Finding Home - Part One and a Half

Finding Home - Part One and a Half

Jeremiah 17:7-8

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Part 1.5 - Renting

Soooo the journey of selling our old home (Part 1) was quick, in retrospect of course. While we were in the thicket of it, yes it felt like forever! It was always our plan to sell before seriously looking for a new home. I was convinced I would find the perfect house before ours sold and then we'd have to watch it sail down the river with another crew aboard. I'm that way with a lot of things. I don't like to look for things until we have the money for them. Sure I window shop to some degree but I didn't want to do any SERIOUS house shopping until we knew our house was under contract. With that being said we always knew in the back of our minds that there was a possibility that we'd not find a house in time and we'd have to rent.

Well that possibility became reality, even though I never really thought it would. We looked at a few house but God had not yet revealed our house which seemed to work out okay since we had all the drama with the first contract falling through and then getting another one. I had even begun looking for temporary housing when we found the "Hoof" house. With this house we were going to do a quick close and so if we rented back our old house from the new owners for a few days we would have been just fine, however that was not the case. The "Hoof" house didn't workout (more to come in Part 2) and so on May 10th, just a few weeks from closing and being homeless (literally), we realized we'd have to find a house or apartment to rent in between homes. 

This moment was one I have so vividly etched into my memory. I remember talking to my mom and step dad on the phone when we realized the "Hoof" house wasn't going to work out and I needed to rally and figure out where God wanted us to go. My step dad told us to pray together. I got off the phone and laid with Matt in our bed and I told him I didn't have the words to pray and I don't think he did either. Our emotions were everywhere. Our thoughts all jumbled together. Our kids and our well being on the forefront of our over loaded minds. But in these times, times when you can't come up with the words, our loving God is there no matter what. Romans 8:26-28 tells us "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant conditions, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is working into something good." (The Message translation).

Just a few weeks earlier in my Thursday Bible study, before we'd found the "Hoof" house, I randomly asked if anyone knew of a place or had a place that my family could rent because we were about to be homeless (said in a joking manner). A lady I barely know, Darlene, (since she'd missed much of the study due to her husbands illness) said she had a place. It was in a part of town I wasn't familiar with and we exchanged information. About a week later she called me to say she didn't think the house would be ready in time for us to use it and I told her no problem since we'd found the "Hoof" house by that time, we wouldn't need temporary housing. I was so grateful for her willingness but was grateful too that I wouldn't need it.

Fast forward now two weeks and I'm at the same Bible study in tears and speechless. Frustrated and scared. Upset and nervous. In God's arms and waiting on His provision. Just two days earlier, Tuesday evening, I had found out that the "Hoof" house was no longer viable and we'd have to pass on purchasing it. The inspection report came back and it was revealed to us that we'd need another place to live and our house hunt would forge on. 

The Wednesday in between finding out we'd need temporary housing and Bible study, I had begun the day on the floor, in tears and on the phone with my mom. After getting all the frustration and tears out I began looking for townhouses and apartments. I must have called over 25 places. In the end I had two apartments complexes that could take us. The apartments available were both two bedrooms. Each one would have to be nothing less than a 6 month lease. Both of them cost over $1200 per month. And after a half day of searching I was at ends with God.

Really!?! He wanted me to put my family of 5 into TWO bedrooms. Let's not forget the cat. Plus we'd have to rent a bigger storage unit because we were not fitting our whole house into a two bedroom apartment, not to mention all of the stuff in our shed. I just cried and cried what felt like all day. I couldn't believe this is what God was asking of us?

So at Bible study that next day I just couldn't hold myself together. I just couldn't understand what God was doing with us and why. I wanted to put my faith and trust in Him who has it all worked out and I honestly had no other choice but why on earth a tiny little apartment God...really.

At the end of the study the women, oh my sisters in Christ, all showed such support as I poured out my heart. It was then that Darlene approached me again. She said "I just texted my husband and he said we will do everything in our power to get the house ready for you if you want it." I must have looked as beaten down as I felt, I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me.

The next morning we went and looked at the Darlene and Ray's rental house. Oh I can tell you now I was looking at it through God's eyes and not mine. It was in need of lots of love! It never looked unlivable but it was in rough shape. But they were going to work hard, he assured me, to get it into better shape. They were going to put new flooring in the kitchen and two bathrooms, new toilets, new vanities, new paint throughout, paint the kitchen cabinets, put up ceiling fans, new stove and dishwasher, new fence in the backyard, new shed doors, new window treatments, new kitchen facet and garbage disposal, clean up the hardwood floors, resurface the tub and put in new tub surround walls and some other things that are alluding me know. They had only 2.5 weeks to get it all done before we needed to move in. And God willing, they did got the majority of the work done hours before we moved in. And answered prayers we didn't even know to ask for. This house fit our needs- however temporary- God provided!

For instance, there were no washer and dryer here. Matt and I thought we could do the laundry mat or maybe rent a washer and dryer from one of those "Rent-a-Center" places or at times bum off friends. But the day after we walked through the house Darlene texted me that they were going to put a washer and dryer in too. Tears fell once more- we didn't even ask God but He knew. Although the washer and dryer proved to be the first of many trials we faced while living in the rental. You see, they didn't get hooked up until 5 days after we moved in- unknown to us until the day of move in. But hey those five days taught me that I wouldn't have lasted 6 weeks without a washer and dryer! God knew, oh yes, He knew!

Many more trails came to us after the washer and dryer were hooked up though. But first I want to sing the praises of God's provisions. The rental house might have been twenty plus minutes from everything and everywhere but it FIT.OUR.NEEDS. We didn't have to rent any other space. And the rent per month was a fraction of what we would have spent on those apartments! The shed fit all our 'shed stuff' and the patio fit our other outdoor stuff too (kids toys and patio furniture, etc.). There were THREE bedrooms! I never thought one bedroom could make or break me but this was HUGE after touring those tiny apartments. The biggest bedroom housed all three girls beds/crib and dressers plus three hampers and a nightstand. Matt and I had all of our bedroom stuff in a small bedroom where there is just enough room to walk around the bed and from the door to the closet (all we really need for a short stay). The third bedroom housed our many unpacked boxes, our food and Annabelle's stuff. The living room was plenty big enough and housed the majority of our furniture. The kitchen was sufficient and then there was one more room, I called it the back room- which is where we had the table and the computer desk. 

The house was only ~100 square feet less than our old house. I had to laugh when my FIL came up to me they day we moved into it and said "The movers don't think we're going to fit all your stuff in this house." I just gave him the "don't worry about it- it's going to work" kind of look. And to their astonishment it all fit fine.

One thing I wasn't prepared for, and I don't know if I ever could have been was the emotional aspect of the move. With all our physical needs being met, it was hard to anticipate the emotion roller coaster I'd be on as we moved into the rental. I was sad for leaving the old house, but not in a way that made me want to stay there. No, I was very ready to put that house behind us and found 'home' somewhere else. However, I wasn't ready to find 'home' in the rental. I was very tired after the trials of selling the house and I think I was very frail. This made living in the rental hard for me. This wasn't what I had planned, I know please keep your laughing to a minimum, but I didn't like the place. Not the actual place but what it meant emotionally.

