Did I Brush My Teeth Today?!?

I'm pretty sure I've just grossed everyone out but I don't care.There are just some days of my life where I get to bed time and realized, I haven't even brushed my teeth today. It's not necessarily from lack of time or desire, believe me I enjoy clean, cavity free teeth. It's just one of those days where the day sweeps you away and before you know it, it's bedtime and you haven't brushed your teeth.

These have been my days lately. As we wait patiently (or not) for our little baby boy to arrive. I've been blessed beyond measure by Matt's mom and my mom being in town to help lighten the load. I'm sure my ability to nap and be more relaxed has caused him to say a little longer in hotel mama. But my days seem aimless and yet busy and a little out of sorts because the routine is looser, there are extra helping hands and everyday we wake up wondering if today will be the day.

The past 21 days have been a roller coaster of wondering. As April rolled in and the due "month" was here I've been on pins and needles ready to get him out. I thought for sure after my appointment at 37 weeks revealed me to be 2 cm and 50% that his arrival was going to be sooner than later but that hasn't been the case. I felt so restless and anxious, and even a bit of pressure (all self inflicted) that he was coming. But as everyday came and went without a baby my days have been a bit off. My mind feels off beat with life. These feelings and thoughts are so hard to put into words but I need to get this out. I need to record it and reflect on this time so I can move on- on to what I'm not so sure. 

After no progress at my 38 week appointment and a day full of contractions and a trip to the doctors only to find out the contractions weren't the real deal I was overwhelmed with frustration and anxiety. And it wasn't until Easter Sunday when my heart, spirit and mind were flipped from their selfish thoughts to thoughts of God that I begin to feel content with him still residing inside of me.

I mean what's the rush?! Was I in a rush?! I don't really think so, I just feel like the unknown of it all was getting the better of me. And some days it still is. The more waiting time the more time to think about this or that or whatever. 

I'm used to a busy, scheduled life. Not too busy and not over scheduled but as things have slowed to preparing for his arrival and as help has arrived I've felt a bit of extra time to think/worry/wonder. I really should be using the time to do stuff I've wanted or needed to do but I'm not. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I've been feeling coped up and the days I get out I've been exhausted, crabby, and cranky from the adventures. It feels like a lose/lose deal.

On top of it all, what do I really have to complain about? Um...nothing. And to make things worse I've been short and crabby with the kids and Matt. I'm just done. I'm really for the next step. Or am I?

I mean I've done this all before- you know having a baby. And I know. The baby is way easier when it's in the womb than when it's outside demanding more of your time and energy - not to mention that the time and energy the sweet ones that are already here demand. I keep telling myself this- over and over in my head but it somehow is not sinking it. I guess part of me thinking once he's out the 'wait' is over and my days will be full and busy again. It's almost like I'm wishing my 'vacation' away. I know it all seems a bit backwards- but it's just how my crazy self has been handling it all. Today I was blaming the hormones. I'm ready to be myself again!- whatever that might mean. I'm sure you're thinking I should see someone for a psychiatric evaluation. But as these days roll on I feel like I'm going a bit crazy myself! But I think this comes with the territory. I mean this is kid number four right? But if I have any words of wisdom to give in this whole post of blah, blah is that each and every pregnancy/baby/life season always brings in more new/unknown territory to life's journey. 

So we continue to wait and wonder. I continue to try and remove the selfish thoughts with each contraction (occurring daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes regularly and yet other times erratically) which prepares my body for the moment when God is ready for him to meet us. I need reminders to do less worrying and more praying. Less anxiousness and more thankfulness. Less crabby mama and more grace filled mama. Less of waiting for the next moment and more of enjoying this moment. Less of me and more of HIM!

Prayers welcome!

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever, Amen." ~ 1 Peter 5:6-11 ~

Growing Again!

Here I am 29 weeks and I'm finally getting around to writing a post about expecting our 4th bundle of joy! I laugh because yesterday I had my 28 week appointment and the sweet nurse who was administering my rhogam shot (such a fun experience, since it has to go in your hip/butt area- I know TMI), anyway she was chatting with me about life and I told her how we had just moved to a new house this summer and she commented "oh moving while expecting..." and I said no, this baby is a product of being in the new house. We both laughed. But here I go, yet again, trying to fit 30 weeks of memories into one post...

So we moved into our amazing new house this past July. We love our house, it is a blessing times a million. We were in our house a little over a month when I got the positive pregnancy test. I was so shocked. I didn't expect it but I was super excited for it. I wanted to wait a bit to think of some fun way to tell Matt but that didn't happen because I live a real life over here. You see I had a feeling I was expecting even before the test results proved my intuition to be correct. I had been having infection symptoms and need to see a doctor to get medications. Due to all of this, the surprise was dismissed and I told Matt- who was as taken back as I with the speediness of it all. Anyway, we had planned a fun trip to a water park that day, something we had never done with the girls before but we had passes and wanted to take advantage of them, but that morning I had to call the doctors. So in I went got my medications and we set off to the water park. Here's a few pictures of that day.

The girls had a blast and have spoken of going back ever since. But that was our last hurrah before normal mommy became zombie mommy. 

Almost as soon as September set in so did my ever wonderful day sickness. I'm not sure who coined the term "morning sickness" but I consider them to be lucky because with every single pregnancy my sickness lasts all day long. This time on top of that I've had chronic infections (they just keep coming back- so annoying) and I had migraines through most of my 1st trimester. I had never had a migraine before so it was almost 4 of 5 weeks before I figured out what was going on. They were almost always stressed induced. Because I was stressed and pushed beyond my own capabilities through September and the beginning of October.

You see this pregnancy was more of a "if it happens, it happens" type of adventure. We wanted another sweet one for sure, don't get me wrong, every child is a blessing beyond measure! So the whole month of September was a bit busy to say the least. First, we were beginning our official adventures in homeschooling. Lauren entered Kindergarten and now I had to fill out forms and at the end of the year we have to provide evidence of achievement- a bit more official then the preschooling I had done the years previous. Then on top of that I had two to three days each week where I was watching Brooke and Norah for Sarah. Brooke was 4 and Norah was 9 months at the time. So adding two more to an already crazy full house, enough said. Then you top that off with the fact that we had just moved and things were by no means settled around here. We still had boxes of stuff in the garage, blank walls, unorganized stuff just laying around- aka things sitting there reminding me that I had stuff to do and no time/energy to do it. And then we also had lots of visiting grandparents (this was more of a blessing than anything but just something else added to the crazy). So if you're a math person like me, you can add all that up:

day sickness + 1st year homeschooling + extra kids + unfinished moving + life in general = one stressed, tired, cranky, headachy woman!

