And all God's people said...

"AMEN!"

That's what I'm saying today for two reasons. First at today's doctor appointment I'm proud to say not only did I not gain any more weight but lost a pound and some ounces. After last appointment's seven pound jump, yikes, I'm doing better. My doctor's nurse asked with concern "you're still eating, right?" and yes I'm still eating, just being more careful about what I put in my mouth and walking a lot more.

This brings me to my second reason for a big amen. Today on our afternoon walk Lauren and I saw a stuffed Minnie Mouse on the edge of someone's lawn. It looked quiet lonely and in nice shape so I'm sure some little girl is missing it and it had accidentally fallen from a bag. The route we took today took us down this particular side street twice. On the first pass we talked about it and how someone must have dropped her and that I'm sure they're looking for her. On the second pass Lauren just watched her as we walked on by and she was no longer visible. 

We finish our walk, get back in the house and it was pretty much nap time. So we do our routine: potty, pick out books, hop into bed and read them, and then prayers and snuggles. Each afternoon when we say prayers I ask Lauren who she wants to pray for. Most days its "Dada, Mama, Bo Bear (Annabelle), baby, Bunny Night-Night, Kitty Night-Night, Bibbit Night-Night (frog)" or some version of that. If we've had someone over, like a friend, or visited someone they can often be thrown into the mix of usual people. Today however, her only response was "Minnie Mouse outside."

All I can say is that I knew my daughter was very compassionate but this even took me off guard. I mean wow! My two year old just showed me that she knows what prayer is for and why we use it. I'm not completely sure she can verbally express this but she's internalized why we pray- we pray to God for those who need God. She felt that lonely looking Minnie Mouse needed God today. My little Gift from God just never stops amazing me. But this time I made sure after coming downstairs that I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for my compassionate, God loving girl- I'm not sure that I can fully express all the emotions I feel from that moment, but it sure is one I'll never forget!

Lauren is just a week old and this is one of my
favorite pictures of her, even to this day.
I felt like she knew God and was praying to
him even before we ever taught her. 

"The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." Psalm 145:9

Nap Time, Oh Sweet Nap Time

I often write/read blogs during nap time. Lauren is a A+, gold star napper, and that can't make a mama happier. She will often give me at least two hours of radio silence to do my thing. I enjoy this time and often use it to get stuff done on my list for that day. Sometimes I procrastinate that list by being on here. Today I didn't really have too much on my list, which is a nice welcomed break. Christmas is taken care of, minus the one last trip I need to make to the post office tomorrow (might I add everything is sitting in a pile by the back door all ready to go, gold star for mama). I'm not reading any books right now. I haven't started any new projects, although there are a few I should. So here I find myself blog reading and writing. 

Before writing this today though I did start my "To Pack" list for the hospital bag. Wow, we're getting that close that I'm starting to think of this whole labor and delivery thing. This time is much more complicated since I'll be packing a bag for Lauren as well. My great friend Esther has agreed to take Lauren at whatever wee hour I  need her when labor begins, what a great friend! But Lauren will need her stuff with her too, so it just adds a new dynamic to the preparation and execution of said plan, than last time. Last thing I want is to be in labor wondering if Bunny Night-Night and fresh underwear made it with her. I'm not sure how long she's be at her best bud Caitlyn's house and that all depends on when we head to the hospital and when my wonderful MIL makes it here, so over packing is the way to go (no a problem for me)!

While writing this list I had the thought that I can kiss this sweet two hours good-bye after sweet baby #2 arrives. In fact, I've been thinking a lot about how the dynamics are going to change around here. I think it's because I'm not quiet as naive about how much changes when a new baby is brought home this time around- or at least I think I am. I'm wondering how our schedule will shift and morph over the first few months. I wonder if I'll be a wreck or easy going about it all. I wonder if this baby will be fussy or chill. There are just so many "what ifs" to allow me to plan. Have you noticed that I'm quiet the planner?!? Hence the almost ready to use "to pack" list for a hospital trip we pray is over two months away. Oh my, I just realized that it's now only two months away! I felt like it took forever to get to three months away and now it's just two- when did that happen? Someone needs to keep me privy to these things. It still amazes me how vastly different I am with this pregnancy than I was with Lauren, which leads me to believe it will be such a different experience all together when we bring her home.