It meant moving twice and all the physical, financial, and  emotional energy that this was going to take. It meant that I was going to have to stretch myself and live on faith that I didn't know I had. It meant that I was going to have to be patient once again. It meant that I was going to live in a state of limbo and have to hunt for my things and live out of boxes. It meant that I was going to have to rely on God more than ever before because God was taking us down a road that was going to cause us to hold onto our faith in Him and let the rest of it go, the rest of ourselves and our thoughts.

You see we didn't move in and have smooth sailing. No we had many trials during our first three weeks of living here. For the sake of organization I'm going to make a timeline of the tribulations and let you infer how we were broken down before God lifted us back up... 

Week One:
-No washer & dryer for five days
-My mom comes into town and is a huge emotion support 

Week Two:
-We lose air conditioning in the heat of summer for four days
-We lose our bathtub as they begin work on the tub surround and fixtures for three days
-My mom heads back to her home

Week Three:
-We lose power after a bad storm (just 24 hours after getting AC back) for three days

As I list it out it doesn't seem as traumatic as it felt during everything. But it just felt like one thing after another and I was emotionally spent before it all began. I went to bed exhausted each day and just waiting for what would come next. It seemed like every time I took a breath and felt like we must be through the worst of it, something else came along.

My mom had gone home on a Wednesday and the following Sunday at church (when we still had no power) she said she prayed that if nothing else God would give us back our AC. That a week without it was more than enough and if He was going to continue to mold us in these ways that he would at least give us cool air to weather the storm. 

But around the corner of each trial there was God provision. From friends who lent use of their washer and dryer and bathtub and cool house in the heat of the day. To the use of our church freezer for our food and refugee when the house was being worked on. To wonderful landlords who where doing things to make the house comfortable for us- including putting a new AC unit in. To having found our 'forever' home- giving me comfort that this time in our lives was temporary and that God's promises to provide and prosper us were as true during our trials as they were every other day of our lives.

I grew A LOT in that house. It was there that I really just lived on faith each and everyday, in a way I wouldn't have if we had gone from the old house right into a new house. God wants us to prosper. In 2 Corinthians 8:9, he says "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich." and in Jeremiah 29:11 He says, "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And these and many other promises didn't change just because my earthly circumstances did. God was providing for us and molding us to be more like Him and to have faith that can move mountains.

I often times want to write on here to get out all the love God shows me daily. I want to write down memories to reflect on later, memories my feeble brain might forget otherwise. But I also want a written archive of my faith journey. How God took the worldly heart of one woman and transformed it into a heart worthy of God's eternal, heavenly future. Of all the things God promises, easy is not one of them. Our selfish, sinful nature wants life to be easy and for things to be handed to us but God wants us to grow and become the person He brought us into this world to be and I don't want to be anyone else and the trials of this life will just make me realize that this is not our home! We were created for something bigger. So I'll leave you with a poem I came across and it really struck a cord in my heart. Don't worry...Part 2 is coming because our newest HOME is just moments away and I can't wait to share the story of how it came to be ours!!!

Finding Home - Part 1

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Part 1 - Selling Our House

It was this time last year that God started us down the journey of finding a new home and selling our current home. In the fall we spoke with my great friends husband, Mike (he's a realtor), about if we could even do such a thing. You see we bought our house at the top of the market back in 2006- ten years ago. Little did we know then that it was the top and the housing bubble was about to burst. He said he was confident we could. We calculated the numbers and came up with the magic number of what we would need to sell our house and get out. And by that I mean to just be able to put this house behind us, not make a dime off it. We were all optimistic it was possible so we made plans to put it on the market the following spring.

It was then that I began praying for the people who would love our home as theirs and for our next home to be ready for us to grow into. This process has been bathed in prayer from the moment of conception and God's hand has been in every up and down too. But as you'll see God's plan isn't always ours and our dreams are often not as big as His. But He tells us to be transformed to His ways, His good, acceptable and perfect ways. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD (Isaiah 55:8). 

Well fall and the holiday season went by and before we knew it, January was here. This was the month we began the physical and emotional journey of selling our current home. Little did we know how this journey was going to stretch us, break us, mold us and renew us but that is exactly what has happened. 

We spent the beginning of the year preparing the house. We decluttered by renting a storage unit and cleaning out closets, donating things, and just tossing some stuff in the garbage (why have we kept this all these years??). We paired down kitchen supplies and toys. We washed windows and walls. We reorganized and simplified and depersonalized. We spent weekend after weekend working on the house. We painted and moved around furniture. We had a friend from church come and 'stage' the house with decorations. And by the beginning of March the house was ready. I'm not sure we were ready but the house was looking good- we however were a little more tattered and worse for the ware than a few months earlier.

It is kind of an uncomfortable thing to let strangers walk through your home. I would equate it to getting your pants pulled down in public. You are just exposing yourself to whomever called to look at the place. But as reluctant as I was we opened the doors to the public mid March.

Now having people come to into my house was no small thing. Each time we had a showing it took me a good solid hour or so (depending on the state of the house prior to the call) to get it ready. I would start upstairs with picking up toys and making beds. Then I'd stuff all the kids things away (baby gate under a bed, step stools in the bathtub, changing pad under the crib etc.). Then I'd vacuum the whole upstairs. Then I'd move to the downstairs where I would corral the little ones into a room with some form of TV on. I'd pick up, organized, and vacuum. I would have to strap Audrey into her car seat at some point because as soon as I'd get anything picked up she'd be pulling something else back out- oh how I was losing my mind. Then I'd pack the kids into the car with their toys from the living room and put on music or a book and run back in to do the last room and run over my check list to be sure in the hectic moments I didn't forget anything.

It.Was.Crazy!!!! We had the house on the market for only two and a half weeks before the first offer came in and it felt like a lifetime! We were ecstatic but more so me because it meant that I would be able to sleep again. I slept horribly throughout this portion of the process. It was excruciating. I was always on edge and not myself. I found it hard to relax and this was just as exhausting as not sleeping. I didn't enjoy being around myself most days and felt awful for my family who were stuck with me just the same. But that was past us now, or so we thought.

The house was off the market two weeks when we found out that the purchaser was unable to find financing. She was a single mother and had some bad past mistakes still holding her back from her dreams of owning a home. My heart went out to her. In fact, when this first setback came I was okay with it. I just took it in strides. And less that 24 hours later we were right back at the beginning.

Now God was with me, yes it was tough, but let me tell you some days it was His strength and not my own getting me through the constant cleaning and packing up kids and food (the showings during dinner hours were my least favorite, we ate a handful of meals at church due to this craziness). He was with me in the middle of the morning when I couldn't get back to bed and I lay there for hours on end wishing I could calm the anxious thought that kept me awake. He was there when I wanted to cry but instead I put on my big girl britches and did what needed to be done. He was always there.