Once I discovered they were stressed triggered migraines I was able to take some Tylenol and better prepare myself for them but that wasn't until I was a good 4 weeks into this migraine thing. Basically I would wake up somewhat okay. Then as the morning wore on I would just feel overwhelmed with anything sensory. Lights were too bright, noises were too loud, smells were too smelly, I didn't want to be touched- I remember talking to my sister on the phone and describing this and feeling like I was on the spectrum. It was an overload to the extreme. On top of all that there was never ending pain in my head and neck. Because this fun migraine adventure I struggled with watching Norah. She herself was going through I bit of a rough time, since she was having chronic ear infections, which I was unaware of, and she would spend her days crying and crying. Needing to be held all the time. A huge stresser for me. And I had four other children to attend to! Please feel free to reread the description above about how the migraines made me feel and I swear to you there were some days I wanted to cry right along with her and might have had it not hurt more to do so. It was awful. My mom and step-dad visited at the end of September for a week and it was then, when see took over my roll as mommy and I got to lay all day that I realized they were headaches/migraines. So I was able to find a bit of relief in Tylenol but that just took the edge off, I still had many not so fun days with and without Norah.

One other big reason I struggle so much with the 1st trimester is because of my previous experience with miscarriages during this time. God now holds four sweet little ones of ours in his hands in heaven. All of my girls are rainbow babies and so I so struggle with getting through that time so I can stop holding my breath for the 'bad' to happen. This is the first time I've gotten pregnant and stayed pregnant without having a miscarriage first. Let me tell you I much prefer it this way. But because of the past cycle- get pregnant, miscarry, get pregnant, stay pregnant- it was very hard for my head and heart to get on the same page. During the worst of it all, the month of September, I kept telling God if he needed to take this baby (for whatever reason) this was it. I. Was. Done! Having three running around and trying to keep all of life moving was exhausting enough but I couldn't/wouldn't do this to myself again. You know some people say that feeling like crap during the first trimester is a good sign- well I've felt like crap a total of eight times now- yes all eight, no matter the outcome. I was just dead tired. We had just gone through a roller coaster of emotional and physical exhaustion with the house selling and buy process I was throwing in the towel if something happened with this one. I told Matt that if this baby went home to heaven then that was God's sign to me that we were meant to have three. I talked very bluntly to God in my prayers during that month- I was too tired to do anything but. And God answered right back at me and this baby is an answer to those dark time prayers. I'm not sure that I've expressed this the right way here or that it will make sense to anyone outside of my own self, but sometimes there are things for God and me to share and comprehend that no one else will quiet grasp because they're not me and that's okay with me. But I write on here for me, so I'm putting it all down.

Let's just say I was glad when September ended and as October moved forward. Things seemed to settle a bit more. By the end of October I was doing much, much better. I was watching Brooke and Norah way less since their grandparents had returned from their trip. When Matt's parents came at this time so we could enjoy a day trip to celebrate 11 years of marriage, I have a vivid memory of getting up at the crack butt of dawn and accomplishing a project around the house (putting up a shelf above the washer and dryer). It was the first time I had energy and the drive to do anything related to the house since the end of August. Plus, having them here meant I had help with the kids during the day so I could expend more energy in the morning and since I'd get a break in the middle of the day. 

By November I was feeling much better and we had the joy of having Matt's brother and girlfriend down with Matt's parents for a visit. Then we geared up for having my mom and step-dad back for 10 days at Thanksgiving, as well as my sister's family in for 5 days too (coinciding with my mom being here and the Thanksgiving holiday). It was a busy season for visits this fall. Everyone was excited about the house and we sure needed the help around here so they were all welcomed visits for sure. It is such a blessing to have a guest bed again! 

Anyway back to the baby. One of the biggest difference this time has been baby's big sisters. Lauren is so much older (6 now!) and she knew before we told her. She looked at me one day prior to us officially telling them I'm pregnant and said "You look like you have a baby in your belly!" Speaking of my already growing belly. I was taken back by her, as I often am, intuition. This time we decided to bring the two big girls to the 12 week ultrasound in mid October to announce to them/show them the baby in mommy's belly. They had no idea until they saw the picture on the flat screen hanging on the wall. They were both in disbelief at first. Lauren was much more aware of what it all meant and kept saying "there's a baby in mommy's belly!" and "I can't believe there is a baby in mommy's belly!" with such joy and excitement. That was so neat to watch. It's the first time my little ones are interested in me being pregnant. She's frequently asked the size of the baby and what the baby can do. It's been fun. I've only cracked open the What to Expect When You're Expecting book when she's asked me questions. The other day at High School Bible study one of the girls asked if the baby could hear- we had to look it up. I mean I was pretty sure it could at this stage but wasn't 100%. Things are different with number 4.

For instance, one thing I think any mom of more than one will tell you and that is that life slips through your fingers. Days go by so fast, though some seem to drag on like a bad dream, for the most part days fly by. Before you know it the week is gone and then the month and then the year. I mean really, how on earth is Lauren Shea 6?!?! I tell you each new baby makes time fly at a exponentially faster rate. It defies physics if you ask me. So this pregnancy is just flying by. I can't believe I'm in the third trimester all ready. Once November hit and I was feeling more 'me' and less 'zombie' it picked up the pace like we were sprinting for the finish already. But the second trimester always goes quick for me because it's my favorite. Your body looks less 'fat' and more 'pregnant.' You start to feel movement. You're not a hot mess with sickness. You are still small enough that you can move about with some ease. I always say I could be pregnant forever during this phase. My mind is not stressed about the babies health anymore. My spirits are up. People know and are excited to share with us. And if you choose, you can find out what you're having!

We again took the big girls with us to the 20 week ultrasound to find out the gender. It was so different this time. With Lauren I wasn't sure until I saw her face in a 4D ultrasound and then I knew she was a she. Then with both Olivia and Audrey, Lauren had them both pegged as sisters. In fact, she was so sure I just expected them to be girls. This time however, she had no intuition. That should have been my first clue. I've never had any intuition about my babies before the ultrasound tech showed us. When asked, Olivia wanted a brother and Audrey said "sisah" but I'm convinced she doesn't even have a concept of the word "brother" so of course she would say sister. But as you've probably already figured out, this time God decided to spice life up and he blessed us with our first baby boy! I guess the ultrasound tech wanted us to have no questions about that fact since she gave us four different pictures showing us that indeed he was a he! Matt was a bit taken back and when the tech left to get the doctor he asked to look at the pictures to be sure. Well I was sure. In fact, I called it out before she said anything. I had seen enough girls to know this wasn't one!

