Today was one of those days. I felt like I was moving through wet cement. I was getting stuff done but every time I turned around something else needed my attention. I couldn't get the morning routine done fast enough. It might have to do with the fact that I've been blessed for the past four day with Matt home helping me. I sure did miss his presence today. He had off Monday for President's Day and then yesterday we got a heap load of snow (to my northern friends we just a dusting). So Matt's boss sent an email suggesting they work from home. Matt can't really do that too well since he needs the hardware elements to test the software and we don't have any of that stuff at home. So he get a few hours of work done during nap time that he was able to do from home. But he was ours the rest of the day! So today I was just in slow motion without my partner in crime.
I finally got to starting school an hour later than usual and we got on a roll. We were doing well but we were later than usual since we started later. So it wasn't until I was about to start a new lesson/project that I noticed Olivia standing on the chair funny. Any mom who's ever potty trained knows that look and that stance. Sure enough she had an accident. I felt bad for her- she's been accident free for some time now but her and Lauren had an extra drink this morning and both girls had gulped it down fast. It was also right around an hour and a half since she had gone last so had I been paying attention better I might have helped her to avoid it. We cleaned up the mess and I put her on the potty incase she wasn't all done. With new clothes on I decided to save that lesson/project for later and get started on lunch since it was passed our normal lunch time as well. I put out some grapes and the girls were munching on them as I prepared the rest of lunch. Lauren and Olivia were playing some game too. After getting the plates almost ready I turned around to see Olivia standing there in her wet pants. Again. It had been less than a half hour from her first accident and she never once told me that she needed to used the bathroom. I was frustrated since we had just reviewed how to tell mommy if you have to go, a half hour earlier. But she hadn't so we went through the clean up process again. It has been a long time since she has had two accidents in one day but again I reminded myself about all the extra drink and just took some nice deep breaths. And like any good mom reminded her again to tell mommy if you have to go to the potty.
We finally sat down to eat. Lunch was good and the girls must have been hungry or my cooking is just that good (hehehe) because they ate it all up. I was getting little Olivia's face cleaned up and I said to her, let's go use the potty since we drank so much today. I picked her up only to find that she already had that idea and had yet another accident. Oh by this time I was no longer calm as a cucumber and my patience was out the window. I fussed at her about telling mommy and so on. I got her cleaned up again but this time a little more begrudgingly. Could this day be anymore of a stinker?!?! I was trying to get over the slow morning, the cut short school lessons, and the first two accidents, not to mention the lack of pep in my step and I wasn't catching a break.
Still I forged ahead and after cleaning up Olivia for the third time, I cleaned up lunch. The whole time I cleaned up I was so grateful for my third baby being in my belly and not adding any more to the crazy. I was thankful each accident had happened in the kitchen allowing for very easy clean up. I was also thinking about how I really didn't want to put my little accident girl in snow clothes now. So as I plopped down in the living room chair, I told Lauren "I think mommy is too tired to go outside and play in the snow." But she looked crushed and said "You can do it mommy." I told you these girls have a way of making me have energy when I feel like there is none left to give and a smile too. So I rallied and we went outside to play in the snow. They played and ran around (okay Olivia just walks like a one year old unsure of how to navigate the snow but Lauren was running) and I shoveled around the cars. Matt had so nicely moved my car back before going to work in hopes that the sun would melt the last bit of snow but there was too much for that so I finished the job. Then we played in the backyard making snow angels and going around in the sleds. Then we decided to build a snowman. Before we knew it, it was time to head in and get ready for naptime.
We got in and undressed from all the snow gear only to find out Olivia had yet again peed in her pants. This time I was too upset for words. I don't mind that she peed per say, this is not what was upsetting me- what I was upset about was that again she didn't say a word to me. I feel like she is very capable to doing this. So I went about getting her cleaned up again. This time though she was the one upset. She cried and cried- not because of me fussing, no. I went back to being that calm cucumber because I was too upset to be upset (you ever get that way?) and I was just cleaning her up with not a word coming from my mouth. She on the other hands was a slobbery mess.
I was also happy the nap diaper was coming on. Always looking for that silver lining. I already had an extra load of laundry, I didn't need to add sheets on top of that. We got ready for bed with special prayers for handling life's hardships and extra hugs and kisses.
But now I sit here in the quiet of the house. With Olivia sleeping like a sweet baby and Lauren playing trains and it all seems so insignificant. Isn't that funny how we get so caught up in the moment of crazy that surrounds us and when we're removed from it, it doesn't seem so bad. Instead, I am remembering the fun of each lesson we learned at school. Both girls drew a sweet family portrait that melted my heart. We had fun playing outside and building a silly snowman. I enjoyed the small moments where I got to be silly with them or snuggle for a few seconds in between the other stuff. Those are the moments I want to think about as I fall asleep. Those moments that God made just for me and them. These girls aren't going to be this little for long and yes I will remember the crazy but I want more than anything to remember the love. The moments where Lauren runs into the room with a smile from ear to ear to tell me her exciting news or when Olivia just runs to you out of nowhere to hug you and giggle.
So if this day was slow and not much got accomplished, I pray that what did get accomplished was showing my girls just how much mommy loves them. Weather it is showing mercy, compassion, and forgiveness for a lesson still needing to be learned or by rallying extra energy to make sure they feel special and loved and worth every ounce of my being. I might not have been able to get through half of my school lessons today but I hope that the lesson learned is bigger than anything I can say to them across the table. May my actions, words, and life model to them what true love is - even on the days when I'm walking through wet cement.
Olivia, Our Snowman, & Lauren
Their family portraits- both of them including their baby sister
without me saying anything- what more could a mama ask for?!
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12, 14
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