I'm sure you're bored of my babble already, but these are the thoughts that fill my head. I'm making sure to embrace this time we have left as a family of three. I'm being realistic about how this baby will most likely be polar opposite from Lauren. I'm over joyed and excited at becoming a family of four and I'm looking forward to holding this baby in my arms and looking into her eyes. I can't believe that will happen in a mere two months.

When all is said and done, I know that this journey were on is no mistake and it has God hands and heart all over it. I also know that I'll look back on this post in three months and laugh because I have faith that whatever is about to happen will all be for the better! These are my nap time thoughts.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31

Oven Shenanigans

Tonight's dinner exploded! Well sort of. We were having roasted veggies and chicken. I cut up all the vegetables and chicken, put some seasoning and oil on them, put them in the oven at 450 degrees, set the timer and walked away. Matt and I headed upstairs to get Lauren up from nap and when we came down I opened the oven to check on dinner to find that the baking dish I put the food in had broken into a billion pieces and our food was everywhere. I had to take a pictures because Matt and I were just so shocked that such a thing had happened. Here, take a look for yourself:

I sent this picture to my mom and MIL and called both of them. I have just not been having good luck with the oven this week. You see this is the second dinner debacle. Earlier this week I had made barbecue beef brisket, a meal I had made several times before. The brisket I had bought was smaller than the recipe intended so I was estimating the time it would take to bake, and had under estimated, causing my side dish to be done before the meat. I turned the temperature up, only 50 degrees, and figured it would cook a little faster. Well when I checked on the meat it looked like it had ballooned up. I was baffled as to how and why this hunk of meat would do this. I called my mom and MIL, who were both baffled by this as well. Mind you I had never had this happen any of the other times I had made it. It ended up that one of the corners turned/curled under causing the meat to look like it had ballooned. It tasted fine and all was well. At least this craziness ended with us being able to eat the food.

We ended up eating left over bunny pancakes and greek yogurt for dinner instead. I loved the pan and I'm upset it now resides in my garbage can. I'm also bummed because I was looking forward to a yummy dinner and the wasted money on all that food. Matt had suggested we try to salvage the food and eat it, but I was afraid their might be small shards of glass in there, so we agreed to just toss it out. 

After a wonderful day spending time together it really didn't matter what we ate for dinner, and there is so much to be thankful for we didn't cry over our spilled dinner. But how crazy is that?!? 

God's Gift

As I watched my sweet daughter roam around the house this weekend singing her ABC's, I just couldn't help but stop and give thanks to God for our answered prayer. 

Our road to parenthood was filled with many heartbreaks. We had two miscarriages prior to conceiving our sweet baby girl. I look back at that time as a time of growth in our marriage, personally, and in my faith. 

I smile as I think about how there isn't a time when I didn't want to be a mom. In college I changed majors and was blessed when I realized God's calling for me to be a teacher, but never did I have a second thought about wanting to be a mom. I babysat from middle school on and loved being around children. When Matt and I got married we always envisioned ourselves being parents one day. 

We didn't have kids right away, like some young couples do. My parents had me when they were young and as I grew I saw some wisdom in waiting until you were ready to be selfless. Matt and I also wanted to enjoy being a young married couple and the joys that come with that. I look back at that time and think of how lazy we were...lol...but that just goes to show you that we weren't at the maturity level quiet yet to have kids. I'm glad we waiting and allowed our marriage and relationship to mature, I really do think that has helped us be better parents. I know that I've calmed and chilled as I've aged, Matt on the other hand came out of the womb calm and chilled ;-). I also know that my faith grew during that time. I didn't accept Jesus into my heart until I was in high school and I feel like sometimes I'm a step behind, and in the remedial class. All those years of teaching Sunday school sure helped me learn the bible through a kids eye- who knew that I would glean so much for my future children. 

So after about five years of marriage we were ready, or so we thought we were. We decided in 2009 we'd start trying to make a family. We waited until June because Matt had gone through an unexpected job change that winter into spring. After seeing the first positive + sign on the stick I was overcome with excitement only to have it taken away just a week later. My doctor told me to see it as a good sign and we tried again once we were allowed. During this time though, we were heartbroken over the sudden health issues with our cat, Miss Kitty. She had stopped eating and drinking one weekend and two months later we found out she needed to be put down because she had kitty cancer. Those were a rough and trying two months.

