we feel blessed beyond measure with so much these days. A new house, a new baby, and a whole lot more- all blessings from our wonderful Heavenly Father. Oh I pray so often that as my little ones grow up that they see the evidence of God working in their lives, in our lives as a family. He is ever present and always loving. I pray their hearts see that so they can grab hold of his promises. Because when I look at our lives I see his finger prints on each and every moment.
Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars. ~Psalm 148:3
Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. ~Daniel 12:3
Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure...Then you will shine among them like STARS in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. ~Philippians 12:14b-16
All I know is that we feel blessed beyond measure with so much these days. A new house, a new baby, and a whole lot more- all blessings from our wonderful Heavenly Father. Oh I pray so often that as my little ones grow up that they see the evidence of God working in their lives, in our lives as a family. He is ever present and always loving. I pray their hearts see that so they can grab hold of his promises. Because when I look at our lives I see his finger prints on each and every moment.
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| Here I am with my sweet and crazy girls. As you can tell it's Olivia's birthday. |
Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars. ~Psalm 148:3
Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. ~Daniel 12:3
Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure...Then you will shine among them like STARS in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. ~Philippians 12:14b-16
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