So now it was April and the house was back on the market. This time it only lasted a week and we had TWO offers come in. I was blown away by how God was just showing us he had this. This time we accepted an offer that came in above asking price! We were jaw dropped at how good our God was. Woohoo! Not only was it a great offer but it was very apparent that they LOVED our house. They wrote a letter to us and I kept thinking "This is what I was praying for." God had answered my prayers!

They quickly did the inspection and secured financing. Everything looked great. Then the house appraised...oh yes, God was still great but the results of the appraisal were not so great. The offere were had accepted was $2,000 over asking price but asked for $4,000 back at closing. This would have given us about $8,000 net profit on the house. We priced our house with a little wiggle room so we would get at least enough to get out of the house. However, the appraisal came in at $4,000 LESS than what we needed to get out of the house without LOSING money. Yes, you read that right. Now we have to pay money to sell our house, more than what was due to the realtors. And yet, God hadn't left us.

They wanted us to fix some windows (totaling about $1,000 to do so) and they said we didn't have to fix them. They had asked for a $450 home warranty and they took that off the table (their realtor is getting it for them). They took off the $4,000 they asked toward closing costs too. So in the end it doesn't seem like much to pay $4,000 to finally put this house in our past. I told Matt multiple times that do this was worth never having to go through this process again. I mean our alternative was not selling the house until it was worth more but when would that be? And we'd have to start from scratch again at that point! No, God didn't want us to do that. He wanted us to surrender the money to Him and His plan. 

So that's where we are now. We officially lose ownership on June 1st and we need to be out of it by June 4th at noon (we've rented back from them for a few days but more about that in Part 2 - Buying a House). More to come though because along side this journey of selling our house, we've been on another journey to find our next home and oh man it has been just as bumpy of a road.

My Tangible God

I have been really, really wanting to get on here and write what has been on my heart lately and here God is giving me that opportunity. Two sleeping girls, Wednesday nights Bible study planned and Thursday's Bible study homework up to date and Matt isn't due home for a bit, plus, it's leftover night so no dinner prep needed! Can you see me dancing with joy like a fool! 

Life has been busy, as it usually is. Olivia turned 2 last week!!! Just blows my mind that she is two already. Potty training is on the up swing. She has been so good and is gaining control over it all. Allowing us to enjoy life in longer increments than the ol' 45 minute routine we had just a week ago. I'm so proud of her- she truly is a big girl now. Lauren is just plugging away, throwing surprises our way at every turn. She is so freakin' smart sometimes, I am truly amazed that the things she says (quite literally on a daily basis) and does. I sometimes just take a step back and enjoy the fun that it brings to our house. She's such a young lady. Matt said to me the other day that he wished he could put a little recording device around her neck so we could document all the wonder, beauty, and down right silly that just escapes her mouth all day long. I told him I would agree as long as it was just her voice you could hear when it was played back, lol, this mama doesn't need to hear her own voice anymore than I already do!

Look who can even pour her own cereal...well sort of 

Lauren's skills are a little better- she'll teach Olivia I'm sure

Matt's wonderful parents where down visiting us this past weekend. Always a blessing and an unexpected one too. Which leads me right into what I really, really want to put down in this post. 

I think it was last week Wednesday when could feel God walking through my day with me. It has been one of those times in my life when I truly feel like His presence is so tangible that it gives me the goosebumps (or chill bumps for you goofy folk ;-). So here goes my days.

Wednesday was going to be a crazy day, and for the most part it still kind of was. I had a baby appointment with the good ol' OB GyN. I always get excited for those appointments- for a few reasons. One, I usually go alone or with Matt and I enjoy either my quiet time or my alone time with Matt. Two, when you're pregnant with baby number three it's hard to find time to just bask in the glory of your pregnant state and these appointments give me time to do just that. Three, I love hearing my baby's heartbeat, oh such a sweet symphony of tones that makes my heart dance. So I was a bit disappointed when I realized that my absent minded pregnant self had also made Olivia's 2 year appointment for the same day. Or it might have been the other way around- I made my baby appointment for the same day as Olivia's, but you get the point. I can't be two places at once.

I called Matt when I realized my grave mistake. I told him the predicament and was secretly hoping he would solve all of my problems and be my hero once again. But no indeed he too could not figure out how I could be at two places at once. I had a babysitter coming, originally for both girls, so I wouldn't have to worry at all about Lauren- Amen! So I asked Matt if he could take the morning off to take Olivia to her appointment and then I would go alone to mine. He said sure and all was right. Expect it wasn't. I really LOVE going to their doctor appointments- for a few reasons (sound familiar? - if not reread the last paragraph again- and yes I hope you're laugh right along with me on this). One, I love their doctor- she is great and I'd be friends with her in the outside world if I could be. Two, I love finding out all about how they've grown and how they are doing. Three, I like to ask questions- it's in my DNA to be a question asker (ask everyone of my teachers and professors they will agree hands down, or up :-). With Olivia I'm forever asking about her food issues and this time was no different. 

So I prayed and got over it. There was just one small, very small, extremely small chance I could do both. My appointment was at 9:20 and Olivia's was at 10:15. And God afforded me another chance besides the appointments be staggered a bit, there was also the fact that we were at the West End pediatrians office (not our usually office). The appointments were at offices only ten minutes apart. I knew going into the day that it was very slim chance that I could pull it off. After all the OB GyN is so very rarely on time so I just prayed and figured I'd have to hear about Olivia's appointment from Matt. 

Well Jesus was in the car when I got an awesome parking spot in, and when "For the first time in forever..." (yes I'm signing Frozen songs on my blog post) the doctors office was running on time. I got into the room with plenty of time. I'm telling you I've never had an appointment run so smoothly every!!!! I even had time to chat with my doctor, whom I love dearly too, about life and kids as I listened to sweet baby's heartbeat. Then I had to get that ever so wonderful Rhogam shot and since the doctor's nurse was super busy they had another nurse do it and she was ready as soon as I was and I was able to get in quickly to have my blood drown too! I got in the car and raced over to Olivia's appointment. I had been texting Matt my positive progress the whole time. When I got into the car I had a text from him back and I might just make it. So off I zoomed. I pulled into the parking lot, ran (okay, walked quickly) into the office and asked the receptionist where they were. I walked into the room to see Olivia being a sweet girl and the best was when she lit up like a little Christmas Tree when I came into the room. I hugged her and thanked God, whom I swear to you was in the room with us enjoying the moment too. Dr. T and I chatted about baby number three and names. I found out she was as crazy with her children's names as I have been. She also has three children and was very intent to make sure her children's name went together just so. Matt zoned out but I was so excited to not be the only crazy mama who agonized over simple things while naming her babies because it mattered-  to me. But we also talked about the food allergies, which Matt hadn't gotten to so I was also grateful I didn't miss that conversation. Olivia got a wonderful report of heath and didn't even need any shots- just a finger prick, which was with her doctors usually nurse -another wonderful lady! The morning couldn't have gone any better- such an answer to prayer plus more! What a great God we have!!