I look back on that time in the 'valley of the shadows' when nothing seemed to be going right and I cried more days than I smiled as I time when I was on my knees praying fervently to God, growing in my faith and growing ever so closer to my husband as we clung to each other for support. So when we got pregnant a second time I was overjoyed that some light was being given to us. We wrapped onesies up for our parents that Christmas and announced our good news. Tears of happiness were shed and life seemed to be looking up. But just a week after Christmas when we went to our first ultrasound the news wasn't good at all, our second precious baby had no heartbeat. We now had two babies waiting for us with Jesus in heaven.

I quickly spun into a heap on the floor with anger and frustration. I was devastated and felt so alone. The hope that I was clinging onto seemed to slip from my hands. To top it off I had the hardest class of my teaching career that year, so getting up and living through a day was so hard and torturous sometimes. I pleaded with God, WHY, WHY? I didn't turn from him but ran at him with anger and pounded my fists on his chest as I struggled with our situation. When I was too tired to cry, fight, and scream, I laid at his feet. Tears flood my eyes now as I write this, thinking about this time.

Lucky for me, God picked my pathetic body up and gave me the will to continue. I did a lot of running that winter and as I gained another half mile, I gained another ray of hope. That April we saw that positive sign on the pregnancy test once again, and we braced ourselves. We braced ourselves on that same God who picked us up not that long ago and was still holding us. This positive test was the first sign to us that God had blessed us with Lauren Shea. More tears...

Had I only known then about this bubbly, goofy, smart, caring, generous, sweet, cuddly girl that was growing slowly but surely inside me I think I would have worried less and skipped more (lol, I just pictured my very pregnant self skipping and it wasn't a pretty picture, lol).

Now I look at her and think only of a wonderful God and a precious gift. This girl who sings "Baby Beluga and Rudolph" at the dinner table and counts "one, two, five, seven" is the biggest light in my day. She's taught me more than I've taught her. She's taught me to slow down. She's taught me to be a better person to others. She's taught me to give thanks for every little thing around me, even if it doesn't seem like a blessing. She's taught me that faith is no small thing.

I can't seem to put into words how my daughter has changed me, but in my heart I know. So I'll end this post with a prayer of thanksgiving. I prayer for the best gift God could have ever given me.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me and my family so much that you've blessed us with Lauren Shea. I can't help but think if you every time I look at her. May your light always radiate from her and may you always fill her heart. If she is ever in distress, may she look to you, her holy comforter, for comfort and understanding. May you keep her safe and free from illness and disease. May she always walk on your lit path as she grows in your likeness. Please be with Matt and I as we train her up in your ways. Guide us daily as we help her to find her place. May your love and peace always be with her. In Jesus name I pray these things, Amen.

Cookies, ligths, and Pictures

I think if I wrote more often my titles wouldn't need two descriptors, but as it is here's all the little things that went on at our place this weekend.

Saturday was suppose to be a super productive day, but I think Saturday and productive are antonyms  and so it was more relaxing and somewhat productive. We got our Christmas cut-out cookies made! This was the first year Lauren was able to join in on the fun. I'm pretty sure last year I did them while she napped. 

Messy, messy, messy! There was flour everywhere. She had a great time though. I had an apron on, which I don't wear too often, so Lauren looked at it a little puzzled  I explained it was on to keep my clothes clean while we made cookies, so she then prompted "bib, Lauren wear bib." So we got her a 'baby' bib and put it on her. She was so frappin' cute I couldn't stop smiling every time I looked over at my flour covered child. Too bad it didn't do as nice of a job as an apron would have at keeping her clean. 

I usually make two batched, so I can give some cookies out as gifts, and this year I did the same. However, Lauren only helped make the first batch and conveniently it was nap time and I had to make the second batch on my own. I have to say, even thought the second batch was neater, faster, and more productive, I had way more fun with the first one!