This time I already had a girl name selected. I was so ready to name her Rachel, but alas that name will not be used on my sweet little boy! This time around has been so tough since I feel like boy names aren't as fun as girl names. We had names selected for all three girls by this point in the pregnancy but not this time. I struggle so much because I don't like names that can be shortened. I think growing up Jennifer and everyone under the sun wanting to call me Jenny, which I don't like, drove me nutty. So that might explain why I like names that are what they are, end of story. Matt prefers more traditional names, as do I. So there are not many boy names that can't be shortened and have to be six letters...okay don't laugh or roll your eyes like Matt does but all three girls have 6 letters in their first name and 4 letters in their middle name. Also, the first names are special names to them- no one in the extended family shares that name- but their middle names are all family names. So now that I started that trend it's hard to just change it up, for me at least. So the search is on...still. I have a name I really like but Matt isn't 100% for. But hey, it took a bit for him to get on my side with Olivia so maybe he'll come around! Optimism is good for the soul. But I'm not going to write it here, yet. You'll have to wait until baby boy is born to see what we select. 

Food cravings have been somewhat different for all of my pregnancies. The only thing that remained the same with all of them is meat. I crave me beef, pork and chicken- all of it. I love me some Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches and a good burger loaded with lots of yummy stuff. Hot dogs, ham, and deli sandwiches loaded with meat. Oh I must need the protein. Maybe that's why I've had such hairy babies! But with Lauren I had an aversion to yogurt- a staple food for me. But other than that I don't remember anything specific. Olivia I wanted anything and everything sweet- but especially ice cream with peanut butter on top. Then Audrey I don't remember anything specific (similar to Lauren) that I wanted I just wanted it all. Now this one I'm enjoying salty things and pickles. I've eaten a half a jar of pickles in a sitting and have purchased more jars during this pregnancy than the past 6 years previous to it. Just writing this makes me want to get some out and eat them!

Okay, I'm back from my pickle binge. Oh another comparison between the pregnancies is how I've carried them. Lauren and Audrey I carried very low. My hips were a hot mess (heck they still are to some degree), more so with Audrey since she was #3. Olivia I carried higher, so high that she gave me chronic heartburn through the whole pregnancy- sending me to the ER in 1st trimester because it was so bad I was having chest pains! Oh that was a fun day...err not. This little guy is more like Olivia and my hips have been much better this time around. Well that is until this week. I know I've entered the 3rd trimester since I can't sleep because I can't get comfortable and I toss and turn all night. If I sleep on my left side my right hip hurts and if I sleep on my right side limbs fall asleep- thus making me flop around like a fish, a very wide fish, a very slow fish. I've also had some trouble with heartburn so who knows. All I know is there is nothing "special" to this pregnancy that makes me feel like I'm carrying a boy and not a girl. All those old wives tails are just that. Well I take that back, his heart rate might have been an indicator since he followed the "boy" trend. He has been in the 140's pretty much the whole time (since 10 weeks when we heard it for the first time). Where the girls started higher, in the 150's, and then slowed over time to settle in the 140's. 

The last thing I'm going to ramble on about is the prep for a baby boy. With Lauren I decorated the nursery in green and purple with kind of a garden/flower theme. I didn't change that for either of the other girls. I just washed what I had and slapped it right back on the crib. Instead of focusing on the crib/nursery when baby girl #2 and #3 came along, I focused on the prep for the older child. Getting a big bed and the accessories for that. It was nice, I saved a lot of money that way. This time however, we're focused on both- a big girl bed for Audrey and boy decor for the crib and other things. I was very good at purchasing a 'gender neutral' stroller/ car seat, bouncy seat, swing etc. But I wanted the nursery to be girly. Now I want to make sure that this boy is not mistaken for anything but a boy! Following three girls is going to be hard enough already. Also, Audrey and baby boy are going to share a room. So thinking of a gender neural theme and color that are very "girl" and very "boy" that coordinate has been fun. Let's just say I've been on Pinterest a LOT these days. 

I've decided on stars. I'm still not sure how but I want to do a homemade star wall decoration with a bible verse. I've got three I'm thinking about - Psalm 148:3, Daniel 12:3 and Philippians 2:14b-16 (see below and vote if you think one is better than the others). I want to make a lamp shade with silver stars painted on it. I've gotten purple sheets for Audrey's bed and I've gone with navy blue for baby boy's crib. I'm still waiting on the crib bumper I ordered off ebay but I've got a plan navy crib sheet and a crib sheet with navy stars. The crib skirt and bumper are just white with navy strips. I've gotten a navy changing pad cover. The next big tasks is to go to Joann's and pick out fabrics for the quilts Ester and her mom are going to make for them. Her mom made the quilts on the big girls beds and it is so special. I felt very blessed that they were willing to do two more! But I need to go there when I can look around and really take my time. Plus, I still need to finish my measurements so I know how much to purchase. Just so much to be done, but just like the other rooms in the house these days...it'll be a work in progress for a while. I figure in about ten years I'll have each room as it should be, lol! Or not. 

All I know is that we feel blessed beyond measure with so much these days. A new house, a new baby, and a whole lot more- all blessings from our wonderful Heavenly Father. Oh I pray so often that as my little ones grow up that they see the evidence of God working in their lives, in our lives as a family. He is ever present and always loving. I pray their hearts see that so they can grab hold of his promises. Because when I look at our lives I see his finger prints on each and every moment.

Here I am with my sweet and crazy girls. As you can
tell it's Olivia's birthday. 

Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars. ~Psalm 148:3

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. ~Daniel 12:3

Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure...Then you will shine among them like STARS in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. ~Philippians 12:14b-16

My Tangible God

I have been really, really wanting to get on here and write what has been on my heart lately and here God is giving me that opportunity. Two sleeping girls, Wednesday nights Bible study planned and Thursday's Bible study homework up to date and Matt isn't due home for a bit, plus, it's leftover night so no dinner prep needed! Can you see me dancing with joy like a fool! 

Life has been busy, as it usually is. Olivia turned 2 last week!!! Just blows my mind that she is two already. Potty training is on the up swing. She has been so good and is gaining control over it all. Allowing us to enjoy life in longer increments than the ol' 45 minute routine we had just a week ago. I'm so proud of her- she truly is a big girl now. Lauren is just plugging away, throwing surprises our way at every turn. She is so freakin' smart sometimes, I am truly amazed that the things she says (quite literally on a daily basis) and does. I sometimes just take a step back and enjoy the fun that it brings to our house. She's such a young lady. Matt said to me the other day that he wished he could put a little recording device around her neck so we could document all the wonder, beauty, and down right silly that just escapes her mouth all day long. I told him I would agree as long as it was just her voice you could hear when it was played back, lol, this mama doesn't need to hear her own voice anymore than I already do!

Look who can even pour her own cereal...well sort of 

Lauren's skills are a little better- she'll teach Olivia I'm sure

Matt's wonderful parents where down visiting us this past weekend. Always a blessing and an unexpected one too. Which leads me right into what I really, really want to put down in this post. 