Then we traveled home to enjoy lunch as a family before Matt had to scoot back off to work. We all enjoy when daddy is here for lunch. I tell you I was walking on Jesus' soft cloud all day and I'm sure he was right there with me. It honestly was a blessing beyond measure.

Then I was praying and praying for Thursday too. You see we have Bible study on Thursdays and last week was rough with Olivia's potty training and I felt awful for both her and the nursery worker. I had a plan of action to turn that frown upside down this week. And there it was Thursday and there He was- Jesus yet again by my side seeing prayers on my heart be answered. She did so good. They had woken up early that morning- so Olivia was able to do her daily morning business at home leaving this mama so hopeful that she was good to go in that department (the week before not so much and she ended up doing it in her pants and I know she was beyond devastated that she wasn't quite comfortable enough to do it in the potty). Anyway- with her #2 out of the way I just had to worry about getting the pee in the pot- I could do this. So I went to the nursery to bring her into the potty every hour or so and help her feel more comfortable. I just left my study to tend to her in the nursery. I had to go there three times but the second two times she was successful and came home in the same pants that she showed up in. I was so proud of her and again so thankful for the tangible evidence that my God cares for even the grossest of our needs.

So then that leaves us with this wonderful weekend. But of course I must backtrack a bit- I wouldn't be Jennifer if there wasn't a back story to everything I say- oh bless my heart. Anyway, I've been prayerful for a new dresser. You see this time around all I needed to do to get the 'house' ready for baby was to officially move all of Olivia's stuff into the 'big girls room.' She has been sleeping in there since December but her clothes still were housed in the nursery. One reason being I had no dresser to put her clothes into and the other being I hadn't gotten around to rearranging all the closets yet (I still have more work in that area but I know I'll get to it). So I started stalking Craigslist for the city we live in and the city Matt's and my family live it. I was finding NOTHING here. On top of being a very small selection, what I was finding was way over priced. I had specifics that couldn't be changed. I needed it to be a chest of drawers since I needed it to fit in the room. It also needed to be 5 drawers high, not 4, in order to fit in all the clothes. And I really wanted a wood that wouldn't clash with the dresser that was already in there housing Lauren's clothes. I'm not to needy...ha! So I did find one and my MIL looked into it but someone else had found it first. I wasn't too discouraged, I mean I do have three months until baby comes into the world needing clothes and all. I trusted God had one picked out for us and in His timing we would find it. I didn't however think he was going to have such an awesome plan, in a way only he can!

Then one week ago- on a Sunday night I got an email from Matt's mom. She found a beauty. I saw it and told her to go for it. It was even better than I could have imagined!! It was a double chest. So there are two columns of drawers- 5 high in the same dresser!! Thus allowing me to put both girls clothes in one dresser!!! Who even knew that existed?? Not I. On top of this fantasticness, it was just one piece of a set. There was a coordinating desk, chair, mirror, nightstand, and bookshelf. Now- ALL of this was in mint condition and ALL of it was just $250. Now we had budgeted about $100 for a used wooden dresser. But we didn't need all of the stuff in the group, so things could be resold offsetting the cost. Plus, Matt's parents so generously helped financially too. So the girls now have a new bookshelf, something I hadn't even prayed for but they needed (there was literally no room left on the one they had and we have many more years of book collecting in front of us). They also have a new nightstand that coordinates with their new dresser and bookshelf. I was just hoping for something that wouldn't clash but God had bigger and better things in store for us. Isn't He GREAT!!!!

Here's the dresser all set up, clothes inside! It fit perfectly into

the space. Just an answer to prayer plus so much more!

Here is the bookshelf...see the room for growth. 

It however is NOT all set up- just books thrown back

on so the floor wouldn't be covered anymore. 

A work in progress...

If this wasn't enough my in-laws were planning a random- we miss our grandbabies visit. So they were able to pick it up and bring it down to us just a few days later. They also took the dresser and nightstand that we already owned and had no room for back to there house for storage until God blesses us with our next home that we're hoping might have some more rooms and we can take it back from them. I was able to move the bookshelf from their room into the office for some much needed storage of school stuff. The house that once felt so big and somewhat empty is now feeling a little snug and not empty at all- and what a blessing that is!

My in-laws presence this weekend allowed for Matt to do a few things around the house and me too. Lauren took a trip to their hotel room again and we got some wonderful alone time with our now 2 year old. I love when we're able to make our children feel special in their own way. We were able to visit with them and enjoy their wonderful company too. I was able to run some errands and get some reorganizing done with the dresser swap, closet rearranging, and new bookshelf arrangement. 

Man the length of this post is beyond my usual attention span or my allotted time. But here I am still able to write. I just can't explain in words how amazing God's love is. I think of the way I try and do special things to make my children feel loved and important and cherished and then I see Him doing it to me. I think that is why I've been so adamant in getting this post down. I want to... 

Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

And Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

We've been through fire, we've been through pain
We've been refined by the power of Your name
We've fallen deeper in love with You
You've been the truth on our lips

Shout to the north and the south

Sing to the east and west
Jesus is Savior to all
He's Lord of heaven and earth

Yes, He's Lord of heaven and earth
~Shout to the North~

"There, in the presence of the Lord your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the Lord your God has blessed you." Deuteronomy 12:7

"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice." 1 Chronicles 16:10

"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, "The Lord is great!" Psalm 70:4 

"In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trust in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation." Isaiah 25:9

There are so many more ways I can quote how I feel about God right now. I feel like rejoicing in Him who knit each of these days together so perfectly in a way only He who created the heavens and the earth can. I might not be a preacher who can tell many how tangible God can be but I can tell all who I know about how God is here with us. And He isn't just with us when things are working out but He's there with us when things are all jumbled up too, if you've ever read any of my other post- especially ones about this past summer- you know that I feel His almighty presence in the good times and the bad. I just prefer the good times...don't we all! So may your week be blessed. May you feel his love, power, and gentleness as you walk through your day. May you know His presence is so close that you feel it in your heart and see it in your daily life.

Well it's time for bath and shower and bed and I'm one tired mama- off to enjoy those blessings!

Glitter, Dreams, and Moments of Grace

First I need to say I might be the only mom of three girls that can't stand glitter. Now I like it when it is on crafts but the darn stuff never stays there. Thank goodness for the invention of glitter glue- it is a life saver. But to those of you who insist on sending glitter covered Christmas cards- I cringe each time I hear the crunching as I open the card. I've been known to throw away some extreme glitter cards without even removing them from their envelopes- I do read them and say prayers for the time they took to think of us but straight into the circular file they go! This year they haven't been too bad but oh glitter how you get everywhere!!! 

Okay can you tell life is better here now that my only grumble is glitter and such. Normalcy has settled back into our lives and the pure crazy is now back to a minimum. 