The relaxing and slow Saturday inspired us to take a Christmas lights tour that evening. After a nice early bath, we got Lauren all dressed in her cozy Santa pajamas and headed out to a neighborhood near by that has two houses on the "Tacky Lights Tour." These house have the lights wired so they coordinate to music, so you tone your radio to the station posted and the light follow the music. Lauren had just as much fun sitting up front in the car as she did watching the lights (we were parked of course, as we watch the lights dazzle us). After sitting through a few songs we strapped her back in the back seat and drove around the rest of the neighborhood and enjoyed all the beautifully decorated houses. We laughed as she asked  a few times "out, out?" thinking we'd stop and let her back up front to see the lights, poor thing.

All clean and dressed to go take a Christmas lights tour!

This year has been so much more fun, as we watch Lauren enjoy the Christmas season. Last year she was just too young to understand and partake in the excitement  This year she's singing Christmas songs, helping with decorating, making cookies, enjoying decorations, taking about baby Jesus and his birthday, and participating in our advent dinner prayers and candle lighting. She's just so much more aware of everything and it's making the Christmas season just that much more enjoyable!

Today we had a wonderful time at church. She loves being there so much that she said she didn't want to leave. My heart might have bounced out of my chest when I heard that, because like the Grinch's heart, mine grew today. I did not grow up going to church but love everything about church since I came to accept Jesus as my Lord and savior. The people/fellowship, the symbolism,  and the fact that it's a special place made especially to meet Jesus and learn about him and God. All of these things make me want to be there more than just on Sunday morning. Our church is very beautiful, but it isn't the building I love. In fact, before we moved, my church back home was a ranch house converted into a church- not the prettiest thing, but that never mattered to me. So to hear Lauren enjoy church so much that she wanted to stay extra today meant so much to me. I'm so grateful as I start seeing signs that she too sees how great church is, how wonderful our God is, and how blessed we are for Jesus. I pray that this love continues to grow and her faith is rooted in God's promises and His love for us. I don't think there is anything I want more for her than that.

We did however end up leaving church and heading home. We got some stuff done around the house. My wonderful husband hung a bunch more stuff up for me, even though it isn't his favorite of tasks. In fact, I believe his exact words at one point today were "...this is why I hate doing this..." and "...there is going to be one day where I've hung up all that will fit on these walls and you won't be able to make me hang things up anymore" but he did it anyway and I'm so grateful. Our room looks so much more like I envisioned it. We took the mirror and two sconces we had hanging upstairs (from when that room was ours) and moved them to our new room and hung up a new picture. Such a cute picture. Decorations on the wall just make a room feel so much more homey and complete.

I also got a small painting job done in the bathroom (needed to paint some molding) and took care of some laundry too. Plus, we watched Brooke today for a few hours while her parents enjoyed a play. So today was pretty productive, and made up for our relaxation yesterday. 

What a great weekend! Another week awaits us and I pray that I take each day and moment to remember how blessed we truly are this holiday season. I'll leave you with my favorite Christmas carol. It's my favorite because it reminds us that he's the reason for this season. God's prefect gift to us came to us as a baby. What lucky people we are to have such a giving God.

A Satisfing Soup Dinner Update

In my post yesterday (see previous post) I discussed my recent weight gain and need for more healthy food options and Matt's eye roll to said comment. So I thought I would make some crecenst rolls to help him enjoy the soup dinner a little more. Yes he was grateful but please do enjoy the banter that took place in our house yesterday evening...

Jennifer..."Honey I made you some crescent rolls so tonight's dinner is more satisfying"

Matt's reply as he's eating dinner..."Wow, I'm so satisfied with dinner tonight"...."this is really satisfying"..."tonight's dinner was so satisfying"

When I brought up his very sarcastic tone and how it was really hard to appreciate his "sweet" comments but he just continued with his "satisfying" remarks. I asked if he would be satisfied with a 'beating' and his reply was "I can't win here- I am just giving you a compliment about how satisfied this dinner is now that you've made crescent rolls..." (said with a huge smile on his face)

This was all said in fun and there was much laughter sprinkled throughout our lovely dinner discussion. I just wanted to write this to remind me how blessed I am to have a husband who loves me so much he can laugh with me- because you can't help but smile when you laugh!

All in One

So much to say, like always!