I think it was last week Wednesday when could feel God walking through my day with me. It has been one of those times in my life when I truly feel like His presence is so tangible that it gives me the goosebumps (or chill bumps for you goofy folk ;-). So here goes my days.

Wednesday was going to be a crazy day, and for the most part it still kind of was. I had a baby appointment with the good ol' OB GyN. I always get excited for those appointments- for a few reasons. One, I usually go alone or with Matt and I enjoy either my quiet time or my alone time with Matt. Two, when you're pregnant with baby number three it's hard to find time to just bask in the glory of your pregnant state and these appointments give me time to do just that. Three, I love hearing my baby's heartbeat, oh such a sweet symphony of tones that makes my heart dance. So I was a bit disappointed when I realized that my absent minded pregnant self had also made Olivia's 2 year appointment for the same day. Or it might have been the other way around- I made my baby appointment for the same day as Olivia's, but you get the point. I can't be two places at once.

I called Matt when I realized my grave mistake. I told him the predicament and was secretly hoping he would solve all of my problems and be my hero once again. But no indeed he too could not figure out how I could be at two places at once. I had a babysitter coming, originally for both girls, so I wouldn't have to worry at all about Lauren- Amen! So I asked Matt if he could take the morning off to take Olivia to her appointment and then I would go alone to mine. He said sure and all was right. Expect it wasn't. I really LOVE going to their doctor appointments- for a few reasons (sound familiar? - if not reread the last paragraph again- and yes I hope you're laugh right along with me on this). One, I love their doctor- she is great and I'd be friends with her in the outside world if I could be. Two, I love finding out all about how they've grown and how they are doing. Three, I like to ask questions- it's in my DNA to be a question asker (ask everyone of my teachers and professors they will agree hands down, or up :-). With Olivia I'm forever asking about her food issues and this time was no different. 

So I prayed and got over it. There was just one small, very small, extremely small chance I could do both. My appointment was at 9:20 and Olivia's was at 10:15. And God afforded me another chance besides the appointments be staggered a bit, there was also the fact that we were at the West End pediatrians office (not our usually office). The appointments were at offices only ten minutes apart. I knew going into the day that it was very slim chance that I could pull it off. After all the OB GyN is so very rarely on time so I just prayed and figured I'd have to hear about Olivia's appointment from Matt. 

Well Jesus was in the car when I got an awesome parking spot in, and when "For the first time in forever..." (yes I'm signing Frozen songs on my blog post) the doctors office was running on time. I got into the room with plenty of time. I'm telling you I've never had an appointment run so smoothly every!!!! I even had time to chat with my doctor, whom I love dearly too, about life and kids as I listened to sweet baby's heartbeat. Then I had to get that ever so wonderful Rhogam shot and since the doctor's nurse was super busy they had another nurse do it and she was ready as soon as I was and I was able to get in quickly to have my blood drown too! I got in the car and raced over to Olivia's appointment. I had been texting Matt my positive progress the whole time. When I got into the car I had a text from him back and I might just make it. So off I zoomed. I pulled into the parking lot, ran (okay, walked quickly) into the office and asked the receptionist where they were. I walked into the room to see Olivia being a sweet girl and the best was when she lit up like a little Christmas Tree when I came into the room. I hugged her and thanked God, whom I swear to you was in the room with us enjoying the moment too. Dr. T and I chatted about baby number three and names. I found out she was as crazy with her children's names as I have been. She also has three children and was very intent to make sure her children's name went together just so. Matt zoned out but I was so excited to not be the only crazy mama who agonized over simple things while naming her babies because it mattered-  to me. But we also talked about the food allergies, which Matt hadn't gotten to so I was also grateful I didn't miss that conversation. Olivia got a wonderful report of heath and didn't even need any shots- just a finger prick, which was with her doctors usually nurse -another wonderful lady! The morning couldn't have gone any better- such an answer to prayer plus more! What a great God we have!!

Then we traveled home to enjoy lunch as a family before Matt had to scoot back off to work. We all enjoy when daddy is here for lunch. I tell you I was walking on Jesus' soft cloud all day and I'm sure he was right there with me. It honestly was a blessing beyond measure.

Then I was praying and praying for Thursday too. You see we have Bible study on Thursdays and last week was rough with Olivia's potty training and I felt awful for both her and the nursery worker. I had a plan of action to turn that frown upside down this week. And there it was Thursday and there He was- Jesus yet again by my side seeing prayers on my heart be answered. She did so good. They had woken up early that morning- so Olivia was able to do her daily morning business at home leaving this mama so hopeful that she was good to go in that department (the week before not so much and she ended up doing it in her pants and I know she was beyond devastated that she wasn't quite comfortable enough to do it in the potty). Anyway- with her #2 out of the way I just had to worry about getting the pee in the pot- I could do this. So I went to the nursery to bring her into the potty every hour or so and help her feel more comfortable. I just left my study to tend to her in the nursery. I had to go there three times but the second two times she was successful and came home in the same pants that she showed up in. I was so proud of her and again so thankful for the tangible evidence that my God cares for even the grossest of our needs.

So then that leaves us with this wonderful weekend. But of course I must backtrack a bit- I wouldn't be Jennifer if there wasn't a back story to everything I say- oh bless my heart. Anyway, I've been prayerful for a new dresser. You see this time around all I needed to do to get the 'house' ready for baby was to officially move all of Olivia's stuff into the 'big girls room.' She has been sleeping in there since December but her clothes still were housed in the nursery. One reason being I had no dresser to put her clothes into and the other being I hadn't gotten around to rearranging all the closets yet (I still have more work in that area but I know I'll get to it). So I started stalking Craigslist for the city we live in and the city Matt's and my family live it. I was finding NOTHING here. On top of being a very small selection, what I was finding was way over priced. I had specifics that couldn't be changed. I needed it to be a chest of drawers since I needed it to fit in the room. It also needed to be 5 drawers high, not 4, in order to fit in all the clothes. And I really wanted a wood that wouldn't clash with the dresser that was already in there housing Lauren's clothes. I'm not to needy...ha! So I did find one and my MIL looked into it but someone else had found it first. I wasn't too discouraged, I mean I do have three months until baby comes into the world needing clothes and all. I trusted God had one picked out for us and in His timing we would find it. I didn't however think he was going to have such an awesome plan, in a way only he can!

Then one week ago- on a Sunday night I got an email from Matt's mom. She found a beauty. I saw it and told her to go for it. It was even better than I could have imagined!! It was a double chest. So there are two columns of drawers- 5 high in the same dresser!! Thus allowing me to put both girls clothes in one dresser!!! Who even knew that existed?? Not I. On top of this fantasticness, it was just one piece of a set. There was a coordinating desk, chair, mirror, nightstand, and bookshelf. Now- ALL of this was in mint condition and ALL of it was just $250. Now we had budgeted about $100 for a used wooden dresser. But we didn't need all of the stuff in the group, so things could be resold offsetting the cost. Plus, Matt's parents so generously helped financially too. So the girls now have a new bookshelf, something I hadn't even prayed for but they needed (there was literally no room left on the one they had and we have many more years of book collecting in front of us). They also have a new nightstand that coordinates with their new dresser and bookshelf. I was just hoping for something that wouldn't clash but God had bigger and better things in store for us. Isn't He GREAT!!!!