It all came with my mom and stepdad. They were the first to venture our way this holiday season. They were just stopping on their way on to their final destination but they got here on Monday afternoon and with them came a gust of fresh air that my mind, body and soul so desperately needed. They were able to visit, go see Santa with us, take us to dinner, give me time to grocery shop on my own, love on us and then off they were the next morning.

Then that week seemed to settle some- still not totally but some. We headed back to bible study after missing a week because of the 'bugs.' Lauren sang in the children's concert that was so precious to watch. I didn't get any good pictures of her but took videos and they were priceless. Matt appreciated it since he couldn't be there.

Then Matt's parents were here the following Saturday. They stayed in a hotel this time, which is something different. I appreciated it since it meant less clean up once they left and it was neat to try something new. Their presence gave us the time and rest we, Matt and I, so desperately craved. Matt and his dad got a lot of small projects down around the house and I got a few big ones done. I got the girls summer and fall clothes all packed up and set them home with my in-laws. They are so wonderful and house the billions of boxes of clothes we have accumulated- one reason I'm so super excited that baby three is another sweet girl! But that cleaned up my closets and just felt freeing and refreshing. I also got the crawl space door painted- yeah the one we put up just under a year ago. But it's done so now Matt can figure out how to insulate it and that project can officially be done.

Then if that wasn't enough my MIL cooked and took care of the girls the whole weekend. Then they took Lauren to sleep with them at the hotel Sunday night. It was so fun for her and Olivia who soaked up all the wonderful mommy and daddy love all for herself. Then on Monday I got to go workout in the morning, meet Matt for a date lunch, shop, go to a PT appointment, and grocery shop (again) for a few weeks worth of food- and all of this was done all by my lonesome. Then as an extended family we went to our local botanical gardens for the lights festival. The weekend was like a dream come true. I tell you I went through the ringer at the beginning of this month but God is sure giving me time to recover and rejuvenate. It was a wonderful time Monday but boy was I tired by Monday night- I had gotten so much in that day! Then the next morning they headed home. 

Tuesday morning had Lauren sick again. I tell you our house this year has been a revolving door of one nasty germ after another. Luckily she was the only one who came down with this 24 hour virus that left her just lifeless on the couch with a mild temperature. Since we had done oil in their hair again just to be double, triple sure all was well, they needed to take baths that morning. Lauren did a quick bath and then asked to lay on the couch, only to fall asleep (something my little girl hasn't done since her baby stage). Olivia was on my lap while I talked to Matt about Lauren and then she fell fast asleep, so I laid her down on the couch. There they napped. I had to snap a picture of this! They both sleep about two hours, staggered, but my goodness.

Wednesday was the first day since December 1st that we got some school in! In fact we had school again today- two days in a row!! And it's on the schedule for tomorrow too- yes that means we completed a whole week of school!! That is the lovely thing about homeschooling- besides the many other things- flexibility! But getting off schedule really throws Lauren and I off- we both love routine and knowing what to expect so when everything goes wonky (Lauren loves that word) it throws us off. So glad to get back into the normalcy! 

So onto more exciting stuff, Olivia is now sleeping in her big girl bed. It is funny because with Lauren we set the beds for the first time when we were rearranging the house for impending Olivia's arrival and she just, on her own, went and slept in there and never looked back at the crib. With Olivia we've had her big girl bed set up since before her birth and it has always just been there. We've always called it "Olivia's Big Girl Bed." Lauren knew that one day she would come to sleep with her. In fact, she has been looking forward at least since the end of this summer. I wasn't sure exactly how to do it. One day, over a month ago, I attempted to nap with her in there but that was nuts. Then on Tuesday we were playing upstairs waiting for Matt to get home and she was just snuggled in there and she looked so ready. I thought we could give it a go and see how it all works out. Lauren was all for it and Olivia too. Matt said sure when he got home and now she is out of the crib and into her 'big girl bed.' We're two nights in and they did just fine. They took a bit longer to fall asleep due to the excitement of it all and Olivia and Annabelle are still working out this new arrangement (Annabelle woke her twice in the middle of the night by loving on her). Nap has been more of a learning curve for Lauren and I then anything. Lauren doesn't need a nap everyday and even when she does it is hard for her to head off to dreamland the nights she naps. So I've done 30 minutes of 'rest' time in bed and then an hour or so of 'quiet' time where she plays in her room and enjoys a small snack. Well now that Olivia is sleeping in there she has to leave after the 30 minutes of rest. And I still need my time and Lauren still needs her time, so I have her playing with toys in the nursery, but it just isn't the same as having all your toys, books, and games at your disposal to entertain yourself. She has had shorter quiet times the last few days and until something comes to me. I'm not sure how to solve the problem. Olivia sleeps like a rock but I can't expect Lauren to be pin drop quiet while she plays. I'm sure it will get figured out somehow. Until then, we'll roll with it. 

Anyway, I've enjoyed the moments of answered prayer and God's grace that have come my way in this past week and a half. I am looking forward to a continued calmness for the rest of December as we anticipate my dad and step-mom's arrival this coming week and Christmas excitement just around the corner. 

Many blessings to you as we continue through the advent season- the season of hope and great expectations. Where we see God's grace through the celebration of the birth of a baby. Who came to rescue us from the sinfulness that can consume us if we let it. Who came to rescue us from the pain of this world as He brought the light that shows us the dream life in the next. Who came to remind us how to live life gracefully now and how to behave in a way that is pleasing to God. Who came to guide us and encourage us. Who came to, more than anything, show us God's unending love! 

Amen for that little baby boy!

"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them." Luke 2:6-7

The Difference between 1, 2, & 3

No I'm not going to give you a math lesson, although I love teaching math, but instead I'm going to do something much more fun than that...I'm letting my avid readers (all one of you...okay maybe two of you) know that I'm no longer in survival mode but happily enjoy the second trimester of pregnancy of our third child!!! Yes, that's right there is a bun in the oven and we're jumping for joy over here (but not too high or there might be a spill on aisle five no one wants to clean up)!!! Like I said I pretty much spent the last six to seven weeks in full survival mode. I prayed for energy and would collapse each day at naptime and then right after dinner. Poor Matt was basically a single dad each night since I was in bed, asleep before the girls and him. Last night I was able to be there when the girls got out of bath and help get them dressed for bed and you would have thought someone handed my sweet husband an million dollars- he was so grateful for the help- as I would be if I were him. Haha, I always say you know I'm pregnant or really sick when he's running circles around me.