This past weekend I enjoyed a retreat with the high school youth- they are such awesome kids and we had a wonderful time. It was also great because Josh and Jason were there. It was so great to see Josh with HIS youth group and see Jason and his wife. It's funny because as soon as I got around the two of them I got silly. I miss their friendships and fellowship, but have forced myself to accepted their new roles and where God has put them. I still miss them dearly. This trip also gave me a chance to get to know the new youth director. I have to admit, for a social butterfly, it's taking me a while to warm up to her. She is a lovely person and I have not one bad thing to say about her. It's just that she isn't Jason or Josh. I think part of me is a little resentful towards her for being in her position and not them. I keep praying I got over it and this retreat weekend sure helped a lot. We did some bonding Saturday night and had a long discussion and it helped me to see past the fact that she isn't "Jason or Josh." Can you tell I still need the Lord to help me work on letting them go and embracing her.  All in all it was a wonderful time and being with these kids made me realize how physically exhausting caring for Lauren and being pregnant is. Even though this retreat was atop a steep mountain- I still felt so much more energetic/rested than if I had been home.

Speaking of home...we have our Christmas tree up and decorated! Matt and Lauren got it Sunday and we put it up together, since I got home from the retreat moments after them getting home from getting the tree- God's perfect timing. Yesterday, after getting home from the park, Lauren and I decorated the outside too. I don't do much outside, just some lite garland and lights around the porch posts. But it feels more like Christmas now that all the decorations are up. The warm weather has me a little thrown, but I'm not going to wish that away!!!

I also ordered our Christmas cards! I really like them and can't wait to see what they look like when I pick them up. I laugh because the worst part about Christmas cards is licking all of the frappin' envelopes!!! I hate it and have been known to beg Matt to help me. I was reminded of this as I finished Lauren's birthday thank you notes. Yuck, it just tastes so bad and I'm fearful of a paper cut on my tongue  No I've never gotten one, but ouch, I hope I never do.

Today I had another baby appointment and I'm in owe of the fact that it's already time for by-weekly appointments. I was a smidge upset by my weight gain. I think between Thanksgiving, an extra sweet tooth, and the retreat this weekend (oh it was so nice to enjoy food I didn't have to shop for, cook, or clean up after- and gotta love the high fat, yummy food only a cafeteria can provide) I have not been paying quiet as much attention to this area lately. Matt was able to go to this appointment with me and he laughed at me when I tried to blame some of it on the baby. I just crave sweet things, yum. I do not have a sweet tooth naturally (Matt would laugh if he read that statement). I'm more of a pasta and bread girl. When I was pregnant with Lauren I didn't crave much out of the ordinary for me. So the fact that I love and want sweet things all the time with this one is different, so I feel I have grounds to pass along a little blame on the baby/pregnancy.

The light bulb in my  head went off as I thought about my weight gain since I've started to feel so much bigger and like I did at the end of the pregnancy with Lauren.  I did look at my pregnancy calendar I kept with Lauren and I did have a big jump in the second trimester with her, that I didn't have with this one. And my weight is only off by a few weeks. I weighed this much at 34 weeks with her, and I'm 30 weeks now. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's okay to gain weight, just not 7 pounds in 4 weeks...how's that for being real? That's ~2 pounds a week!! So I told Matt to get ready for lots of Chicken noodle soup- nutritious but low calories- I believe I got an eye roll for this comment. Needless to say I've been pretty hungry today and have subsequently drank lots more water. Just proof that I was eating too much- since I consciously ate appropriately today (soup and salad do a body good). Oh goodness...enough about this.

Some silliness from Lauren to end the post...in the past few days I've noticed another growth spurt with her vocabulary. She is just cracking me up. The other day she blamed Bunny Night-Night for her mess- yes she blamed her stuffed animal! I didn't know that a two year old had enough logic and understanding to do this. It took all I could not to laugh at this. Then today while we were making crafts she told me "I got that mama" and when I asked her who did something she said "Lauren did." She can "sing" her ABC's almost correctly. It's too precious to listen to. Her sentences are getting longer too. I can't think of one now, but she just blows my mind with her intellect! Amen for such a sweet and smart little girl, but Lord please help me to stay a step ahead of her...please!

I'll end with a cute cartoon I saw on BibleGateway.com (here's the link so I don't get in trouble: http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/12/top-five-christmas-cartoons-from-reverend-fun/)