Here's the dresser all set up, clothes inside! It fit perfectly into

the space. Just an answer to prayer plus so much more!

Here is the bookshelf...see the room for growth. 

It however is NOT all set up- just books thrown back

on so the floor wouldn't be covered anymore. 

A work in progress...

If this wasn't enough my in-laws were planning a random- we miss our grandbabies visit. So they were able to pick it up and bring it down to us just a few days later. They also took the dresser and nightstand that we already owned and had no room for back to there house for storage until God blesses us with our next home that we're hoping might have some more rooms and we can take it back from them. I was able to move the bookshelf from their room into the office for some much needed storage of school stuff. The house that once felt so big and somewhat empty is now feeling a little snug and not empty at all- and what a blessing that is!

My in-laws presence this weekend allowed for Matt to do a few things around the house and me too. Lauren took a trip to their hotel room again and we got some wonderful alone time with our now 2 year old. I love when we're able to make our children feel special in their own way. We were able to visit with them and enjoy their wonderful company too. I was able to run some errands and get some reorganizing done with the dresser swap, closet rearranging, and new bookshelf arrangement. 

Man the length of this post is beyond my usual attention span or my allotted time. But here I am still able to write. I just can't explain in words how amazing God's love is. I think of the way I try and do special things to make my children feel loved and important and cherished and then I see Him doing it to me. I think that is why I've been so adamant in getting this post down. I want to... 

Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

And Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

We've been through fire, we've been through pain
We've been refined by the power of Your name
We've fallen deeper in love with You
You've been the truth on our lips

Shout to the north and the south

Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Yes, He's Lord of heaven and earth
~Shout to the North~

"There, in the presence of the Lord your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the Lord your God has blessed you." Deuteronomy 12:7

"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice." 1 Chronicles 16:10

"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, "The Lord is great!" Psalm 70:4 

"In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trust in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." Isaiah 25:9

There are so many more ways I can quote how I feel about God right now. I feel like rejoicing in Him who knit each of these days together so perfectly in a way only He who created the heavens and the earth can. I might not be a preacher who can tell many how tangible God can be but I can tell all who I know about how God is here with us. And He isn't just with us when things are working out but He's there with us when things are all jumbled up too, if you've ever read any of my other post- especially ones about this past summer- you know that I feel His almighty presence in the good times and the bad. I just prefer the good times...don't we all! So may your week be blessed. May you feel his love, power, and gentleness as you walk through your day. May you know His presence is so close that you feel it in your heart and see it in your daily life.

Well it's time for bath and shower and bed and I'm one tired mama- off to enjoy those blessings!

? Snow Day ?

Today was day two of a smiggin of snow at our house. Yesterday was busy and cold so we didn't make it out. But today the snow cancelled bible study so we had lots of fun being spontaneous with our day filled only with potential! It started with a yummy treat for breakfast. In our pj's we dashed out to pick up breakfast from Chick-fil-a. Then out we went to enjoy the 'snow' and mostly ice. Lauren tried collecting snow but it was lots of effort with little yield, so she moved onto collecting ice. Olivia just had a ball sliding around and playing in the playhouse. Good times! Here are some pictures of the two cuties I got to spend my fun day with and the hot cocoa we enjoyed after we got in- at 9:30 am. Mommy was feeling adventurous- obviously. Then we spent the rest of the day playing and enjoying our free day! Gotta love God's little gifts in each day.

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. 

Worship the LORD with gladness; 

come before him with joyful songs. 

Know that the LORD is God. 

It is he who made us, and we are his; 

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture." 

Psalm 100:1-3

Today is Day 5

Day 1

I awoke at 4:30 in the morning, excited with anticipation. Today was the day we would find out if we had another girl or a baby boy on the way. What made today even more special was that Lauren was coming with us. She was going to be there when, hopefully, baby would cooperate and we'd find out the gender. I was excited for me, baby, Lauren, and of course my sweet husband. Both Matt and I had no inclination or hunch as to what this baby might be but when you would ask Lauren if the baby was boy or girl she would like right at you and say plain as day "a girl." It was the same way my MIL looked at me when I was pregnant with Lauren and didn't yet know she was a sweet little girl. So she had me leaning towards girl when I would talk with her but other than that, again I had not a clue.

After running around the house trying to get everyone out the door by 7:30 am we were on our way to drop off Olivia with Esther and family while the rest of us headed on to the doctors. Although we arrived on time it was another half hour or so before we walked into the room. Baby was not making it easy for the US tech. She tried twice without success to get baby in the right position to reveal to us the gender. She took her measurements and we all enjoyed watching the baby move, wiggle, and stretch, as well as Lauren's comments and questions, like "is there a baby inside the baby?" or "So when the baby pops out..." or "Is that the baby's eyes" for the better part of the time. Finally baby got into position and revealed to us that Lauren was indeed correct- it was another sweet baby girl. Matt smiled his same smile of excitement since his little girls adore him and he them- he still says he wouldn't know what to do with a boy- but I know he'd be fine no matter what, he's a great daddy. We were all excited. I immediately started talking names. We were all smiles. We had a new healthy baby girl in the womb!!

To top it off, when the doctor came in to check everything out, she let Lauren use the wand and make the picture of her little sister show up on the screen. She loved it and I Matt and I couldn't get enough of the joy exuding from her as she got to be the doctor. It was amounting to a wonderful day. We had so much to celebrate and be grateful for!

We called Matt's mom first as we made our way to my OB GyN just the next building over. I wanted to tell her first since we're using her mother's name for the middle name- that is set in stone but the first name is still being debated. I then called my mom and embraced the joy from her as well. Nothing was killing this good mood, not even when the receptionist informed me that they didn't have me down for my 20 week appointment that I was suppose to go to that day. She fit us into the schedule and we should only have to wait 45 minutes- no biggy. I still had many more phone calls to make and Lauren still had lots of stuff to color and do on her activity mat. Each call I made I let Lauren tell the person that she was going to have a baby sister. I could have listened to that all day.

My mood did start to change after the wait turned into a almost two hours. Lauren was doing sooooo well until she dropped something and bumped her head when she was trying to retrieve it. Then she started flopping around with annoyance and so I ushered her and all the stuff we had into the hallway to minimize the fallout. Thank goodness when we walked back in after a few minute cool down period the nurse was there to usher us into a room. The receptionist probably called back and said get this lady in the back! Either way we could relax in private now. We were enjoying our goofiness when she was sitting on my lap and I noticed something in her hair. As I looked closer I saw a bug. I told her to sick still, reached for the tissues and got it out. I killed it, examined it and tried not to panic. 