So how are things different this time. Well let me tell you the four miscarriages have really taken a toll on my mental health. In the last few weeks I've had a few doctor appointments where I've had to fill out the tons of forms, you know the drill, and on there it asked about postpartum depression and it really got me to thinking. I've never suffered from this, in fact I'm often the happiest after baby arrives, but I think there needs to be awareness about 1st trimester depression. The emotional and physical issues I go through during those 12 weeks is one of the hardest thing I've had to do. The constant worry, prayer, and then worry creeps right back up on you. The nausea and endless desire to want to crawl in the bed and just hibernate through the time. I feel like I am literally in survival mode and I'm not the happiest person to be around. I felt like I was just trying to make it through each day and some days each hour. I'm soooo super lucky to have two wonderful children who only a handful of days made mommy want to hide in the closet until daddy got home. And for the almost all of the time Matt was able to tend to the kids for me and let me take a break once he got home from work, and I'm so grateful for this. I also had a few great friends bring us food to help alleviate some burden there. Lots of prayer and a great support system has gotten me through it- the grace of God alone on most days. I don't want to seem overly dramatic but this time is such a struggle for me and is very taxing on Matt too. I just want others to know that they're not alone if they too struggle through this time due to a pregnancy loss. It's scary, to say the least. 

I'm also very grateful for my wonderful doctor, nurse practitioner and overall doctors office. I was in there every two weeks. I had my initial ultrasound around 6 weeks 5 days. Then I had a second two weeks later and then two weeks after that we were able to check for baby's heartbeat via the Doppler and then two weeks later was my 12 week ultrasound. I have found from experience that I can only last about two weeks and then I need reassurance. If I'm going to be honest, it is more like a week but then I just pray, pray and pray some more to make it through that second week. Some people say that the morning sickness helps calm them but not for me. I've been pregnant seven times and each time I was sick as a dog so it does nothing but make me miserable. Right now I'm a week and a half in and I have to wait a full 4 weeks this go round (yikes), but making it to the second trimester does help calm the nerves and also the every growing belly helps too.

So let's talk about this ever growing belly. Here is where I'm going to distinguish between pregnancies 1, 2, and 3- like my title says. I remember with Lauren longing to wear maternity clothes and wanting that big ol' round belly, and it felt like my belly was in slow grow mode and it was never going to happen. I remember with Olivia things in the belly growing department happening quicker and needing those maternity clothes that much sooner. But folks...I was wear maternity clothes, specifically bottoms, at 8 weeks this go round. I think I was just putting them on for the fun of it at like 13 weeks with Lauren. Maybe your slow growing belly with baby number one allows you to slowly acquire the new wardrobe where with babies two and three that tub is ready and waiting a lot earlier, thank goodness. My belly at 12 weeks with baby number three was the same as 20 weeks with baby number one. Oh my abs were so nice a tight and then Lauren and Olivia stretched those puppies out. The funny thing I've only gained 1.5 pound, according to the scale at last weeks appointment. So not sure where this belly is coming from...okay maybe the fettuccine alfredo I've been enjoying, or the extra helping here and there, and those tacos...just maybe. So my sweet baby bump this time has been a source of comfort and discomfort- silly little thing, or is that big thing?!? Oh who knows with me!

So this pregnancy is more reminiscent of my pregnancy with Lauren. With her I desired sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I remember coming home from work and not even eating dinner but passing out on the couch. With Olivia I just desired sweets all the time. I wanted ice cream, cake, pie, candy. My sweet tooth was off the charts and this is not normal with me. Yes, I get the hinkering (what kind of word is that?) for a cupcake or peanut butter anything but not the same with Olivia- I was in overdrive. No not this one though. I want meat and pasta, a nice sandwich with all the trimmings or a good soup and crackers. More of the comfort foods and I was the same with Lauren. And that sleep. All the sleep I can get I take. I sometimes feel like I can't get enough, sort of like I was with Olivia and sweets.

This time I have no instinct of baby's gender. It's interesting to hear others take on it. A lot of the old people at church were very interested in know if we knew already. I told them that fun news won't come until December, if baby cooperates. Lots of people have mentioned a boy since we've got two girls. But Matt and I could care less- happy and healthy is all we ask. It would be more convenient if it was a girl you know the thousands of dollars worth of clothes we already own, we're already in girl mode and I wouldn't need to redecorate. Lol I remember when I was all about redecorating with the other two- this time I could care less- maybe its since with Olivia we had to move the whole house around and that was a task of it own I'm not ready to repeat. On the other hand a boy would be different and new, we'd finally get to use that boy name we've been holding on to since Lauren was in the womb. So really it's all good. I feel like that is a big swing change from pregnancy number one, where we were all about what the gender was going to be. Speaking of that I just want to throw out there, since this is really bugging me lately, finding out the babies gender- no matter when- is a surprise! So many people say, are you going to let it be a surprise and I want to say back well no matter when we find out it's a surprise. Whether it's at the 20 week ultrasound or on the day that baby pops out (ha, like it's that easy...lol) it is a surprise. Anyway, I'm getting off that soapbox. And just a sidenote whatever anyone else does- wait until baby comes or finds out and doesn't tell others or finds out and tells the world that is their choice and I think they're all just great. I just prefer to find out when I can because I can. If it were the old days and I had to wait I'd be just fine but since I can know I would like too. Plus, I love having their name ready and calling them their name and saying it to the baby in utero too. It's just my preference. I'm not condemning anyone else's preference. Okay moving on.

This baby has been so much more fun with Lauren. When I was prego with Lauren there was no sibling around to enjoy it with. Then when I was prego with Olivia, Lauren was a little young to really grasp what was happening, nor did she seem to care (about the same attitude she had when Olivia came home). Where now she's got a concept of there being baby in there and I'm sure as my big belly gets bigger she'll enjoy that too. We plan on bring her to the 20 week ultrasound to see the baby on the TV and found out with us boy or girl (if baby wants to cooperate). We've asked her about names, lol, she said we should name baby Olivia- lol. When we asked if it was a boy or girl she said girl. She's come up with some goofy names too, but they're escaping me now. She understood what she was looking at when we showed her the fuzzy ultrasound pictures. 

That's another thing. Okay with Lauren we got tons of pictures. They were beautiful and clear. With Olivia we got a lot less. In fact, at our 12 week ultrasound we got one and it looked like a cattle skull hanging from a ranch sign and I had to ask the lady for a profile picture. This one, poor baby number three, has had about the same amount as Olivia but they're all so fuzzy and if you haven't a clue what you might be looking at you might as well be drawing it picture with your own imagination. They're that bad. A friend laughed at me and said "I thought technology would be improving but not according to your pictures." Oh I can hope for a great ultrasound tech at the 20 week or we'll just have to make up for it when baby comes out. 

Oh that's another thing. Olivia and Lauren had nicknames before we had a gender to put a real name to. Well I haven't gotten past baby. My sister nicknamed it Pedro since I was overjoyed about taco night at church and was telling her how baby and I couldn't wait to get our hands on the yummy food. Maybe one will come to me, until then sweet little one we'll call you baby.

And another thing, despite the very long and cumbersome first trimester, time seems to be flying. When I was chatting it up with my sister I have been so busy counting weeks I haven't even thought of what month I'm in. So she brought it to my attention that I'm already 4 months prego. Wow, really. Only 5 months to go- that seems so short in the grand scheme of life. April will be here before you know it. 