When I mentally talked myself down for panic we resumed the snuggles and chatter only for me to notice another one. This time though when I reached for a tissue it hid itself. Now I was starting to panic a bit. I put her on the counter and tried looking for it. I couldn't find it and of course this is when the doctor walks in. Just shy of two hour after arriving at the office. I couldn't focus on her and tried my hardest to answer her questions. She was in the room for less than five minutes and there was nothing I was concerned about and vise versa- I'm not sure it was worth the 2 hour wait. But off we went. Me trying to convince myself there was nothing wrong with Lauren and trying not to be too annoyed by the doctor visit wiat time.

We picked up lunch for everyone at good ol' McDonalds before arriving at Esther's house. We ate, played, and headed home for naptime. I told Esther about the bug incident but she agreed it was just a fluke. It wasn't until after putting Olivia down and getting ready to lay with Lauren for her book that it popped into my head again. I told her I just wanted to run a comb through her head to make sure it was nothing. 

Well it wasn't. My daughter had lice. I went into panic mode as soon as I used the internet to confirm that the bug I pulled out of her head with a comb was indeed a louse. I called the doctor to talk to the nurse but I had to leave a message. Then I called Matt and told him, and then told him he needed to head to the pharmacy stat to get the medicine needed to treat this situation.  Being a wonderful husband he left work to grab it, with full intention of heading back. That however never happened. Poor sweet Lauren did the best she could but she didn't understand what was going on and why she needed to do what we were asking of her. We spent about three hours total tending to her head and pulling out bug after bug. It was gross.

Not to mention the embarrassment of calling everyone we knew that we had come in contact with during the last two weeks. I wanted to be sure if we did pass it on that they needed to keep an eye out for it.

After Olivia sat in her crib for what I'm sure was long time after waking up from nap, we were so busy with Lauren and she was quiet and content- my sweet little girl, we checked her head. We found only one bug but it was enough to make me feel faint and nauseous. My babies had bugs!!! Nasty!!! We then had to eat and get them into bed. Only to have Matt check my head- I, like Olivia, just had one bug. Again, NASTY!!!! Matt was free and clear. This has made me contemplate buzzing my head a few times... 

By the time we were all cleaned up and on my seventh or eighth load of laundry it was midnight when my bug infested head hit the pillow. That was the end of day 1.

Day 2

I woke up annoyed that a nurse from the doctors office never got back to me. But I was overjoyed that we already had Lauren's 4 year well visit scheduled for that morning. So I rushed everyone and got us out the door and to the doctors. There our fabulous pediatrician told me about Lice Doctors. I had so many questions for her. She told me that the chemicals we used only work at killing the bugs when they are on your head, which is only 10 minutes. We pulled a lot of live bugs off Lauren's head after putting that stuff on there. She told me that when her daughter got it they used this service and it was just a few weeks before all was back to normal, and going the chemical route could be six plus weeks. That right there was enough for me to give them a call. It was also a chemical free route which this pregnant lady liked- I'm not one for chemicals unless it's the only way. It was very expensive but worth every penny (as you'll read in day 3).

After getting back home from the doctors I blew up the air mattress and let the girls watch movie after movie. I made the soup I need to for church and I made about five hundred phone calls. I was very grateful for the outpour of support but if one more person asked if I knew where we got it...I was going to scream. I had no idea. If I did I wouldn't have been so caught of guard and we would have not gone to wherever that was. I've not heard of anyone I know having it, in fact I was the one telling my friends we had it and to check their children. No fun. Thankfully as of today we have not passed it on to anyone outside our nuclear family - and we were just at my sister's house for three day for Thanksgiving!

I also took the time to call the Lice Doctor service and make an appointment for the following day.

It was this day we started noticing Olivia wheezing a bit when she was breathing too. It didn't seem to slow her down any so we lumbered on.

I was exhausted as I went to bed that night. Glad that the lice doctor lady was coming the next day but overwhelmed with everything. I had a pile of clean laundry mounded on my couch. Piles in the office still left to do. And so much more left to be tended to. I had tried so hard that day to keep the laundry train going and keep everything in some sort of order. To get things systematically cleaned up but I just couldn't do enough. 

I was exhausted with no one to help me with all the physical labor. Matt had stayed at work late that day to try and make up for leaving so early the day before, and coming in an hour late since we had the baby appointment. I felt like I just needed some more support than a phone call. I needed someone to battle with me. I kept praying to God for the blessings I had received so far. First, finding it before it had gotten that much worse for all of us. Having Lauren's doctor appointment scheduled and getting to see HER doctor- whom I trust and adore. The help people had given me to pick up the slack of not being able to continue any commitments I had outside of the house. Friends and family that did lend me an ear when I needed to vent all the craziness out. My loving husband who was there to help when he could be. My sweet girls who were surviving just fine even when there mama was going nuts before their eyes. And the fact that this is a situation that can be handled and dealt with- no death sentence here. I did try and cling onto these blessings and try to give thanks for them when I had the energy. But mostly I felt overwhelmed and out of energy. 

Day 3

This day began very early. It was 12:33 am when I was startled awake by the worst cough imaginable. Olivia sounded like a little barking sea lion. She was sick with Croup. I picked up my wheezing baby and took her to our bed. There her and I took small catnaps as we lay there, me trying to elevate her head so she could breath. I wish I would have known that taking her into the cold night air would have helped relax her airways, but I didn't. Matt helped me a few times but taking her to his side of the bed so I could get some small bouts of rest- but she would slip down and start coughing and wheezing again, only to wake me up before I would scoop her back to my side. 

My exhausted body woke up a little late that morning. I heard Matt giving Lauren breakfast as Olivia and I stumbled out of the room. 

I spent most of this day trying to regain some order around the house and tending to the girls. Olivia's temperature was spiking all day long. The acetaminophen helped her but she just wanted to snuggle and I tried to take time to do that, but I didn't get to as much as I would have liked. Lauren was too wired to nap and I just ured for some quiet time I was not going to get. 

I also spent time preparing Lauren about the lady coming and what she was going to do, so Lauren wouldn't be so overwhelmed when she got here. I tried to remain positive. We received another blessing when my step-mom offered to pay some of the super high bill we were about to pay for the service. It would cut our out of pocket expenses for it in half. I also was grateful that we were able to use our flex spending account to pay for the service as well- this will be the first year we will have used that up before the new year began (we have a grace period and have until March of the following year to use it up). 

I did regain some order before Jane got here. She was another blessing. You would have thought it was her pleasure to remove bugs from our hair. The three hour process seemed to go pretty smoothly as we went through the family. It took her an hour to do my head and an hour to do Laurens. Then she did Matt, Olivia, and then the dry check on all three of us girls in the last hour. She was a preschool teacher by day and did this to supplement her income. We talked back and forth about everything under the sun, and I enjoyed the social interaction since I had been cooped up for the last few days. 

When she left I had a positive outlook and felt like our money (and my parents money) was well spent. I can do this!

Day 4

She left with the follow up instructions that has me putting Olive Oil in the girls and my hair each evening for seven days. Then every morning I need to go through our hair with a $17 nit comb I purchased at out local beauty store after she left (another blessing was the coupon I had for the store). I also purchased a few different kinds of "hair dresser" clips to help me be able to systematically go through each head. I also got a catsup bottle from bed, bath, and beyond to dispense the olive oil with more control. All that totalled to just over $20 and has been a huge help. After I go through their hair and Matt goes through mine, we wash our heads with blue dawn and shampoo. This process takes me close to a half hour each night, applying the olive oil to our three heads and then about two plus hours each morning combing and washing/bathing each of us clean. Then I've also been washing our towels and pillow cases, along with having new pj's each night. This amounts to lots-o- extra laundry. 

This morning started just like the last, Olivia waking in the middle of the night with coughing fits and then Lauren joined in on the middle of the night fun too since the shower cap we had covering her hair was bothering her but of course we didn't figure this out until after the twenty minute temper tantrum of frustration came out first. Thankfully everyone did sleep in their own beds after medicine was administered and the shower cap removed. But the morning still seemed to come too soon.

I spent the entire morning tending to breakfast and hair and bath. When I came downstairs after getting everyone dressed it was lunch time. I then tended to lunch and it was nap. I got Olivia down- she was so tired, her temperature continued to spike throughout the day and when it did she just wanted to be in mommy's arms or asleep. I couldn't blame a girl. I was grateful I was able to tend to her more than the day before. 

Lauren did, God bless, nap on this day. Allowing me the same joy. I took an hour nap on the couch- now clean of the laundry mound (some of which had moved to baskets and my bed but other that had been put away). I was awoken by Olivia's cough and cry. I went to get her still tired body and just rocked with her. The house was quiet, the small fake Christmas tree lite the hallway and I just didn't want the moment to pass. I knew I should wake Lauren so she would fall asleep before midnight but I just couldn't bring myself to put Olivia's warm, sweet, sick self down. So I didn't. About 45 minutes later Matt pulled up and join Olivia and I as she became more alert and awake. He woke Lauren and then entertained the kids while I put together dinner.

The nap had given me back a better outlook with my new revived energy level. I talked to Matt's mom after dinner and it felt like a little escape since Matt played with the girls and I got to enjoy a small bit of adult talk. 

I was still a little sad since it was this evening that I was suppose to leave and help chaperone the high school youth retreat. I had been looking forward to this weekend since early fall. I lead them in a Bible study each Wednesday night at church and have really enjoyed getting to know each them. I was looking forward to seeing them grow that much closer to God through the retreat and be there to again support their growth. I was also looking forward to a weekend away from being in charge since that role would be on Lisa, our youth leader. On top of it all, I didn't have to cook, clean, or change a single diaper, it would be a few days to enjoy being Jennifer. I love being mommy and wife but every now and then it is nice to be Jennifer.

So anyway, we put the girls down and enjoyed our first night of uninterrupted sleep in three days!

Day 5

So I thought that the sleep would help my outlook but today I woke up on the cranky side of the crib. I think me getting sleep gave my brain a chance to process all that had happened and all that I was about to endure as I continue to pull bugs out of my daughters head.

Lauren began the morning well, as did I. However, that did not last. She became extremely demanding and rude as the morning progressed- not usually her character and I just continued to get more irritated with each selfish remark. I sent her to her room at one point because I could feel my patience slip away from me. Even her apology after she calmed and we talked was uncharacteristically insincere. That should have prewarned me her bad attitude was going to continue and my patience was going to disappear. It ended with me screaming at her in anger and going into my room, closing the door, and crying. I was starting to feel the emotions I had no energy to feel over the past four days. I was upset that we have been so overwhelmed with bugs that my role as mommy just seemed overloaded. We haven't had a chance to embrace and enjoy the good news of our newest baby girl. I was missing out on a chance to get away and replenish myself with my God and friends. We were going to have to endure more canceled plans because it is going to take me two plus hours to get through the morning routine for the next five days. I felt awful for yelling with such anger at my daughter who yes was not being her best, but for sure didn't deserve the weight of mommy's world yelled at her.

As I cried in bed Matt came to check on me. I told him I just was looking forward to a little time away and instead I just got more added mommy responsibilities. I just was upset and frustrated by the change of plans. I was trying to calm myself with scripture but I just couldn't summons up anything that would bring me comfort- why was He calling me to stay home? Why couldn't I just have a little break? Why was I wondering why when I knew that His plan is always better? I felt like Lauren, I knew to do better but I just wanted to do it my way- I just wanted to grumble, fuss, and complain. 

I think I feel asleep for a bit and then emerged from my room to eat my breakfast, at 10:45. I've taken a back seat to the parenting thing and let Matt run the show for the day. I've spent plenty of time on here getting my feelings and thought out, in hopes that I will be able to regain some sanity and reflect on the blessings I've seen in the last few days.

Today's blessings continue to come. I've had quiet time, I've chatted with a great friend- who herself had been though the lice fun with her girls just a few years back, I've had a wonderful husband who has put himself last today in order for me to take a backseat, I've had some snuggle time with my still sick Olivia, I've enjoyed the smell of the crock pot meal Matt put together for dinner, I've enjoyed hearing the giggles and play that Lauren has had with her daddy. 

I'm a blessed woman and I know this. I just sometimes need to remind myself. I also need to remind myself that as much as I can feel alone, I'm not. I might not have gotten the physical helping hand that would have helped me through these five days but I did receive a lot of prayer help and a lot of people were there for me in a different way.

I also need to remember that often times after Lauren has gone through a physical growth spurt she often goes through a mental/emotional one where she retests all the boundaries to make sure they're still there and that might very well what we're dealing with here, just an old updated version- bless my soul. So prayer and patience and perseverance are the only things that are going to get us through such a time.

Off to tend to the little ones and come out of 'hiding' for a bit. Time to remind myself what a blessed lady I am by hugging those little girls and that big guy too!

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise-- in God I trust and am not afraid." 56:3-4a

Sugar & Spice and Things that are Nice

My last few posts have been heavy and so today I was thinking I needed to trap some fun/crazy things that have been going on here.