That is the other thing about this pregnancy is the timing and seasons are so different. Both the girls were pretty close to the same- spring/summer first trimester, summer second trimester, and then a fall/winter third trimester. Well this baby is spicing things up. I've been sick all fall- my favorite season. But I'm really enjoying the cold weather since hot flashes are so much more bearable in the cold. I've felt no need to turn the heat on and just keep the kids bundled. It will also be nice since baby's due date is at the end of the month so I'm more sure this one will be born in the same month in which it was due even if he/she wants to follow in their sister's footsteps by showing up three week early! 

So many fun things. So much I want to remember. I want time to go a little slower but as life goes we forge ahead and move along! I know from pregnancies 1 and 2 this time is something I need to cherish and embrace and eat up each moment. I want to enjoy my sweet family of four since this baby will shake it up, change it around, and give us all more to enjoy and more to do. Oh I wish I could put each of the wonderful blessings down, but I've got more blessings than I do time so I'll just have to smile and try and hold onto those memories as best I can. Matt and I were just talking the other night after dinner that it's really hard to remember what life was like with no kids or just one (other than it being much, much quieter) and how we wouldn't want to go back. So here's to our happy news and praise to the Heavenly Father who created in us a new tiny blessing!

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will received the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Big Red

So here it is Monday and I'm just getting around to writing a post about three weekends ago. I haven't been blogging as much these days and it kills me that so many memories aren't get "archived." Sometimes I look back on old posts and I'm so grateful I wrote them since without them that memory might have set sail to the part of my brain in which memories don't come out of. I was just laughing last night that I'm going down in my old age with full understanding that I'll have some form of dementia- and I feel for my poor girls who will have to deal with their batty mom who can't remember her own name. Anyway, my whole purpose in blogging is to keep track of all the blessings God gives us and each moment with these girls is a blessing. 

Like how Lauren is ALL about being a little mommy these days. She has been dressing up her lovies (stuffed animals) in pj's and clothes and taking them places in her "car." Packing bags of food for them and feeding them. She is just so sweet and cute I can't get enough of it. And the things she says...her vocabulary astounds us. And Olivia is just all sorts of crazy. The other day in the car while we were out and about running errands she was in her seat flailing her arms and legs around in a circular motion screaming and having this little conversation with Lauren and I. I just couldn't get enough of it- I was laughing and carrying on, right back at her. Or the moment the other day when she was on the bathroom floor, while I helped Lauren out, and she got herself stuck in the corner- since she's in the part of crawling where she just pushes herself backwards across the floor frustrated she's moving further away from her desired object- and she was screaming and rocking back and forth trying to figure her way out of this predicament. Any day now she'll be crawling  I can feel it in my bones- yikes! Somedays I just want to wear a video helmet archive it all and then we have our moments of crazy and I'm glad that wasn't caught on camera ;-).

So back to a few weekends ago, because that is when we became the "Minivan Family." The iconic suburb home fully equipped with a minivan in the driveway. That isn't the part I want to "archive" though. I want to look back and remember God's hand in it all. This is a case of hindsight being 20/20.

So it all started WAY back when Matt and I decided it would be financially best to pay off our car loan on the Pilot early. Now full props to Matt who had brought up the idea and about a month or so later it occurred to me that Matt's train of thought was best (which is usually the case, but don't let him know that ;-) He helped me to realize that with the economy the way it is right now our savings account was not making us much money and that to pay off our car loan was really saving us money. This is because the interest rate on our loan was greater than the interest rate on our savings account. Plus, he was still at his old job and paying off that loan meant more money for our monthly budget, which at this point was very much needed. So we put a chunk of money towards the loan and paid it off early. 

After doing this, we still took part of the money we were using to pay the car loan each month and opened a new savings account and put a portion of that money into it so we could start saving for a down payment for a 'new to us' car, when the time was right. Because at this time we didn't see the need for a new car for a few years.

Then months later we were very blessed by God and some loved ones. We were able to pay off Matt's loan completely, leaving us with one one student loan payment. Mind you this was totally unprompted by us- we were approached and didn't ask anything of others. Matt and I both fully believe it was our choice to attend college and assume the debut associated with a four year degree. We had full intentions of paying for these loans ourselves. God had another plan though. Very shortly after having Matt's loan taken care of mine was too. This is a blessing I can say without a doubt is the Lord's doing. Matt and I have diligently been paying off student loans since graduating. We started with four loans, two each. We paid off two before having Lauren, when we were a two income house. The two remaining were manageable and plugging away we would have paid them off but to have them taken care early a miracle beyond words. This freed up the funds needed, without even knowing we needed them. In fact, I have a vivid memory after we were approached about helping us out and saying to God- "You must know something I don't- because we're doing okay right now, You're providing for our needs- why do we need more?"

You see we had the Pilot and a four door sedan, both in good working order, nothing wrong with them. That was until Olivia was born. I know that may seem silly, since both of those cars work just fine with two kids, but here's the kicker- when Brooke is around that brings us up to three kids. And if we're lucky enough God will bless our family again (Lord knows I'd love a van full).

The Pilot seemed SO big, until you put three car seats in there. First off with two kids in car seats in the middle row you can't get to the back row unless you climb through the back. So each time I watched Brooke, I would crawl into the back with her- my butt on full display was I buckled her in. Then add a double stroller into the mix. Plus, in order to give Brooke her much needed leg room, I had to move the passenger seat all the way forward, move the middle row seat all the way forward and then she didn't look like an elf stuffed into a too small box. It wasn't horrible, but it just showed us that a minivan was in our future. And the same goes with vacations/trips. Yes, the Pilot fit all of our stuff but we are busting at the seams, especially when we had a little baby that requires so much stuff- it gets better once they're older and I've become a better packer as I've realized what is needed and what can be lived without. But again all signs pointed to a minivan in our future.

Now I'm going to send you back some years. When I met Matt he was driving his family hand-me-down 1988 Dodge Caravan. He's been a minivan man since I've known him. He has been all about a roomie minivan since we were talking babies. So he was on board when I was screaming "minivan" the first time I tried to put three car seats into the Pilot. 

We are not frivolous people so we did not run out and buy a minivan just to accommodate me driving around with three kids when I watched Brooke. I began praying for our next car and what it might be. Praying for God's timing in this decision. We live on one income- two years ago I would have told you we'd be sporting the same two cars for years to come, knowing full right we couldn't afford a new car any time soon. But then God provided in a way only he can. 

We did kind of set a time frame for the new potential car- we were flexible knowing God's timing would be best. When we first talked about it- we were thinking some time in 2014. As things fell together financially though it seemed that it might happen sooner. So things get better- as they always do when God's hand is in it. So here's the cherry on top and sprinkles all over part! We had set a date for Matt's parents to come down and enjoy the girls while we enjoyed some time to ourselves for our anniversary. And as everything worked out the perfect van came into the scene. It was all we desired and more. It was a gift from God delivered at such a time as we could take care of everything kid free. God even provided babysitter so that we could spend then many hours at the dealership without our little loves in toe. That was beyond my imagination wonderful!