Let's see, last Saturday we had a family date night at Target, one of our favorite places to just browse, although most of the time we leave with something. Anyway, we usually spend a fair amount of time in the dollar area. Lauren was able to spot $20 worth of things she would love to own. But we narrowed it down to three. Olivia was browsing but only seemed to care about this crazy ball that when you throw it, it lights up like a crazy disco light and it had stretchy koosh ball hair (remember koosh balls- it was like elementary school time for me when they came out and they were the thing, oh and snap bracelets- those have come back into style...oh the memories!). So back on track here...I let her play with it in the cart but figured I'd just tell the cashier we didn't want it, oh she's still at that sweet/innocent time where this trick works. Well anyway we spent tons more time in the rest of the store and then headed to the checkouts, well on the way I got distracted by something and Matt continued on (this happens a lot, and then I wonder where Lauren gets it- but more on that later). Well by the time I realized I better go and meet up with the rest of my family, Matt and the girls already paid. Oh another side note, I was bummed since I had bought a basket for books this school year and the cashier had put the purchases in the basket instead of bags (see basket and Olivia below)- I love Target bags about as much as the store. I know you must be wondering why on earth you read my blogs at this point, but they are the perfect size for our garbage cans in the bathrooms. Grocery store bags are too small and if you're lazy like me and don't change them regularly it's nice to have a bigger bag to last that much longer. So I expressed how I was bummed she didn't use bags and you know what...she just took a whole big stack of bags and put them into my basket- how cool was she. Well Matt said he thought there might have been a few screws lose since she played with everything and commented on it too. Which brings me back to the point of all of this. Since I wasn't there at the check to give the ball back we purchased a $3 ball thingy for Olivia! Oops. She is amazed by it and today she just started bouncing it hard enough to get it to light up on her own. I mean it's not going to win toy of the year but it makes her smile, so it wasn't too much of a waste but not quite as useful as the socks and shark ice pack Lauren settled on. So now every time she plays with it, smiling the whole time, I just laugh and enjoy.

Olivia doesn't think that the basket is for
books but it's her personal play pen!

She loves getting in there! Good thing it's sturdy.

See the smile I just don't mind seeing OVER and OVER-
I told you it's worth a $3 goofy toy from the $1 section.

Speaking of laughing. I was laughing at myself today in the car. I had completely forgot until today when I spoke with Garrett about having Caiden over that I still hadn't gotten his birthday present. And even though Matt and Lauren took a fun trip to Barnes and Noble last night I didn't tell them to pick up a gift certificate for him. So the girls were up from nap at 4:30, giving us plenty of time for a quick trip over and back and still have dinner ready or at least close to ready when Matt got home. Lauren was overjoyed at my idea and Olivia just rolls with the flow, gotta love her! So I pulled into a parking spot that was between two cars, the one on my right had a lady in the drivers seat, which I noticed. I put the van in park, took my foot off the brake, looked to the right and gasped in horror! Why did I gasp, well the lady started pulling out and my brain interpreted her car going backwards as mine going forward. I thought I didn't put the car in park and were going to hit the car in front of us- YIKES! Of course Lauren asked "Why'd you say HHUUUUU mama?" At that point I was laughing at myself, coming down off the adrenalin rush, and being thankful that my brain was wrong and we were indeed safe and sound. Oh goodness, so maybe it isn't that funny now but it was to me.

So that also reminds me of my little "Mini Me" we have in our house. Lauren has a very similar personality to me and sometimes it can be sweet and adorable, and other times it can be a scary look into the mirror. Matt often tells me of things that she does or things she says and when she does them Matt replies to her "Okay, Jennifer." (I'm sure he does in with love on his mind ;-) So tonight after bath Matt and I were getting the girls into their pj's and we were nearing the end, so I was combing through Lauren's hair (my it has gotten so long). She was playing with a toy that had gotten away from her and Matt pushed it back to her with his foot. I told Lauren to thank daddy and tell him how amazing he is (a common phrase around here, thanks Peg + Cat for that one). So she did and he replied "Oh your welcome baby. You're amazing too" and her reply..."I know" LOL, really child. The best is when Matt replied to her statement with "Okay, Jennifer." It had me laughing and Matt rolling his eyes at me. Gotta love my family!

Oh another random thing about tonight. So Thursday is Zumba night and I love going. But I guess my brain was on vacation or something because after dinner we were sitting around playing and I didn't pay a lick of attention to the time and at 7:40 (when the class starts) Matt looks at me and says "Oh...Zumba." So what does a girls do since she missed her working out- oh I head to Sonic and get onion rings and a milkshake. Not all for myself...Matt and I shared. Just justifying my indulgence. But as we sat there after realizing I had missed class and I guess we were both thinking about food, dinner must of not been to satisfying for us, and Matt mentioned milkshakes and I said I could really go for some onion rings. Then Matt looked at me with a smile and said "Sonic has half price milkshakes after 8!" So off I went on my covert operation to get an evening snack? Who does this? Not something we do regularly around here, but spontaneity is good for the soul (just not so much for the waist line). Matt started the girls on their bath while I was gone and then we took turns going down stairs to "look at something" once I got back while the other one watched the girls (we're so sly,...hehehe or not). Guess I'm going to have to swim extra at the pool tomorrow with the girls and Caiden to work off our spontaneous fun. 

Oh well. I've been meaning to do a top ten list of the girls and all their cuteness these days. They're growing and changing so much- it's a little sad and a lot exciting all at the same time. I'm hoping writing it here will give me more incentive to do it. This week I'm starting to remember what life is like when you're not going 110 mph for weeks on end. This was the first week I haven't had a to do list taller than Olivia. I'm done going places for a bit, I'm done recouping from being places, I'm done planning/organizing for school this year (we start September 8th...Lauren and I are both super excited for school- I'm so glad I get to be part of it with her), I'm done catching up on house work (except dust, oh I hate dusting- they need to invent a Roomba for dusting! I love vacuuming so I don't need a machine to do that for me, but dusting NOW that I would invest in! Maybe I should have Matt invent it so we can afford it too). But really it has been an adjustment for me to remember what it is like to just have a lazy day around the house. Oh it was nice. 

But things will pick up soon enough with school around the corner and we have Matt's parents coming in Labor Day weekend, we're looking forward to that. Then we have CBS on Thursday mornings (community bible study) that the girls and I are doing this year, and Wednesday nights start up at church too. Matt and I have been talking about just doing the dinner part since we're already doing Sunday school, CBS, and there is a bible lesson every day for school. But we'll see. Then mid September we're off to Day Out with Thomas, and Percy lucky us, with my sister and her family. So life never settles for too long, but that's okay it means were building memories, visiting with the ones we love, and enjoying what God has blessed us with- each other. I feel very blessed and sometimes I get upset when I'm not enjoying life and these blessing to the fullest, aka getting wrapped up in the little things or the business of it all. But not today, today I embraced the blessings and let that other stuff roll away. Amen to that and all God's gifts!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17