I needed to write this. I needed to achieve His working in Our lives. He blesses us beyond our imagination. We were just hoping for a car to better suit our growing family and he didn't just give a four wheels and a payment. No HE provided the money for the car, a newer car that will last for years, a car that fit not only our list of needs but our list of wants too. 

So here she is "Big Red." The car my kids will remember at their childhood minivan. May many fun memories be made in this car. May many great trips be enjoyed in this car. May God's hand always remain as part of this car so that we will be safe and protected every time we're in it. May it always remain a symbol to us of how God will provide!

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-- to the glory and praise of God" Philippians 1:9-11

Yesterday & Today

Yesterday I was standing in front of the kitchen sink, doing the dishes while the girls slept and I thought of twenty different posts I wanted to write about but ran out of time to do so. And now here I am today enjoying the quiet house- with time to write and blank goes the brain, go figure. So I'm sure this post will be a haug-paug (I have no idea how to spell this word, so roll with me here) of this and that, as I try and remember today all the things that seemed so important not to forget yesterday. 

Yesterday I was remembering how fun it was when we went grocery shopping together as a family this week. I used to have a routine about when I'd go grocery shopping but then Olivia was born (proud mama smile on display). Now I do what works best for the week when I need to do it. Sometimes that means we all go. Sometimes I go alone in the morning before Matt heads to work or at night after putting the girls down. Other times I take one of the girls. Anyway- you get the point- no routine is my new routine (hey that has a catchy ring to it). We had so much fun. It was a BIG trip so it took us two hours from pulling out of the driveway to pulling back in. The girls and Matt hung in there with me. Lauren enjoys shopping so much. The fun thing is the car cart. I avoided them until Olivia came along, she seemed old enough then to handle the responsibilities of the 'car cart.' She got out in aisles that weren't as crowded and took things I gave her back the cart #2 being pushed by daddy and occupied by the groceries. Then she'd load herself back into the car as we navigated to the next aisle. The best part is the reward at the end- M&M's at the checkout. We eat them on the ride home to celebrate a job well done. It also helps after looking at all the yummy food throughout the store to have a sweet treat.

After arriving home- past both girls bedtime, opps- Lauren helped Matt unload the car while I put Olivia down. Then Lauren continued being mommy's helper as she unloaded the bags of food. She just amazes me- when I came into the kitchen she had the freezer stuff in a pile in front of the freezer and stuff for the pantry in a pile by the pantry. This girl's too smart! She was saying "Oh" after pulling each item out of the bag as if she was so excited and thankful for each new package she encountered. It just was a glimpse of how we all should be as we unload our groceries, thankful to God for each thing we have. Like Mana to the Israelites, God provides it all. What a gift! 

Yesterday after a sweet friend gave me the nudge I needed, Olivia Jean went down to three nursings a day. I remember being so ready to drop every nursing with Lauren. Being ready for her to move along and I'm finding myself to be sooooo not that way with Olivia. I think it's because it's happening so much faster with Olivia. She's a good nurser and gets all she needs in a short time so she's progressed along a lot faster than Lauren did. Not to compare them but to show why it is I don't feel ready. 

It all came about the end of last week. She gets three meals of solid food a day and last week I started noticing how she wasn't interested in the solid food and that she was nursing more. I thought at first it was just a phase but that little girl was not getting enough solids so she was more hungry at nursing times. It was a vicious cycle that lead to her waking up earlier and earlier each morning one hungry baby girl. So this weekend it got very obvious to me as she was putting her hand in front of her face at meal times and pressing her lips together. She would moan for food (think I got a video of this because she was a goof with her moaning noise) and then when you went to feed her the food- hands in front of her face and closed lips. But you put a puff on her tray and the girl would reach for it and stuff that sucker in her mouth like a rabid beast. My first thought was, OH NO I got her hooked on puffs, she's not going to eat anything else! What have I done?! Then I realized the girl just wants to feed herself. So then I tried giving her cheerios and the reaction of "happy hungry baby stuffing her mouth" is what we got. I also noticed she didn't mind the stuff on the spoon as long as there was something on her tray for her to feed to herself. So this morning I put small cut up pieces of banana and cheerios on her tray and then feed her peach puree. That little girl ate like a champ. I also reorganized the nursing routine since I cut out one nursing. She now nurses when she wakes, before nap, and then before bed. She eats her solids after her morning nursing, lunch, and dinner time. So far so good. Just goes to show me how very special and different each of my little ones is. Amen to that!

Yesterday I was enjoying the feeling of contentment. This week has been an answer to prayer in so many ways. We were running ragged this summer- in both good and not so good ways. But now with vacations behind us and cooler days ahead of us I'm sure glad for the slowness of this week. I didn't have anything planned for Monday except house chores. We ended up taking an unexpected trip to the doctor for Lauren, but that fit right into "D" week. Then Tuesday we just took a small trip to a friends house to see her ducks- well we saw horses, chickens, a bunny, a dog, and a lizard too but the intention was to see ducks for "D" week. She got to feed them and pet a duck. She was so brave with all the animals coming up to her for food standing firm and not yelling out in fright. So far school has been going great. I really need to sit down and do a post all about what we've done, maybe...someday...hopefully. But yesterday continued with the relaxed, easy feeling as we're stepping back into routine. We went to library time (don't think we made it there all summer) and then the children's museum, which was so deserted I think Esther and I could have stayed there forever and let the kids play. Even with the unexpected trip back home for the forgotten lunch bag- it was still a wonderful day. I have contribute it all to God.

Yesterday I was also thinking about the study on Jonah I just started, and oh is it a wonderful study. So applicable to my life right now. I think Priscilla Shirer wrote this study after clearly jumping into my brain and seeing all the crazy up in there! This is my first study with her and I'm very impressed. I'll have to tell you more as I go through it- I'm looking forward to study group tomorrow- so much to share and I can't wait to hear what the other women are think too. Such a blessing!

Today I was thinking about how God has worked this relaxing yet productive week in just when I needed it most. He has helped me through the unexpected events of dropping one of Olivia's nursing, which I wasn't feeling very ready to do but it has worked out wonderfully. He was there when I realized I had forgotten our lunch as we pulled into the library parking lot, with not a moment to spare. He was there when I went to pick up my very full cherry pomegranate juice only to have it slip from my hands all. over. the. floor. He was there in the moments I just couldn't get enough of- playing with Lauren and doing school with her. Watching her smile and laugh. Run and be the super silly girl that she is. He was there as I rocked Olivia and built blocks with her just so she can squeal with delight and knock them all down. When she was happier than a clam watching Lauren play about around her. He was there in the few quiet moments Matt and I get to enjoy each other as husband and wife, with laughs and sweet embraces. We have such a loving Heavenly Father who provides what we need, when we need it- even if what we need is to drive a ten minutes back home to get the lunch we so absent mindedly forgot. 

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelations 1:8